It seems like the only logical option. If someone paid me to come up with a solution to having poopy butt I couldn’t come up with a better one than a hose or a bidet. You know what I wouldn’t do? I WOULDN’T INVENT PAPER YOU COULD RUB ON YOUR BUTT.
Like every person that has tried a bidet on the internet describes their experience as being reborn. Anyone that tries it instantly becomes a shill for big bidet. I have not seen a single negative review for a bidet aside from maybe water shooting up your back which is more of a skill issue with aiming.
There is some debate to be had between using a bidet versus using a hose. With bidet there’s no hand contact but you can’t control where the water goes. Im personally more in favor of hose since you still gotta flush and handle the bathroom door so there’s gonna be contact either way, but using water is CLEARLY superior to toilet paper.
Water is cheaper and guess what? IT USES LESS CLEAN WATER THAN MAKING TOILET PAPER. That’s right making a single tissue of TP uses more water than just simply washing your butt. You can also shower less frequently because you don’t constantly smell like shit. We are deforesting jungles just to turn them into butt napkins that do not even clean us properly, they just smear the shit all over the crack and make us smell like poop.
Also without TP there’s no longer an issue with assholes flushing their used TP down the toilet and clogging the pipes, houses will no longer get TP’ed, the pandemic scalping situation wouldn’t have happened etc etc. So why are people still hellbent on using this inferior method?
Enjoy your arse hose, francophile.
After I learned to wash my ass I realised it didn’t itch almost ever and then had the horrifying realization
Yep no poopy butt = no itching.
Clean my ass with water?!? Absolutely not. Fish fuck in water.lmao we have an insult for europeans which translates to “butt unwasher” (or کون نشور). y’all have the permission to use it.
Is that Persian or Arabic? And can you transliterate please LMFAO. I love this.
it’s Persian. technically it transliterates to butt unwasher the translation would be “someone that doesn’t wash their butt”.
EDIT: sry i misunderstood it’s koon nashoor or kun nashur.
This is going on some protest signs for sure, thank you comrade
if it gets a quarter popular as cracker then that would be excellent.
Currently reading this with the bidet on and water blasting up my ass as I rock back and forth to get every nook and cranny of my butt
Hell yeah clean ass gang
Rise up!
Hexbear is back
It never left.
Gatorade is more refreshing and hydrating.
id go as far as saying buttholes crave it at this point. they cant just go back to water.
Gatorade tastes so shit it honestly belongs in waste water.
We are simply not civilised enough for that kind of advanced plumbing.
Also, won’t somebody think of the poor landlords who would have to pay for installing the bidets.
In my utopia, there will be no landlords but all the bidet that a comrade could need.
Uh actually we did have bidets in the past so it’s not about why getting them is hard it’s about why the fuck did we stop
the canadian toilet paper lobby has controlled every major political and media figure since 1900 in the west, to ensure the steady consumption of their product. where do these massive profits go? nobody knows, but some suspect the canadians are building a weapon underground in north sasketchewan
I have no idea. But the Chinese don’t either which is an uncommon L for them. Some places do have a Japanese style toilet but in my opinion they suck. The pinnacle of anus cleaning technology is the bum gun, used throughout South east Asia
Usa
chinaHaving doodoo asses
Chinese don’t either
I didn’t know about that. I change my mind the PRC are the bad guys now.
People’s Repooplic of Crap
We need another cultural revolution
Neither Washingnot Nor Pooking
This comment is genius I will write this on my bum gun.
GOOD poost
One of the first Muslims to venture into China in the 700s said the Chinese were disgusting because they didn’t wash up after defecating and instead rubbed paper on their butts.
Rare Japanese W compared to China
Generally hygiene is taught by your mom/dad or primary caretaker and somewhat by your primary school. So if no one ever mentions that to you, you’re probably not going to think about it, and even hearing about it is going to seem somewhat alien.
Generally hygiene is taught by your mom/dad or primary caretaker
It reminds me of the poop knife. Now I wonder what poop knife habits I have that no one else does.
exactly… i’ve wondered the same… but afaik I don’t have any
I personally just shit into my hand and cram it into my eurethra
Not my comrade.
eurethraThe poopy poo has got to go somewhere
I just gotta say I’m really confused by the “you don’t need TP” angle of bidet shilling, like I am a bidet user and a bidet shill but I still have to use several pieces of multi-ply TP to dry off down there, and sometimes need to wipe extra to get what the bidet missed despite my 30 seconds of ass-wriggling.
I’ve been in the bidet gang for 13 years, but I do not understand the no-tp bidet people.
Not only for drying after, but I usually use tp before the bidet as well. If I don’t, I’m blasting poo everywhere in my crotch area.
hey, same! I like to do a quick preliminary wipe, water gun fun times, then dry off + wipe up anything the bidet missed. I definitely use less TP this way, but usage doesn’t just drop to zero.
sometimes need to wipe extra to get what the bidet missed
That’s why I prefer bidet shower that way it doesn’t miss. If you are using the bidet to only wash your asshole then there’s no need for drying but I understand that people may want to dry. This is more of an anti-wiping post rather than anti-TP post I think I lost the plot after the second sentence but we can live in a world where the majority wash their ass and there’s still TP left for people that really want it.
comrade, if you’re just washing your anus and nowhere else with the bidet, then proceeding to not wipe at all, congratulations, you’ve simply relocated some of the shit to other parts of your crack.
I’ll make sure that the area is clean then wait a little bit so that it drys out then leave. If I could somehow pin point target the water straight into my anus and nowhere else I might as well go get an enema.
but like… why not do a quick wipe to get the residual shit? bidet alone is almost as gross as wiping alone, imo.
There isn’t usually any residual shit left but you can still wipe if you want it’ll still use way less TP than wiping.
I think they mean shit-water gets everywhere
Different per bidet and person but in my experience it doesn’t.
WASH IT!
Better question: Why don’t we wash water with asshole?
They do actually all sewage treatment plants have filters that contain millions of tiny assholes.
