My partner is concerned that I’m going to suddenly start being attracted to men once I start on the trans-mission fluid. Apparently she keeps reading Reddit posts about people who’s sexual orientation changes after they start hormones. How common is this? I can’t personally think of a word in which I would be attracted to men. Honestly it kinda crosses me out. I did go through a period where I decided to see if I was bisexual and slept with a couple of dudes, but I found the experience really off-putting. Have any of you ladies experienced a switch in sexual orientation? If so, from what to what?
I think I would be considered more gynosexual. But I’ve only been romantically attracted to feminine minds. And physically attracted to feminine features which is heightened by a feminine smell. I can actually tell when a woman is pregnant by the effect their smell has on me.
You just don’t know what it will be like … a lot of my attraction to women shifted over time … it turns out being a repressed woman made me react to women with a kind of obsessive reverence that diminished once I became a woman - but the changes were not a complete reversal into only wanting to date men …
I know some trans women feel more like women when they date straight men, and that’s a real psychology, but even though I’m bi and now attracted to men, and I would feel validation as a woman by dating a straight man, I still wouldn’t do that (even if I were single).
Like you I just love and trust women, I could see sex with men but a relationship would probably be harder to make happen. Even with my most sensitive queer male friends I struggle in the friendship in ways I don’t with women - I’m just not cut out to date men, I want too much emotional intimacy and feel too much like a lesbian if that makes sense 😅
Anyway, you should talk to your partner, getting lost about the details of sexuality changes on HRT misses the most important part, which is that they are feeling vulnerable and insecure, and reminding them that you will love them regardless of how your sexuality shifts could be helpful.
edit: (and in my experience, you might feel vulnerable and scared of losing her, too, as you transition - my partner is pan and very supportive of my transition, but I still felt scared and vulnerable when I transitioned, they are huge changes and it makes sense both people might worry the relationship could be impacted or romantic interest might not be the same as it was, etc. - I certainly became a very different sexual partner, but in the end it worked for my spouse and she is very happy with my transition)
edit2: also might be worth exploring why it matters to your partner whether you experience attraction to men, I keep forgetting how common it is for cis straight people to have misconceptions about gender and sexuality, she might fear your gender stuff is actually repressed homosexuality, it’s also possible she doesn’t believe bisexuality is real and that if you experience attraction to men that you will really be a gay man rather than a bi woman - might be worth getting clarity on what the beliefs and concerns are on her end.
She’s bisexual. But she’s been spending too much time on Reddit. I wouldn’t say I look at women with any sort of reverence. More a sort of insatiable hunger. A bit like the way a fat kid looks at an all-you-can-eat cake buffet.
honestly that sounds a bit dismissive, reddit isn’t the problem here, you should talk to her about what her actual fears and concerns are - she’s seeking our reddit content to confirm her fears and it might help to talk to her and reassure her
also couples counseling is a good idea, it helps create space for discussing and exploring these kinds of things which helps
and yeah, I doubt your attraction to women will disappear with estrogen, even if I think you should be prepared for the possibility of changes to the way you experience that attraction
estrogen made me much less receptive to visuals and more turned on by context, if that makes sense
That makes sense. Thanks