For example, if I talk about “magic”, most of you will tell me I’m wrong without even asking me what I mean. You might even insult me.
How common is this? How much of this conversation is actual communication vs just a string of triggering phrases that we react to?
How much of Lemmy is people just barking at their own echo?

Well that’s where actual experience comes in. With the psychedelics, the meditation and noticing the thing. And if you haven’t delved there and noticed the thing, then you haven’t. End of that conversation.
So how about the point in my OP? You got anything to day about that?
In our experience we’ve noticed a thing too. We’ve noticed certain “triggering” phrases never result in a productive conversation, and so we hardly bother with them. Case in point.
Oh touche. You are so defensive it’s a wonder you can draw a breath.
I answered your question. I could likewise frame your unwillingness to elaborate to anyone’s satisfaction what you mean as defensiveness too.