He isn’t even homeless. He lives in an RV or something in his girlfriend’s mom’s driveway and does nothing but smoke fetty and suck all the air out of this community, making it harder for people like me who actually fucking need money. And he sends his girlfriend out to collect recycling and panhandle all night, alone. He’s an absolute piece of shit to her. He is an absolute piece of shit. Stop sending him money.
It makes me so fucking angry how I have to beg and plead to get sent anything, while he’s apparently getting sent hundreds of dollars. I remember once one of his posts was even pinned for a while. What the fuck?
P.S. Technically BaileyDee is his girlfriend’s account, but of course he doesn’t let her use it. You can tell it’s him posting.
If you have any evidence to your claims, then send it to the mod team. That way we can avoid doxxing people’s sensitive information. We can’t just take you at your word when it can mean the difference between someone starving or not.
And if he’s actually sending Bailey out by herself to panhandle at night, that’s still indicative of financial distress. It also implies that there may be some domestic problems in their relationship which we are not equipped to address here.
Look elsewhere in this thread; BaileyDee’s behavior has been scammy in a variety of ways (the supposed hypoglycemia, it seems to me, is a way to create false urgency and get people not to consider things before sending money).
I have a friend who is a medical doctor, who does not believe this person’s story–simply going to a hospital would be enough to take care of the issue for weeks, he said, because the hospital would be legally obligated to patch them up (unless they’re diabetic, which you’ll note that they have never once claimed to be). Failing that, walking into any fast-food restaurant and taking some ketchup packets would do the trick.
It has been bothering me greatly for some time to see what seems like a fairly obvious scam hoodwink numerous goodhearted people here, and I am grateful that someone finally had the guts to point it out (I have been trying to convince my doctor friend to make a throwaway account on here to address the claims made more thoroughly, but he’s been too busy to do so).
I don’t know what the hell constitutes proof here. I know him IRL, we are part of the same social milieu and I know this information first-hand. The exact how and why and such, I can’t go into detail about because of reasons (very serious reasons).
And if he’s actually sending Bailey out by herself to panhandle at night, that’s still indicative of financial distress.
Yeah, he’s buying fentanyl.
Do you think having a drug addiction disqualifies you from receiving mutual aid? Attacking someone’s credibility over that is pretty fucked up, especially considering your own history. I tried to stop people from saying heinous shit like “they’re sucking all the air out of the community” about you when you were struggling with addiction and here you are saying just that about someone else.
Poverty is a disease and pushes people to drugs as a coping mechanism. You should know that better than most.
And if he is forcing Bailey to do that shit, then instead of attempting to cut off her source of mutual aid you should be trying to help her escape from an exploitative relationship instead of trying to sabotage someone’s form of assistance because you feel like you deserve that aid more.
To be clear I have no problem with him using mutual aid money to buy drugs. I’m certainly in no place to judge.
I’ve always emphasized the mutual in mutual aid. People who post across our forums, I recognize them as not just charity cases but one of our number. Even someone like Mahmoud has done an AMA and come back to post. So in my book you don’t have much to worry about.
Also I would be careful of leveling the accusation of “sucking the air out of the community”. You’ve been on the other side of that. I’ve noticed suspicious patterns in the accused account, which is usually a need that can be met with $0.25 a day, and little if any posting otherwise (see previous paragraph). So consider it not something that would pull the resources of a contributor like me.
BTW I still owe you a square Chinese takeout meal (which I have no hangups around because I’m employed again), PM me when you particularly need it.
I’ve always emphasized the *mutual* in mutual aid. People who post across our forums, I recognize them as not just charity cases but one of our number. Even someone like Mahmoud has done an AMA and come back to post. So in my book you don’t have much to worry about.
I feel shitty for how as of late I’ve posted little else but mutual aid requests. Life has been…blah.
I brought up some issues with them with the mods recently, but didn’t feel comfortable naming names, I didn’t want to assume too much, but if other people are coming forward with issues about them, I’ll share what I said then here. They have messaged me on paypal asking for money after I explicitly asked them to not message me directly like that, ignoring my boundaries. Additionally, a few hours after I had sent them money to deal with their issues, they made a post here asking for help for the same issue I just sent them money to fix.
