Half-Life 3 announced. America collapses before its released in 2031
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A republican candidate for the house or state senate in one of the Dakotas will literally kill their opponent with a gun during a debate and get elected.
A truck full of uranium waste will disappear. The story will be covered by all news agencies for exactly one week and then never be mentioned again. In 2025, a dirty bomb will be set off by “Hamas” in a major population center.
An article will come out revealing that Biden’s aides have secretly been testing his food because they’re afraid of Kamala Harris poisoning him. This will not affect Kamala’s approval rating in either direction.
Someone will be murdered by a white women for picking up litter in a Walmart parking lot because her wine friends told her that it was a secret way for pedophile crime rings to pass messages to eachother.
In that same town there will be a single article written about an underage prostitution ring being run by a bunch of retired state troopers for superbowl games. No one will read it.
There will be a massive civil war on twitter over whether or not black people need to “take a break so that we can focus on antisemitism right now.”
Someone will leave cum on Rand Paul’s desk in the senate.
get this poster a lathe!
better lathe than never
there will be more communists this year
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A new world order awaits
Now is the time of monsters.
Irish reunification
Don’t forget the Bell Riots
For everyone scratching their heads…
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Irish_Unification_of_2024
Trumps dies at the debate stage
Biden dies at his funeral
Double K.O.!
Hunter wins!
year of the linux desktop
It already is in my heart.
• Lenin awakens from his century long hibernation
• Alex Jones mocks me by continuing to live
• The unusual amount of Australia-related foreshadowing in my life pays off
AI fake fools a politician who complains on TV -200
Political assassination anywhere in the world +180
Joe Biden dies +150
A VP becomes president +300
Legal battle for whether Israel pledges trump free speech -100
Israel wins the legal battle +400
A fascist doesn’t become president +99999
Bitcoin’s price changes by $40,000 +200
Retail real estate prices collapse +300
Retail real estate gets bailed out +600
Any once in a lifetime economic collapse +200
Any once in a lifetime weather event +200
US involvement in an African military conflict +300
please refrain from using yankkkee odds, thank you
Death to America
i cannot read vegas odds and i refuse to learn.
represent the odds in dollars or else gambling is banned
edit: i will accept fractional odds, begrudgingly
decimal odds are the superior format and i will die on this hill
Death to America
I don’t know how they work outside the UFC and I think I fucked up using Investopedia
Any once in a lifetime weather event +200
There will be a few of these
Converting this to decimal odds like a normal person:
AI fake fools a politician who complains on TV: 1.5
Political assassination anywhere in the world: 2.8
Joe Biden dies: 2.5
A VP becomes president: 4 (why is this less likely than Biden kicking the bucket?)
Legal battle for whether Israel pledges trump free speech: 2
Israel wins the legal battle: 5
A fascist doesn’t become president: 1001
Bitcoin’s price changes by $40,000: 3
Retail real estate prices collapse: 4
Retail real estate gets bailed out: 7
Any once in a lifetime economic collapse: 3
Any once in a lifetime weather event: 3
US involvement in an African military conflict:4
What I should have done for that VP becomes president is Trump wins and then dies for a big 500 odds payout
alongside a sizeable Biden dies at any point this year for a 100 payout (which is on there)
Palestinian cat goes viral. Israel will try desperately to get an Israeli to get back the narrative which completely backfires with every embarrassing attempt.
Ukraine war will spread to Moldova, crashing the economy of the maldives.
Honestly, most westerners would be more outraged at the zionists murdering a Palestinian cat or dog than they get at them murdering a Palestinian child
Yeah but then the IDF will tweet out “dogs are Hamas” and thousands of libs will put their dogs down.
No not the cute puppers :(
Ngl I think this wouldn’t work, whyite people fuckin love dogs. Whiyte people love dogs more than their kids.
Dems successfully prevent trump from being a viable candidate and we get to see Jan 6 again, but probably more protracted and even more disorganized. The sicko in me wants to see what the hogs will do.
The Biden cat is removed from the WH for attacking people.
There will be pictures of Trump’s penis.
Biden falls and is actually hurt.
Zelensky is replaced.
Trump narrowly loses the general election, promises to run again.
Trump’s penis gets leaked, conservative men spend hours making memes out of it convincing themselves their effort were to own the libs
Someone leaks Hunter’s penis pictures in retaliation
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Somehow I completely missed this
It’s like 2023, but worse.
