Conditional “kindness” isn’t kindness, it’s infantilization.
Real “kindness” is giving people what you can, and trusting them to use it the best they can. No means or ways testing.
This is one reason direct cash transfers are so effective, because cash is no versatile.
This poster is just about sharing divisive bullshit. None of it’s real all of its propaganda designed to get people riled up and mad at each other along class lines. Check their post history it’s all bullshit. It’s like top down meme though control
Thank you for the warning.
So let me share my experience to balance it out: in my village there is a tiny building by the road that used to be a gas station in the 50s/60s.
Today the main road has been diverted so only local traffic is passing by and the station has been closed for decades.
10 years ago a group of people decided to transform the building, they got money from the town for paint and changing the window and now it’s like a little free library but for books, toys and clothes. The whole village is using it.
A lot of it is kid clothing, it’s always open without anyone to supervise it and people are respectful, it stays clean and people don’t storm the place to resell what they can.
This sounds delightful and like a place that isn’t still paying the cost of slavery. Occasionally in areas that are rural enough there will be farm stands where folks pay for items on an honor system. But it’s gotta be pretty far away from the cities. Your town sounds like a place where people respect a basic dignity of folks and we need more of it
How can I apply for citizenship?
Something tells me it’s a bot that reposts popular Reddit memes.
Ok, private
Good, class war is exactly what we should be absolutely be riled up on right now.
The meme does the opposite though. It riles you up against your neighbour and not the oligarchs who created the shitty situation in the first place.
I always struggle with this during garage sales. Most of the time, I don’t even want money for my stuff. I just want it to go to someone who needs it.
But if you put a FREE sign on anything, people will just scoop it up, throw it in a truck already loaded with other free stuff, and take it to the flea market to sell.
It shouldn’t bother me, since the people selling stuff at the flea market usually are pretty poor themselves and probably need to make money. But it just irks me that instead of a mom getting free clothes for her kids, that mom would instead have to buy them at a markup instead.
It irked me the year my neighbors girlfriend got free bikes from the tommy toy fund for her two kids, pregnant with her third. She tried to sell the bikes on FB market place, and the nighbors roommate called her out on it. Idk if she sold them or not but it did upset me when it was happening, to take from your kids like that.
Years later I realized, theyre just poor. She didnt finish High School, came from poverty and sometimes you do not so moral shit to pay your bills. The boyfriend worked at walmart, similar background as his girl, and they probably were trying their best. I cant be mad their parents didnt instill the importance of education, this young couple were just trying to get by. If she wasnt desperate, she would have kept the bikes for her children Id bet.
A very different person, a person of poverty for their whole life said to me once, “you gotta take what you can get”. While they used it as a way to excuse non ethical ways of living, which I didnt agree with, the years have shown me how folks can take this and run with the line of thinking. “Poverty Brain” I call it. Its more sad than infuriating now.
Our society is not built for everyone, and if thats not the human goal, I dont understand why we’re here.
When I was homless a friend gave me a really nice, large heavy blanket that came from her well off mothers house. It was the nicest blanket I ever owned. It got stolen from a laundry mat. I was SO upset, but even then, just hoped, that person needed the blanket more than I did.
there is a solution for that - vibe checks! if that person in front of you seems kind and like they actually need what you’re selling - give it to them for free. but if they’re just looking for deals to resell, keep the prices
This is the kind of means-testing governments do for benefits, right? Or is it more like social profiling? You can sell what you want, but when you start to put rules in place it gets icky quite fast.
i’m not recommending this method to governments though, am i?
i recommend it for people who do garage sales once every few years who feel bad charging people for what they don’t need
Then everyone clapped. Those lousy poors, not understanding the value of expensive footwear. So undignified.
nah this easily could’ve happened. i once had a neighbour of mine 1. ask me if that old basket in the corner of the hallway serving as a bin for spam mail was mine because she wanted to take it 2. ask me to sell her my flat?? in the same 3min conversation? so clearly she could very easily afford her own old basket but no, taking the communal one would be cheaper
a lot of rich people get rich by being scumbags
I’d like to bring attention to the child in this scenario.
How pissed would you be if your neighbor just gave your mom the most kick ass set of Jordan’s youve ever seen, the entire class will be jealous of them
and your mom sells it to buy wheat thins.
You as a child would not understand the need for groceries. all you know is that your mom gave away your one chance at fitting in for wheat thins.
Who would buy “the most kick ass set of Jordans you’ve ever seen” for a boy who is still growing so fast they outgrow the shoes while they’re barely worn?
Wheat Thins? Probably a pack a cigarettes and a scratch lotto ticket.
Don’t be an ass.
She’s trying to resale a spur of the moment gift. She doesn’t sound like someone who’s got things together. Wouldn’t the socially acceptable thing to do would be to decline the gift or accept the shoes and regift them / donate them? Idk the response, “let me get cash for those.” isn’t a great look. That’s why the lady snatched them back.
You ever read that Christmas story about the poor couple that sells things that are important to them to get something nice for the other?
Now imagine selling a random gift to get money to use on commodities like food, rent, or utilities.
We can’t know what that person needed the money for. While overall I agree with the reaction of the poster, I can get off my high horse long enough to acknowledge we don’t know the whole situation or the economic position of the family.
Maybe she would buy smokes, maybe she’d pay rent. We don’t know.
As an anecdote from my childhood, we were poor. My parents often spent what little they had to get nice things for me and my sister. It came at a detriment to our home. We had much of what we wanted, but we lacked what we needed. As an adult now I would invest in the environment first.
The story is O. Henry’s “The Gift of the Magi”
It’s a short one, if you haven’t read it yet.
