Even worse idk much about codeswitching.

I can tell friends who are girls “I love you” and they take it as friendly. But guys can’t hear this without thinking he’s laid claim to a romantic and/or sexual feelings?

If I reject a girl asking me out with the attitude of a bubbly girl talking to another bubbly girl at a party, and say “I have a bf. But you’re a babe!, You can get another babe!” She’d totally be friendly back about it… But once I said this to a guy who asked me out, and he proceeded to ask me for my number 4 times in less than 10 seconds.

Shit like this puts me in fight or flight mode. I have very little awareness of how or why I have to codeswitch between men and women. My skin is crawling nearly everytime a friend points out to me in retrospect that a guy was actually flirting with me after my only intention was being friends or a friendly neighbor. Yikes. I want to go back in time and yell “Fuck you stop being a creep!” (Ofc, they’d be too creepy to understand why I would say that.)

That said, I love my bf because his fem side makes him chill and understanding if a girl talks to him like he’s another girl. I’m pretty quiet and mostly talk to him, and I have no guy friends. So I’m not learning codeswitching skills by watching him. How do you codeswitch and why do you codeswitch in the exact way(s) you do? I barely go outside, and I’m angry at guys everyday over this over past events I’m creeped out by.

    • Midnight_Pearl [any, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
      20·
      2 days ago

      you weren’t answering anything OP was asking about, you were going into a thread about how men treat women, brought that “everyone sucks” thought-terminating mentality, then started talking about an anecdote irrelevant to the post that centers men. that is what’s actually reductive here, and the rest of your unhinged insults toward both myself and others in this thread even more so.

      i don’t feel particularly compelled to have a conversation with someone who was already telling someone shit like “i hope you get banned you absolute wretch” before i even showed up here. i don’t owe you anything more than that “passive-aggressive subtweeting bullshit” because i don’t want to talk to you, and the way you’re responding to me here only reaffirms that decision.

      now leave me alone.

      • BanMeFromPosting [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
        3·
        2 days ago

        you weren’t answering anything OP was asking about

        That you do not appreciate an answer does not make it not an answer

        brought that “everyone sucks” thought-terminating mentality, then started talking about an anecdote irrelevant to the post that centers men

        Incredible to write this drivel and then talk about the other being reductive

        i don’t feel particularly compelled to have a conversation with someone who was already telling someone shit like “i hope you get banned you absolute wretch” before i even showed up here.

        Probably shouldnt talk about them on a public forum then shrug-outta-hecks

        now leave me alone.

        If you do not want to engage there’s several tools available to you. This is just a sad attempt at a micdrop

        • imogen_underscore [it/its, she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
          17·
          2 days ago

          take a day off you should have gone touch grass hours ago when you were first called out for being a shithead please stop doubling down for your own wellbeing if nothing else. this is pure debate pervert behaviour atp

          • BanMeFromPosting [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
            6·
            2 days ago

            take a day off

            First of all fuck off with that paternalistic ableism bullshit. Second of all I’ve just been checking in once in a while, I’ve been off for 8 hours. Just came back from fixing all my tomatoes to give away.

            when you were first called out for being a shithead

            You mean when someone first made up something I didnt say and then started a dogpile?

            stop doubling down for your own wellbeing if nothing else

            Ahhh sweet more demeaning “hey you caring about being called all sorts of shit you aren’t is actually a sign there’s something wrong with you” condescending demeaning ableist bullshit. There’s always someone like you trying to come in with some fucked up mental illness dunk when you can’t handle someone who says anything other than “yes, you are the one true leftist”.

            Debatepervert

            We’re all debateperverts here, the only difference is whether you have decided someone is in the ingroup or outgroup