Biden and Trump die on the podium, most likely at the same time
X re-renamed to Twitter
Hillary loses to Trump’s vice president pick
turtles are declared an antisemitic dogwhistle
botched coup attempts
Russia makes small, but noticeable gains against Ukraine by the end of the year.
Sanctions are declared, backfire
German government fails and they have to do early elections, CDU gets into power, SPD becomes their junior partner, afd uses their 20 something percent to get through shitty laws whenever the SPD won’t vote for them
von der Leyen decrees shoot on sight on EU borders, critics will say it doesn’t go far enough
An additional pandemic
More Gazan children are murdered, somebody (most likely Fetterman) explains why that’s a good thing and extremely humanitarian
Vaush explodes and takes out Haz somehow
German government fails and they have to do early elections, CDU gets into power, SPD becomes their junior partner, afd uses their 20 something percent to get through shitty laws whenever the SPD won’t vote for them
The FDP’s vote on the traffic light coalition actually ended with a narrow majority against dissolving the government, so it seems it will not collapse yet. The rest seems about right, except for the assumption the SPD won’t vote for the worst laws “with stomach pains” (as is often mocked).
imagined being named after the most annoying part of transit. I guess spd will be like democrats (TINA for voters)
also don’t underestimate their cravenness, they might still collapse in summer once Merz farts in Scholz’ general direction and fdp chuddies lose it
Well see a coup or attempted coup in a EU member state.
Some German politician thats anti-us gets merced.
The newly created American army bases in Denmark lead to assassination(s) of one or more “left” organizers in Denmark. Also just regular army base bullshit.
A new disease starts spreading among cattle. The farmers resist all attempts at regulation, China is blamed.
I lose weight, but because of something bad happening.
A priceless piece of art is destroyed.
Lynetteholmen leads to drastic dieoff of the recently introduced cod-population in the Baltic.
China produces a blockbuster akin to RRR.
Merger between steam and some other platform.
We’ll start seeing Ukrainian Nazis doing ISIS shit in other European countries.
A priceless piece of art is destroyed
There’s an upcomming British show that’s supposedly bought controversial art and will have the audience decide if it should be burned.
The Milei regime starts murdering protestors.
A western ship is damaged by Ansarallah
At least one high-profile assassination is attempted by Trump supporters.
Supporters of the losing side of the American election refuses to recognise the result.
The winner of the 2024 US presidential election dies before being able to take office.
At least one more member of Lars Løkke Rasmussen’s astroturfed centrist party is forced to resign due to doing something weird, pathetic and/or off-putting.
Lars Løkke Rasmussen himself will be caught red-habded in another corruption scandal, but will not be forced to resign.
The new Danish king, being absolutely dogshit at public speaking, will stumble over his own words and say something incredibly stupid.
At least one coup attempt in Ukraine.
Three or more new sanctions packages against Russia.
Lars Løkke makes me hate the Danish population. “Ej who cares that he embezzled funds? They’re all corrupt liars anyway”.
- THEN DONT FUCKING VOTE FOR THE CORRUPT LIARS.
- LARS LØKKE IS LITERALLY CALLED THE “QUOTA KING” FOR HIS CORRUPTION, its at a wildly different level than the rest of the ghouls assembled in the government. he has countless blatant proven scandals. Even if you say that they all do it, he does it at such a higher frequency and amount that it cannot be hidden
But he’s “the most skillful political craftsman” because he manages to bounce back every time his incompetency and corruption is exposed. And you want to vote for people who argoing to be good at doing the job, right?
HES NOT SKILLFUL THE MEDIA IS JUST SHIT AHHHHHHH
China produces a blockbuster akin to RRR.
Hoping this one comes true. RRR was tight
We’ll start seeing Ukrainian Nazis doing ISIS shit in other European countries.
I hadn’t considered this but honestly seems somewhat likely depending on how things pan out.
This is too real. Get off the Lathe right now.
Somehow Desantis becomes president because the world hates me.
U.K bans all pronouns, accidentally makes entire country legally non-binary.
Hillary Clinton tells centrist republicans to Nintendo Switch 2 voting blue
Another ship gets stuck in a canal
Crash Bandicoot movie voiced by Chris Pratt
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