Hi friends. Is it fucked up to flirt with someone with no intention of taking it further? I’m in a long-term monogamous relationship. Sometimes I crave a little validation from strangers. I’m not going to cheat on my partner, but I do have a need to feel desirable to others. I don’t feel like a bit of flirting is a betrayal of my relationship, but I’m less confident about how other people feel. Like, I don’t want to waste someone else’s time, but I guess maybe I am leading people on a bit if I chat with them without mentioning my partner.
If an omission would change someone else’s behavior, it seems deceptive.
What does that even mean?
I’m assuming you are referring to OP saying
What all of a person’s life story must they share and not “omit” before they should be given the green light to flirt with someone? There is all sorts of information that literally anyone would leave out of a conversation with a stranger (or even not a stranger) that would change the nature of the conversation. Omission is not deception.
Also, OP says they are up front about their relationship if it comes up and they wear a ring to indicate that status. They are not even omitting the information you seem to think they’re obligated to share.
Check time stamps, OP only mentioned wearing a ring and being upfront after I posted.
From the information available in the thread at the time of my comment I was getting a really bad vibe about someone intentionally omitting pertinent information so they could manipulate people into behaving in a certain way for their own entertainment; a lot of people wouldn’t feel comfortable being on the other side of flirting with someone in a relationship and I was worried. That’s clearly not the case with the additional information posted, they’re just having fun and it’s fine.
But it’s valid if someone doesn’t feel comfortable flirting with another person who is already in a relationship and omission would be hurtful. A long-term committed relationship isn’t some trivial thing, that’s a very important piece of information for a lot of people. Some of us would be reliving trauma if this kind of play was just dumped on us with no warning. Being open and upfront is 100% the way to go with this and OP is totally fine.