• solidheron@sh.itjust.works
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    46 minutes ago

    Oh shit you’re gonna have a bad time, you can’t say anything credible to warn people, and if they do something antisocial or whatever all you got is empty “told you so” based on vibes

  • nooch@lemmy.vg
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    6 hours ago

    I was so scared this was a meta meme about something bad with my guy Cillian cause he has immaculate vibes

  • JakoJakoJako13@piefed.social
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    8 hours ago

    Grew up with people like that. My dad and my brothers. They’re so out going and funny on the surface. Great in their element of drugs and alcohol. The moment you dig deeper they’re cesspool level human beings. I’m the opposite. People usually tell me I’m so intimidating or quiet, but once they get to know me I’m a big teddy bear. That’s because I got to listen to you speak first. See what type of BS comes out of your brain. What actions you take.

  • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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    8 hours ago

    This happened many years ago for me. A guy at a party was giving me massive red flags. The final straw came when he outright lied to me and doubled-down on it when I asked if it was true, just to brush it off as a joke later that same day and make fun of me for believing him. I avoided him at every friend get-together afterwards.

    A few years later, after I’d moved away, I learned that the rest of the friend group left him too. Turns out he had a habit of trying to hook up with teenage girls and after some event (that I never learned the details of) brought it to light, everybody abandoned him.

    God, the vindication felt good.

    • solidheron@sh.itjust.works
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      34 minutes ago

      Now I wonder if the lying to your face behavior is actually connected to attempt statutory rape.

      I’d say you were vindicated when they brushed off what you were saying. That’s just shitty behavior that’s completely disrespectful and people don’t take seriously.

      Im an introvert so I actually don’t know how people generally accept that behavior

    • Blackmist@feddit.uk
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      8 hours ago

      Mr Tumble has a basement full of dismembered prostitutes, and you’ll have a hard job convincing me otherwise.

  • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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    9 hours ago

    so many YouTubers.

    everyone else is shocked when it happens.

    I even brought up text messages from years previous about how “they give me the ick, so I don’t watch them” which is responded with, “well they got caught after you said that”.

    people are stupid, they believe what they want to believe. this is why I’m unsurprised that a pedophilic administration has a cult following.

    • vagrancyand@sh.itjust.works
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      8 hours ago

      This, it is really, really easy to tell which youtubers are grooming kids for the most part. Even if you don’t really pay attention to content creators and just consume at random in small amounts. Yeah, the guy marketing to children, constantly making sexual jokes, constantly trying to collab with kids wants to fuck kids.

      It’s really not that difficult to work out.

  • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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    2 hours ago

    Narcissists tend to have a certain “charm.” They know exactly how to behave to gain the approval and admiration of others, especially in a society that rewards Dark Triad traits.

    When you’ve been a victim of narcissistic abuse, you tend to see through it. But no one believes you, and they all turn against you because they admire the narcissist, and narcissists tend to be pretty manipulative to get what they want.

    This is why it infuriates me when people conflate all Cluster B disorders into one thing. Borderline Personality Disorder is more common among the victims of abuse, while narcissists tend to be the abusers and generally from privileged backgrounds.

    Narcissists are infatuated with themselves, whereas people with BPD tend to hate themselves. It’s two different kinds of self-obsession, with completely different causes and consequences, yet people try to treat them as if they’re the same. While failing to identity narcissists, and mislabeling BPD as narcissism.

    BPD traits in general are far more stigmatized, even though people with BPD are the ones who both require and deserve more compassion, understanding, and acceptance in order to recover. The treatment for NPD involves removal of the social approval they’re so used to and expect; whereas the treatment for BPD requires a more affirming and validating social setting. The conflation keeps people with BPD suffering, while simultaneously enabling people with NPD to continue.

    Long story short, if you’ve been the victim of narcissistic abuse, you’re far more likely to be ostracized by society while the narcissist continue receiving approval, admiration, and promotions…

    Edit: Ugh, autocorrect changed “with” to “without” so I fixed it. I hate it when my machine silently changes the entire meaning of my sentence to its exact opposite!

    • espurr@sopuli.xyz
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      6 hours ago

      Person at my work is a psychopath I’m pretty sure… I know there’s nothing inside… empty and hollow… needing constant external validation to feel like they matter. No interest in really getting to know someone.

      Everyones super charmed by them though! And psychopaths are useful in organisations if channeled into the right stuff!

