Hi friends. Is it fucked up to flirt with someone with no intention of taking it further? I’m in a long-term monogamous relationship. Sometimes I crave a little validation from strangers. I’m not going to cheat on my partner, but I do have a need to feel desirable to others. I don’t feel like a bit of flirting is a betrayal of my relationship, but I’m less confident about how other people feel. Like, I don’t want to waste someone else’s time, but I guess maybe I am leading people on a bit if I chat with them without mentioning my partner.
Pretending to like somebody to bully them is an entirely different thing than casually flirting with somebody for validation. You cannot treat everybody who does not follow your excruciating script that they cannot possibly know about as your schoolyard bully. This is automatically misjudging them. Grown up people do not usually act like teenagers and when you pretend we do, you will keep having interactions like this one because you misjudge everybody around you.
they’re both using another person to feel better about yourself. again, literally as OP describes.
all i’m asking is people don’t act completely indistinguishably from somebody who might be interested when they aren’t.
Incredibly uncharitable reading, given that you equate a simple misunderstanding about the most trivial bs with deliberate intent of hurting and traumatizing somebody.
did you read OP’s other comments? what they describe wanting is an ego boost gained by initiating flirting only interested in that boost. it’s not targeted abuse but it is using someone.
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