like pp is awful yes, but still somewhat ok, but balls aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa balls aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa balls i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate them

the most sad that im literally cant do orchiectomy in my fucking asshoole, yes some surgeouns do it, but price, travel to another part of putin empire, but okay possible todo, but some surgeouns will require letter which impossible to get, etc etc etc also general anestesia is terrible i want local option, they fucking also not do this to 17yo minor or even 18yo possibly deny

awwwwwwwwa MEOANEORROM im cat, vet pls cut my balls for $50

literally far-rights dont understand our dysphoria the importance of care availbility, does they ban surgeries and thinks we will stop on that? NOOO, im ready todo DIY orchie, only what im need, free time, no people around, sterile environemnt, instruments, medications, surgery ties

like yes my shitsterone suppressed yes but still this feeling of this tumors between legs, literally worse than any cancer

i hate living in this asshole, everyday is becoming worse, internet work terrible(worse every day), the impossibility of social transition
the fucking family which doesnt support really social transition, and the importance of surgeries, im tried request help from rainbow railroad but im think this doesnt work much the amount of shitty social norms in this fcking country not even gender ones

  • AzuraTheSpellkissed@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    11 days ago

    I’m so sorry for you and wish you strength. If it helps, here is a virtual hug: 🫂

    I don’t remember if you’ve written about it in the past, but you’re talking to a medical/psychological professional about this dysphoria, right? What’s their reaction, if so?

    I’m sorry for a low effort tip, but does wearing some comfortable(!) underwear help to focus less on those body parts?

    • erin@quokk.auOP
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      11 days ago

      awppaowpoapoepaowpoa memprmprmrpmrpr, underwear help yes but quite annoying to tuck again after every toilet go

      i need to talk with psych about bottom dysphoria, yes he is supportive, heh im asked him about endocrinologist for hrt he said “sadly cant help there” (because of fcking laws to medical workers), but ok with DIY HRT lol, just says about health monitoring propably need to cencor selfharm thinking because he loves screaming at every suicidal behivation mention

      he says that relocate is pretty possible if make enough effort

      possibly i need to relocate atleast temporary to armenia asap, then would be cool to canada, idk i hate europe mess but also option is germany, im anyway will need armenia as transit country for visa center and airlines, the worst part is money aaaaaaaa

    • erin@quokk.auOP
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      11 days ago

      definitly need to do internet filters again to restrict politics, populism, right wing media, and many more

      independed media doesnt exist, any mass media is manipulation, disortion of facts, etc(funny that is my society teacher did lesson like that, and it isnt was in school program(we know why), she a very progressive, often very accurately critics govrenment, etc)

      need also hug my soft cats more often

      and stabilize my hrt since my estrogen is became pretty weird timing (add progesterone?), possibly increase/replace sertraline

      ignore parents shit, and trying to make them better(its becoming better really)

      some days(is more than bad days hopefully) i feel very very very very good and euphoric, but im also get common cold last days and feel psychically bad, and when im feel ph bad - my dysphoria often increasing, helps to speak with my online friends hehe (hope putin dont shutdown internet)

  • erin@quokk.auOP
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    10 days ago

    UWAAAAAAAAA im found two-three friendly surgeouns in moscow which doing orchi, quite cheap $1100, but unfunny part waiting until 18 but there only a year