  • Windex007@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    Used to work with a dude who took great delight in belittling others. He was quite Sr.

    I thought I was taking crazy pills. “Oh, he’s actually a sweetheart once you get to know him”, “He doesn’t mean to be that way”. “He actually really likes me”

    People were bending over backwards to defend a guy who was literally getting off on abusing his position of authority. Everyone seemed to think they were the special one who he liked and respected… they just wanted everyone else to “earn it” like they had.

    It was scary! This guy had essentially formed a cult!

    Anyways, our company got acquired and he was let go during HR vetting. The company doing the acquisition obviously had better due diligence then there was when this guy had been hired: sex crimes against a minor.

    Everyone was shocked (STILL DEFENDING HIM). I was like “oh wow it’s actually crazy how perfectly that tracks”.

    • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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      12 hours ago

      Anyways, our company got acquired and he was let go during HR vetting. The company doing the acquisition obviously had better due diligence then there was when this guy had been hired: sex crimes against a minor.

      At a previous job for several months I worked 2 desks away from a new guy they hired who’d been in prison for raping his kid. I didn’t find out about this until he got fired for unrelated reasons. I was pissed because when I’d gotten hired at that place the background check they did raked me over the coals about my education history but they didn’t catch THAT. I treated that prick like a human being FFS. Now I google new hires myself to hopefully avoid that situation in the future.

  • wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io
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    14 hours ago

    Talked to my therapist about this just this Friday. I have a friend, let’s call him Saul. He’s got an air about him, the way he carries himself. Good looking but not great looking, wears a certain kind of goatee that looks a little devilish. He presents as he is a gentleman, has manners, good listener, has a light touch - masculine but also effeminate in a way.

    Women adore him! Like every woman I’ve ever met says she likes Saul. Not necessarily romantically, but just generally likes him and enjoys his company.

    I’ve lived with this man on multiple occasions. He has caused my friends and I emotional harm. He will act overly aggressive about the smallest transgressions. I put a day bed in the common room one time, for a few weeks, and rather than approaching me about him not liking it, he demonstrated overt sex acts on it. The last time I lived with him a decade ago, he and my ex would berate me and the other roommate, in very toxic emotional ways, like in some kind of sadistic hedonist thing that they shared doing together - I think it came from them both being tortured souls from their respective upbringings. Likewise, when he didn’t get his way or the rise he wanted, he would just yell or throw things. Rather than approaching in a discussion, he’d go nuclear.

    But that’s not the worst part, because it wasn’t all about what happened to me. A good friend of mine and him started dating about a decade ago. Started out great, romantic, etc. but then he started doing the same things to her, so she broke it off and moved back home. The dude, on multiple occasions, drove the two hours down the road and would just stalk her. Like follow her all damn day. Would make sure she knew he was around.

    We’re older now, I see him around town. We have coffee on occasion. He seems to be doing better, got an education, and has a little business that’s woman centric that seems to be doing well.

    But I won’t ever forget what I know about this man. The closet is full of skeletons, and damned if this meme wasn’t on point.

      • neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works
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        6 hours ago

        Not the OP, but I can help answer this:

        Because sometimes you have a bunch of mutual friends in the group and it’s easier to maintain contact than to make a big deal of things that you don’t have empirical evidence of against someone with.

    • infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net
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      6 hours ago

      Yeah one of my very close friends has been hurt by early dysfunctional situations and as a result has a super-sensitive fine-tuned judgement of personal character. I’ve known him for almost 30 years and have learned that if he tells you he doesn’t trust someone you should listen to him, even if you don’t see the reason, because he’s running on 100% accuracy.

  • lime!@feddit.nu
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    13 hours ago

    my brother’s mom is like this. she radiates anger when things don’t go her way, and it gets worse when people don’t acknowledge it. you feel it in your chest.

    i make a point of not acknowledging it. it’s childish and it causes my brother trauma.

    • 0ops@piefed.zip
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      11 hours ago

      For sure, I’ve definitely ran into a few people that just came off as too friendly in a way that seemed, idk, shallow and cocky I guess. Think Hank Scorpio but not necessarily with the money. And sometimes I’m pretty much right, they’re just jerks that like the “good guy” aesthetic but abandon it at the first sign of somebody not buying it, but other times they’ve turned out to be good and genuinely really friendly people. So I try not to judge too quickly.