I have a pretty common name. A Google search of it reveals all sorts of crimes.
So now open communication is a bad thing!? I swear I can’t win.
Meanwhile after his release, Luigi will be absolutely swimming in pussay
Yeah cause he’s an innocent hunk who never murdered anyone
Pussay and dick
He might even get murdered (drowned) in pussy. Wouldn’t that be ironic?
Yeah it sucks you on like a vacuum
So honesty is very important to him
It’s a keeper.
Was it felony murder or real murder tho?
I just learned about that bullshit and what the fuck, you US citizens really got a lot of bullshit ways to raise your numbers of legal slaves.
I agree with it as a concept. If you and 3 buddies go to rob a bank armed and someone dies as a result of that you’re just as responsible as the one that pulled the trigger
But like all laws in America it is then interpreted in the most insane ways possible and then used more frequently against minorities.
The land of the free, also also the largest prison population in the world.
the concept is okay, even good, I would say. if somebody does as a direct consequence of your actions, well, you murdered them — but that requires some nuance and work to determine how “direct”.
but the implementation, oh boy, that’s classic police state america
Thats called manslaughter
nah that’s separate, more like negligence
difference being (as I understand it) that manslaughter is negligence outside of criminal actions, and felony murder is manslaughter while committing a crime
Distinction without a difference
I assume you also watched last week’s Last Week Tonight?
And yeah, we get fucked by the system 8 ways to Sunday.
Yep. And I was absolutely unsurprised about the racism as well. Because of course black people get screwed over the most.
USian here and I remember knowing about this for most of my life, but I never looked into its origins. I still haven’t, and right now I don’t care to.
But holy shit does it feel like racism must have played a role.
edit to add: I ALSO remember on and after the Jan 6 insurriot how it seemed like hundreds of those people should be going down for felony murder. Funny how that didn’t happen.
Explain please?
You and your friends are running a marijuana grow op. The police break down the door. One of them sees your friend reaching for something (their phone) and shoots them dead. That person died in the commission of a felony (marijuana growing) that you were part of. You can now face life imprisonment for felony murder. In some states, this can actually happen.
So, me? Not the officer (assuming he wasn’t reaching for a gun)?
Yes, you will be the one charged. Someone died while you were committing a felony (growing marijuana.) The police can literally shoot your friend and then charge you with felony murder for their death.
IIRC there’s some situations where you’re considered responsible if anybody dies. So if you break into a house to steal something and the homeowner hears you, runs down the stairs, trips and breaks their neck it counts as if you murdered them.
It gets worse. One guy went to prison for felony murder because the police shot and killed his fellow burglar. Another got a life sentence without parole for lending his car keys to his roommate, who then used the car to commit a burglary where someone was killed. John Oliver did a segment on this not too long ago.
And this is why you never never never snitch.
It’s like firing a cannon into a crowded building. Maybe it hits the person you’re aiming at, but how much collateral damage will you do?
What. The. Fuck. I’m literally speechless.
That sounds reasonable to me. They took a criminal action that resulted in a death. It was their commission of the crime that killed that person.
Well, no, because murder isn’t just killing someone. It’s the motives and circumstances around the death. That’s why murder, manslaughter, reckless endangerment causing death, etc are all separate crimes.
This is not a compelling argument. Each of the types of charges you can recieve for killing a person is defined by the law. The federal government and the majority of state governments have passed laws defining what constitutes felony murder. Juat like they codified laws defining manslaughter and first degree murder.
Yes, and the disconnect between what they wrote into law and what people consider to be real is why people are asking if it was felony murder or real murder. Because there’s a reason why we made all those different charges, and writing down that littering is now felony murder doesn’t make it real.
writing down that littering is now felony murder doesn’t make it real.
Well if we’re just saying nonsense I don’t see why it can’t make it real. Especially considering it is real, codified into law, and often used. That sounds very real
Which definitely shouldn’t be murder, but manslaughter makes sense. Your unethical actions non-deliberately caused someone’s death
Isn’t that textbook definition of (negligent) manslaughter in civilised countries? You did something that resulted in the death of someone, but it was not your intention to do so and it you could not reasonably assume that your actions would kill someone?
isn’t the difference here supposed to be the level of danger/lethality/intent?
like if you burn someone’s house down with them inside, vs quietly breaking in to steal shit. if you burn down a house that probably has people in it, that’s murder even if it wasn’t 100% intentional, you should have known that was a likely outcome
Yeah, that kind of manslaughter shouldn’t get you grounded on Tinder! Especially if it is only a small rubbery.
The most recent episode of Last Week Tonight talks about it https://youtu.be/Y93ljB7sfco
fellatio murder!?
isnt the dude not being a murderer a bit much to ask for in 2025?
It might even work against her odds, because if you are a good looking murderer, you will get a lot of fan mail in prison from people who can’t wait to meet you 😍
“Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile”
It has to be a crime for it to be murder
Otherwise its just sparkling allegations.
Theyre gonna lock me up for womenslaughter the way I’m slaying that thang
If it’s a common enough name combo, always double check.
My dead name was a very common one. The amount of random news articles that would pop up. I don’t think I ever found a murderer, but a number of other crimes did pop up.
My family name is pretty uncommon outside of mexico and when you googled my dads name the top result used to he an obituary of another man with the same name, birthday, same KIDS name, same time served in the army, and same job as a truck driver.
Only difference is he was from southern California.
Also turns out we were kin as my great grand father was addicted to traveling the country and making babies.
I have an uncommon birth name. My only known name doppelganger has a high prestige job and has started over taking me in search results. I’m happy to finally be a bit less Google-able.
I got one like that too. First and last name the same. He even runs a website with the full name as address. What a blessing.
deleted by creator
Well at least he’s honest
You commit one murder and the dating scene won’t let you live it down
My grandparent’s neighbor and friend was a murderer. Really nice guy. Us kids used to call him Santa because of his long grey beard. I mean, he likely wasn’t nice when he committed murder, but I’m guessing he aged-out of his violent tendencies.
What was his motive?
He killed his ex for being obsessed with his past.
I can fix him.
Honey, you Gotta get better at spotting cameras. But thats for later. Plastic sheeting first.
I mean, is this really completely a bad thing? Having a partner that knows how to get business done could have its perks. Though perhaps it would be better to date a murderer that hadn’t gotten caught. If you’re going to partner up with a killer, at least make it a good one.
I worked a couple decades ago with a guy in his 50’s who was legit, by his parents, named “Dale Gribble”
Names are used by many people
There’s a successful musician with my name, makes me delightfully Google proof.
I imagine that might be handy if you’re trying to book something somewhere. Assuming the musician is still alive, of course.
How often do you get disappointed stares when you show up somewhere?
I share my name with a famous referee. I’ve had people try and talk to me about that sport when I’m very clearly not said individual.
THAT explains the disappointed stares! You’ve brightened my day.
He specifically asked to ignore that
So. Did you ignore it?