I’ve been trying to just chalk this up to communication issues and them being in a desperate situation, but something about the way they ask for money here has rubbed me the wrong way. Sorry if this comment breaks the rules, but if others have problems with them, I think it is important to discuss this as a community. Mutual aid groups can be destroyed by refusing to address and discuss situations like this.
They asked for more (over double what I gave) money the day after I gave some. Like I do what I can when I find a tiny bit of cash to spare but things like this make me think I’ll just go back to cooking and distributing meals to the unhoused locally. At least then I can be pretty certain the person is really in need. Fucking sucks eroding trust like that.
Yeah. It sucks, and erodes trust in the mutual aid network as a whole when people do things like that. I try to remember that just because one person is trying to exploit other people’s empathy, doesn’t mean everyone else in the network is. Though stuff like this can absolutely make people just leave a mutual group entirely.
They also sent me another request for money directly overnight. While all this has been happening, with the exact same message as last time. No reaction to what I’ve posted about them here. So either they haven’t seen this discussion at all, or they think they can just ignore it. I don’t want to start throwing more direct insults around.
But my opinion has shifted from “they should explain themselves” to “They’re lazily using a claimed medical emergency to bilk money out of people.” Every other “frequent flyer” poster here is giving us updates and asking for specifics, sometimes even “selfish” stuff (though self-care isn’t selfish.) it feels like a snapshot into a person’s life. But this account has always been having the same medical emergency every time. And the fact that they continue to need “food money” hours after people have actively given them that money, makes me think they are just scamming the mutual aid network.
It is ultimately the mod’s decision, but in my opinion, if this person is allowed to keep doing this, they will end up destroying the mutual aid comm.
I also reported what I believed to be an alt account for baileydee and to my knowledge nothing happened
There’s not much the mods can do really, a false accusation could literally ruin someone’s life (imagine if you needed support but were accidentally accused of scamming), so I don’t blame them for being overly cautious and not taking action. All we can do is share our information and evidence and then come to a conclusion. This should be a discussion, not a witch hunt (not accusing you of trying to start one, I just think it is important to keep in mind).
Yeah, in the report I said I didnt want either account banned I just wanted them to talk to the accounts about the importance of trust
Me too lol. It’s a rough situation, it’s hard enough in person in a mutual aid group, but online all we have to go off of is text, so it’s important to not assume the worst of someone.
Honestly at this point I only donate to people in person or the Gaza fundraisers, I don’t have a ton to spare and dont want to get jaded from repeatedly getting scammed
It sucks because there’s so many people on here who genuinely need help :/
It’s the classic conundrum that you see with real life direct assistance. Get your wallet out and suddenly three very well built men are surrounding you against a wall. Or maybe you get shit thrown at you by the mentally ill. Or get a knife pulled on you. I don’t even give a shit what they use the money for but I’m not risking my safety to do it.
And I know that sounds incredibly liberal but this is my lived experience, not some scaremonger suburban fear. I live in a bad neighborhood where homeless folks get stabbed for fun and OD on the sidewalk at noon.
It’s why donating directly to aid groups and vetted charities will help the most people and stretch your dollar the furthest.
However, that doesn’t mean I advocate for ignoring mutual aid entirely. This community is definitely a lifeline for many. I think setting a firm aid budget within your financial means and diversifying who you send it to might be a good strategy. Maybe a burner account so you can throw away a PayPal account, etc. at any time if needed.
Thank you for making this post, is this a new development with those users (or user if its just the one using 2 accounts?)
You previously vouched for kody multiple times which is why I donated to them in the first place https://hexbear.net/comment/4985867
I regret doing so. I’m sorry.
ooooh at first I thought this might be against rule 5 but as written that only applies to comments
Additionally: If you wish to […] hold another user accountable, then please make a separate post in this community, but do not ping them, or specifically claim that one user is an alt for another user.
Looks like it’s legal.
Unless the parliamentarian says otherwise
If someone is scamming, that’s really upsetting I don’t support that at all. But I’d rather focus on helping those who are truly in need than spreading hate. Let’s keep supporting each other.
So in other words ignore the problem and let it keep happening?
There’s a big difference between ignoring a problem and discussing it and bringing information to light. Like I said below, we shouldn’t start witch hunts, because that only ends up hurting mutual aid groups. But that doesn’t mean the problem is being ignored. You bringing it to everyone’s attention will help a lot, and if they are just scamming people, and get a reputation as a scammer here, they’ll slink away to try and exploit someone else, like scammers always do.