I’m not arguing the status of the recevier. I’m questioning someone who’s response to a gift is immediately the monetary outcome. Your example was them selling things that were important to them. This person had not even full received the gift and to the face of the person giving the gift, sad something so socially unacceptable the gift was taken back. Do you think the gift would have been taken back if the giver thought the gift would provide a much needed meal? The tone of the tweet would leave anyone to thing the giver didn’t hold a high opion of the other woman if she was willing to take them back.
an important part of the story above is her saying that she intends to sell those immediately
if i got a very expensive gift when i needed money i’d first yk, think about it a bit. most likely i’d feel guilty selling said gift, and i 100% would not brag about it to the person who gave it to me
It’s either greed or desperation. We don’t have the information to know which
He’s not being an ass you are. He’s being realistic to the situation. Just cause you don’t like it doesn’t mean you need to call people an ass.
POOR PEOPLE WOULDN’T BE POOR IF THEY WEREN’T STUPID, LAZY AND ALCOHOLIC, AMIRITE??? STUPID DUMB POOR PEOPLE
My parents were firmly middle class, divorced though.
My mom would absolutely do something like this to be able to buy herself something nice instead.
Eh, I’ve lived in plenty of poor neighborhoods. The lotto tickets basically coat the gas station parking lot like a paper mache.
Of course they do, they are designed to be that way - they are super cheap and sell you a chance for a better life. They are made to exploit people that are permanently stuck in poverty hell and hope is the only thing left.
Once again, blaming the victims and not the oppressor.
Lots of local subreddits have questions like this:
Where can I give my stuff away to some organization or person who will value this stuff more than me who is giving it away ?
Just let your old stuff go. If you want to take profit, take it. If you want to give profit, give it. But trying to do both is a waste of time and an insult.
I think you missed the point. The point isn’t that OP wants to make money.
You also shouldn’t try to control your kindness. If you are giving it away because you hope someone else will find use from it… Then that is the end of your need to control it. They can sell it and use the money to buy shoes and or other things they need or want.
The point is that OP wanted to be kind in a specific way and would rather enrich themselves if it couldn’t be met. Thats not kindness.
I give you a gift; you can do whatever you want. Go home and fuck it or whatever. It’s obvious I have no say in it.
But selling a gift outright right away is insulting. It’s common courtesy, then, to at least hide the fact that you’re going to.
Saying “Oh, I’m selling this” right to my face feels like a giant fuck you to me.
Should’ve just given them directly to the son to wear immediately so he can enjoy them.
I never got the idea that the mom who was to receive the shoes is poor. She lives next door not in another neighbourhood. The only thing was that her son was younger and would maybe like to receive a cool hand me down.
Outside of suburban hell people of vastly different economic situations generally live right near each other.
For instance, next door from me are two dudes who couldn’t afford a fridge for the first couple months they lived here, they work and study, the next neighbor owns the entire building and his own contracting company.
There person in the story could truly be suffering, but it’s sold as “lol Karen got owned”.
People are so obsessed with controlling how gifts are used, it’s wild.
I don’t think saying that it’s rude to immediately turn around and sell, for profit, a gift someone gave to your son equals “obsessed”
The gift was for the kid not the parent.
Maybe the parent wanted to sell the shoes to buy their kid a new, better fitting pair even if they were less expensive?
It would still be rude to say “I’m going to make money off of this” to the gifter’s face.
There’s such a thing as being gracious.
I would probably explain my financial bind and need and ask if it’s ok. Both my parents were a little… mean… but one thing they retained from both sets of grands and greats was, once you give a gift, it’s not yours anymore, and you have zero right to dictate how the recipient utilizes it.
To me, this is just a weird take, like means-testing, and if you make too much or sell food benefits to buy Ziploc or bus fare to work, they penalize you.
The comparison to means testing seems insane to me. It’s not even close to the same thing.
I would probably explain my financial bind and need and ask if it’s ok.
See, I would view this as a gracious way of accepting the gift.
Yes but even so, a gift once given is none of my business. But I’m well aware I think differently than most people.
Eta: because a lot of people are shamed into hiding genuine need.
The scenario is during the act of giving the gift. I think the way it was phrased was rude, not the actual act of reselling the shoes.
Edit:
Eta: because a lot of people are shamed into hiding genuine need.
I absolutely agree with you.
They would have said something more like “oh, maybe I can sell these and get two pairs of <shoe> to last longer.” or “wow, I can sell these and buy some groceries and a pair of <cheaper shoes>.”
Or groceries. Or a birthday gift for the kid.
It’s amazing how much you’re getting downvoted for this!
Lol my instance doesn’t have down votes
what a cray take
checks instance
ok yup instance checks out
Instance racist
this comment thread is funny because .ml sucks
Totally agree, but it’s still cooler than .world
This was posted on shit just works though…
Indeed
No
Yuh huh!
Instcist
Careful how you pronounce that
Maybe the neighbor couldn’t afford groceries.
Maybe the OP couldn’t afford groceries.
Maybe they’re all dinosaurs.
We can make stuff up all day long.
deleted by creator
Then they should be happy that someone else gave a present to their son so they don’t need to buy shoes for them, not talking about selling a present designated for their child…
If you don’t want to accept a present for your child because you think it’s bad then you say that. When a person offers a gift to your child and your immediate response is that you plan on selling it that makes you a dick
Also how is this family both so poor that they need to sell the shoes for groceries but also so selective where they don’t want a practically new pair of popular mainstream shoes
Maybe the moon was her car, and Jupiter was her hairbrush
Is that how you get drops of Jupiter in your hair? I’d been trying to figure it out for years.
You know, you don’t even have to believe in a deity to know that, “as you judge, so shall you be judged.”
Have you ever felt unfairly judged by anyone?
The Duolingo owl.
