I would like to really strongly discourage you from taking the “meeting someone else” advice. It’s very bad advice because it’s an unhealthy way to emotionally/socially orient yourself and can put you in an awful situation that leaves you much worse off in the long run.

I think friends, family (if applicable), and hobbies are the way to go until you stop reeling (which may take a while).

Your world is collapsing emotionally. You can’t logic your way through emotional turmoil. Prepare to be a wreck, cry a lot, be miserable, eat some comfort food, and strap in. It’s closer to getting over a fever than it is a problem to solve.

You want the equivalent of hot honey ginger tea? Try Elliott Smith, it’s the closest thing you’ll get in this life.

I’m old and polyamorous so I’ve been through a lot of breakups. They all suck. All of them. Every single time. I’m not over all of them either. Some of them will, I suspect, hurt for the rest of my life.

So that’s the honest part of the pain. It sucks and I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this.

The good news though is it gets better. It hurts less eventually, even if it doesn’t feel like it will. Sometimes that hurt is replaced with fond memories. Enjoyable moments that you can look back on, through the hurt, to times when that relationship was good. Things that made you feel like yeah, I was here. I lived. I mattered. Sometimes it’s just replaced with anger and you really never understand any of it. That’s okay too.

So how do you get there? Time and letting yourself feel what you feel. It’s okay to feel hurt. It’s okay to cry or yell or cope however you gotta. As long as you need to. And then you gotta take those feelings and set them aside for a bit and move forward. Do something you enjoy for yourself, a hobby or a walk or a food or a phone call with a friend or literally whatever you like. And then do the things you gotta do to live…shower or do laundry or work or whatever the things you gotta do to live are. And just go through that cycle. Feel until you don’t wanna anymore, and then do something for yourself that reminds you why you’re here, and then do something that you gotta do. Pick yourself up even if you don’t want to. It’s not about some distant future where maybe things get better. It’s about right now, doing what you can to find moments to enjoy every single day.

I’m no therapist or anything but this works for me and it works for the people I know that have experienced loss too. It’s okay to feel so don’t let anyone tell you not to. But you also gotta take care of yourself too. Feel and then be kind to yourself.

And I think what you’ll find is that feeling part gets easier, or shorter, or takes longer to come on the next time and the time after that. The moments of joy come easier and the moments of sadness become old friends. It gets easier. But it takes time.

So take your time. Don’t rush through the grief. But take care of yourself too while you do, because you matter too.

i’m sorry, that must be so hard. it’s definitely not easy to go through. I don’t really have any advice except to take care of yourself and maybe try to do things that you like to do that might help take your mind off of it.

Make a list of everything you liked about that person and realize that you can get that in someone else. Keep reviewing it until you firmly believe it. This technique really helps me de-idolize and move on.

clearly something she had in her mind for a while but she even told me she loved me 2 days before she broke up

Try not to dwell on this too much. Often times people aren’t sure if they’re sure of something and will try to power through or ignore something that will obviously cause a shakeup of normal life.

At the very least it would have been an attempt to not hurt you before the person felt it was the right time to bring it up.

Just gonna echo the sentiment that loss hurts, and time softens the edges.

There’s not really anything to do - our hearts break, the sun rises, breakfast needs making. Stuff it going to be harder for a while, little things might set you off. All I would really say is avoid ruminating, there’s no realisation you can have or analysis to complete that will make it not hurt.

To that end, try spend some time on things that keep you occupied enough to avoid spiraling that leave room to process and feel.

The cruelest and kindest thing is that no loss is so great that time won’t help.

Never date anyone .

On a more serious note, the same way you deal with a loved one’s death

Try not to think too much about she said this recently or was planning that recently. Basically just because you will drive yourself mad trying to understand what’s going on in someone else’s brain and you will never know what’s in someone else’s brain

The only thing that’ll make it feel better is time. And don’t put any expectations on yourself like “it’s been 3 months I should feel better by now”. It takes as long as it takes and sometimes that’s a long ass time. Especially if this person was a daily staple in your life

Playing Disco Elysium

The things that made the difference for me: Talking to friends, talking to new (platonic) people, and time.

Talk to peeps, your friends, talk to your family, talking here is cool too, any relaxed human connections rules for this kinda thing. And beyond that… one does just need be patient, don’t feel time-pressured. Sometimes it can take years before you stop feeling awful about it, sometimes its a few months. But take time.

time and meeting someone else. loss always hurts.

how long were you together? Cause using whatsapp to do it is pretty cowardly unless youve been together like a week. was it long distance? I don’t understand “was putting to much pressure on her to meet in person when she couldn’t” unless it was long distance.

its just one person oh well, there’s plenty of fish in the sea