Poor performance, not hitting any KPI’s this quarter we’re gonna have to circle back offline and create a slide deck to share with senior stakeholders explaining why we haven’t met our targets and why our NPS score is in the toilet.
This isn’t a good look for our team and as a result we will have more team building exercises as punishment.
Check your diaries I’ve booked a 10 hour retro with no breaks so we can go over what we can improve for the next quarter where ill take no actions on anything discussed and put tickets in our backlog for the next quarter for the next planning meeting. I dont want to hear any complaints about not being provided a keyboard reduces output we dont have budget for keyboards.
Dort_Owl is being put on a performance plan.
I’ve taken the privilege of setting you all development goals on how we can use AI to increase badposting output I expect 10x posters to become 100x posters we need to ship or I’ll have you all replaced with offshore hamsters
I took a shit in the office soap dispenser
If you can provide a slide deck on how this improves team performance i’ll let you off
Whatever i don’t even work here i just post for the love of the game
If you like this post you’re self reporting as a PMC
Hey man I’ve been calling out goodposts in c/badposting for years, so if you go after me it’s retaliation!
Call it a 2at3
Dort_Owl is being put on a performance plan.
Look, when you hired me I told you I was a lazy good for nothing and you said it wouldn’t be a problem. Also you’ve yet to match what the Cuteposting comm is paying me and frankly they’re offering better healthcare
Lets pick this up in our next one to one. Your contract stipulates your brain is company property as you’ve seen and produced our IP so if you leave we will have to reclaim what’s rightfully ours
Yeah well jokes on you I signed that contract in PISS so every time you read it, you touch my PISS!
ENJOY YOUR PISS HANDS, NERD!This means your piss is now company property we will need to take all your piss
