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Those babies are ripped AF
Remember when Christians used to care for the hungry?
Renaissance Artist Draw An Actual Child Challenge: Impossible
“resurrected the pickled children” goes hard.
Resurrected Pickled Children sounds like a good metal band.
gotta love medieval babies with sixpacks
Santa also punched a dude at the Council of Nicea
Is Santa Saint Nicholas of Myra? Because where I live, Nikolaus and Santa are two different entities. One has a bishop’s rod and hands out candy at December 6th, the other drinks coca cola, rides a sleigh and hands out presents at Christmas.
Well they have the same name…
Allegedly struck a guy over an argument about the hierarchy of the godhead. Although this is recognized as apocryphal, not showing up in accounts until hagiographies hundreds of years later.
I think the resurrection thing is probably true, though.
Those children look like very wrong.
The painter had never seen a child, so, I think he did a nice job.
We’ve all read Pet Semetary, right?
Stop looking at their asses
i’m more looking at the chest hair
it’s the back abs, for me
They remind me of Attack on Titan, but miniature.
I hated them tiny ones.
Now I’m thinking of titans the size of these mabies, but with the strength of the titans.
Attack on a bunch of short dudes.
he also got into a fist fight at the nicean council
Whenever he’s brought up I never miss the opportunity to mention that he was from Türkiye
TURKIYE MENTION 🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷
fuck now i want doner
Ok so he just let people starve instead of having them have even three measly pickled children. Fucking priests, the REAL Jesus would have turned those three kids into a pickled feast feeding at least five thousand.
Don’t worry, it’s a made up story anyway
you mean to tell me there wasn’t actually a depickling necromancer roaming the streets?
Who said anything about depickling? Man, having those three kids running around smelling like garlic dills everywhere while everyone is starving… either this guy was trolling the fuck out of all the hungry fucks or just Uber eats?
Now I am imagining an anthropomorphic cucumber going around turning my pickles into seeds and planting them in soil.
That guy exists. His name is Rick.
Never thought I’d see this combination of words in my lifetime
Those are some weird as fuck looking children.
You see, infant mortality was very high, because instead of practicing good hygiene, people practiced pickling babies, and so only the most ripped and strong kids made it to 5.
They were brined.
They got better!
That is what they looked like in the olden days.
In that time the belief was that Jesus was perfect already when he was born, thus he was painted as an adult. This spread to other religious paintings containing children too, thus we have these creepy kids.
One of them has a fucking bald spot. :D
Lol that one has back abs too!
Bro’s roid-routine is all over the place.
I’m chuckling about the pickled children
You would look weird too if you had been through what they had!
I believe they’re called homunculus. I couldn’t find too much on them, but here’s an article. https://www.thecollector.com/baby-jesus-in-medieval-religious-iconography
They weren’t children after all; they were adults and the pickling shrunk them
Pickle Nick!
From the Wikipedia page for Saint Nicholas
Other early stories tell of him calming a storm at sea, saving three innocent soldiers from wrongful execution, and chopping down a tree possessed by a demon.
Which he then turned into a toy car and gave to my kids to play with. Cause I fucking swear my kids are possessed.
Last one is just plot of Samurai Jack.
His necromancer career lacked longevity which is a key metric to determine memory.
An interesting side note I just discovered on Wikipedia:
The boots-filled-over-night tradition is based on another legend of him throwing gold pieces through the window of three poor daughters so that their dad doesn’t have to force them to become prostitutes.
Didn’t expect the roots of St.Nicholas traditions to be that dark…
The brick would weigh like 30kg.
Personally, I’d probably have to hire Anatoly to throw em if I wanted to do that.
I say we all take a leaf out of the conservative playbook and demand to bring back the real Santa.
Not sure about that.
Traditional figures like Zwarte Piet might also reappear…Republicans in the US salivating for traditional celebrations…
