Your letter affected me both unpleasantly and pleasantly (you see, I always move in dialectical contradictions). Unpleasantly, because I know your circumstances and it would be rotten of me if I were to accept such presents at the expense of your family. I therefore regard these £15 as a loan, which I shall in time repay.

What a fucking nerd. “You see, I always move in dialectical contradictions” reads as the most online leftist space sentence I’ve read in historical documents.