Post your self crits. They can political or personal or perhaps even both.
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I have a persisting fear that I’m constantly disappointing and failing everyone who cares about me and it’s a mentality that’s a slog to fight against
Honestly same.i think everyone craves validation on some level or another.
- Not good enough about COVID
- Not yet fully vegan
- Mi estas eterna komencanto
- Not good enough about Deaf issues
- Holy shit I need to just switch to Linux already
- I have several BFRBs and other “bad habits” I need to get under control
- I need to stand up for myself more
- Yadda yadda yadda
I’m with ya on a bunchof those, and even the ones I don’t are mostly “N/A” rather than “nah, I got that covered”. Also, TIL the term BFRB: my particular ones are biting my fingers and the insides of my cheeks/lips (had to stop myself from doing the latter while writing this comment).
I’m hoping Windows 11 will finally be the thing that pushes me onto Linux. I’m 100% gonna move my mom to Linux first, and that should help me a bit in terms of testing out distros and stuff.
I think the #1 most debilitating thing I’m struggling with is waking up every day going, "Today’s the day I work on something challenging but rewarding (whether that be music, coding projects, electronics, or learning Japanese) and then instead spending nearly all of my free time doomscrolling.
edit: oh, also gender stuff, which I mostly just try not to think about because it’s too overwhelming
Lol I’ve got quite a few of those myself, comrade. I still use Google suite for everything, I just have nothing interesting about me that I need opsec for. Which I guess is something else to work on.
Trying to fix my shit so I can at some point put myself out there and try dating again. So far all of my attempts have been miserable failures. Doesn’t help I lost close to a decade to depression so I feel behind everyone my age (no degree, no career, dead-end job, no romantic experiences, etc).
It also doesn’t help that I can’t help but think that I would be inflicting myself on someone and making my problems theirs. I’m trying to reform myself into someone I’d want to be with but digging myself out of years of mental illness and grief has been a struggle.
Drinking too much.
Not exercising enough.
Forgetting to follow through on things I agreed to do.
This general feeling that I’m being “judged” by the people around me which stops me from doing activities, even ones I won’t actually be judged for at all
It is impossible to kill all the brain worms. I can ignore them. I can work hard to check myself on them. I can go out of my way to correct myself and work on myself and minimize it even fully remove all the negative impacts they may have on myself and my community. But they’re still there and I wish there was a way to fully burn them out.
They’re just too ingrained and society reinforces them daily.
I will never stop trying though. It’s all I can do. It’s all any of us can do, I think. Unless someone knows the secret to instantly removing all the wrong things society puts into our heads I’ll go for second best thing which is a lifetime of concerted effort.
I didn’t become a Marxist until I was almost 30, and there is still of course constant anti-communism everywhere. We are fighting decades of brainworms sometimes, and we are also fighting daily negative reinforcement.
Stereotypical cis male moment, but I need to talk about feelings more. I’ve come long strides and can talk to my partner about things, but she called me out about not checking in with my male friends about their stuff going on. This also applies to my relationship, considering her needs more intuitively.
It’s hard because outside of just the general de-patriarching my brain, I feel I’m kinda a self centered person. My partner instinctively thinks about others first and I have to constantly remind myself not to make selfish choices.
Learned a childhood friend caught a 9mm yesterday in the temple so burial stuff ig
I am getting drunk n high about this n need to catch myself by tomorrow about this, new gf I moved in with understands n is letting me get drunk n crashout. Then I’m sending her like all my money so I don’t buy a federal amount of drugs
I have fatphobic thoughts, and sometimes stereotype fat people. I’m trying to work on it, but it’s hard stopping a particular pattern of thinking. I logically know what’s wrong with that, and I don’t believe I’ve actually acted on those thoughts, but it still is something I need to work on.
The internalized bigotry still lingers.
I feel like my biggest bit of bullshit is that I’m still struggling with alcohol on a daily basis. I’m surrounded by it every single day and it has this insidious way of worming itself back into my daily life despite numerous attempts to stop. I’ll be good for weeks or months at a time until one day I look at a bottle weird and suddenly decide “fuck it, I want to be drunk” and then 4 quick shots later I’ve fallen off the wagon yet again. I’m sure there’s way more but it’s not often I post literally mid relapse
Fuck that sucks. I know there’s a lotta bullshit with traditional AA, but I hope you have someone you can lean on to get you through it. Relapsing is part of recovery, I know you can get thru it.
The thing is I don’t feel like I’m depressed or am losing control or anything. I’m just so fucking bored all of the time. It’s like my inner boredom gets so great that getting drunk is better than nothing at least.
This is me with weed :/
i feel socially/romantically stunted for my age (20). i was mostly homeschooled and didn’t participate in any clubs/groups outside of church and have never dated. i’m not depressed or anything about it but i know humans aren’t meant to live alone
What do people owe each other as part of living in a society? When you become friends with someone, are you opting into owing that person more than what you owe everyone else? Intuition tells me the answers here are “Respect and dignity” and “Yes” respectively, but I suspect these views aren’t as common as I was led to believe.
I’ve spent around a decade following just about any avenue to self-improvement, with the goal of reclaiming all I lost in the destructive years. Rebuilding the connections I lost is the hardest part. If redemption isn’t possible, then what’s the point of seeking improvement? And if I can’t have those friendships back, how do I go about forging something like them?
I got to imagine a big part of self improvement is being less wrong and being less wrong would probably lead to more enriching relationships and activities than if you say around in old, destructive habits while pushing everyone away with your shitty decision making
Exactly. If you want to be liked, you have to make an effort to be likeable.
I guess the trick about changing your behavior is that people don’t see things you aren’t doing anymore. But they’re also keeping an eye out for it, so anything you do that bears even a passing resemblance is conflated with destructive behavior.
Becoming friends means you owe them: a link to something funny you saw on the internet, Active listening, and an excuse to leave the house sometime
God what I wouldn’t give for friends who could offer even that.
Just decided yesterday that I’m back on tackling my eating disorder again. Surely this time. Maybe ACTUALLY this time though, it’s so isolating and I’m so fucking over the way it limits my ability to touch grass which is definitely a different feeling to the other times.
Need to get out of my writing rut. And my reading rut. And my socializing rut.
And probably actually roll a die on whether or not I should buy a sabre
Buy the sabre. I assume we’re talking about a type of sword and not something else by that name.
You should definitely buy a sabre, how else are you going to get one? pickpocket a hussar? be realistic.
Figuring out how to use Obsidian to thoroughly organize the notes that I take and never ever use. My ADHD really needs to hand over the reins of my brain to my autism. It’s a much nicer and gentler side of my personality.
There are two wolves inside your brain.
and they’re both neurospicy
I started using it about a year ago and now idk what I would do without it tbh. It’s great to have all information I want to keep somewhere accessible. Like a personal Wikipedia
Whenever I google tips/ideas about using it though it’s mostly quite annoying people that use it haha (like weird tech bros). Still a wicked useful tool though
Whenever I google tips/ideas about using it though it’s mostly quite annoying people that use it haha (like weird tech bros). Still a wicked useful tool though
Goddamn yes, it’s like there’s two types of people who make videos on Obsidian: it’s either productivity freaks who put me off or programmers who are way more tech-savvy than me. I’ve spent the past few days doing a bit of a back and forth with Deepseek to filter out all the noise and redundancy of having fifteen different 30-minute videos talking about the same thing. It’s just too much information, and lots of it extremely complex and daunting to a newcomer like me. But yeah, Obsidian seems like it’s worth all the trouble I’m going through to figure out my workflow with it.
