Some context: I’m not black and don’t live in the black experience.
I found this video essay involving modern blackfacing and minstrel shows called The Evolution of the Culture Vulture interesting. Some white guy i know started saying the n word ending with an “a” as a joke when almost 30 years old. I only see him once every several years and idk if I should send him this video. We dont talk in between those years. He’s mostly associated with my boyfriend, and they can go over a year without talking. If I end up doing that I would say “Even though I think its not okay you’re specifically doing an exact thing in this video, I still appreciate your intent and your great quality of trying to create good vibes however you can. This does not mean at all that I’d disown you as a friend. Its just to say take a step back and examine what youre doing when you…” Idk i can’t think of how to discuss this with him so here I am.
He’s a busy guy, he may never watch the video. I have social anxiety too so I may never send anything. I just want to know how to carry out a convo about this and still want advice anyways. That shit really bothered me and I couldn’t place why until seeing the video.
How about: “The N word is not for white people to feel like they’re winning at things(including humor and making people laugh.) It’s for black people to reclaim power over something they’ve been dehumanized with for hundreds of years. It’s not for you to reclaim. Although many non-black comedians like to do it and many people find them funny, there’s great reason why you still shouldn’t say the N word. Even if it makes some people feel nice, it has a sinister side despite any good intentions. The video explains a common uncomfortableness I personally couldn’t quite understand until I watched it.”
Seperate text: “Even though I think its not okay you’re specifically doing an exact thing in this video, I still appreciate your intent and your great quality of trying to create good vibes however you can. This does not mean at all that I’d disown you as a friend. Its just to say take a step back and examine what youre doing”
Humor is not my strength, so maybe being straightforward and gentle at once would be good enough. That’s the most I can put in my own words for now. I’m overwhelmed by the length of your examples but I could understand it much better than your last comment. I’ve said it before, my reading comprehension isn’t the best. But thank you so much for using examples.
That works well too.