This meme screams of someone like my 16 year old son with Asperger’s so I’ll answer it with the same response I would give him.
Because there are things called social norms and whether you like or agree with them or not they exist and if you don’t learn to adopt them you will isolate yourself.
The attitude as represented in the meme is destructive when you understand that humans are social creatures and people are not going to want to hang around an insufferable asshole for long periods of time. As such, you need to learn to mask, adapt, or whatever you can do because if you want to succeed let alone survive in life the attitude needs to change or it needs to hide.
Now for all the people who don’t like this let me ask you this question. Would you rather someone who loves you and cares for you to tell you this harsh reality and help you work through it to be the best you or would you rather learn when the world shuts you out and you end up exceedingly unloved and alone?
And before someone says “what if I want that?/I want that/I would love that/don’t threaten me with a good time”. Everyone requires some level of human interaction. You need to understand that even those who are your blood will start ghosting you if you are nothing but an insufferable asshole who is miserable to be around.
“If you don’t learn to adopt them you will isolate yourself” might be true if there was 1 neurodivergent person. We are a community and personally I’m not interested in being more than acquaintances if I have to mask around you all the time. That’s not a mutually beneficial relationship.
Autistics are constantly told this lie and it completely ignores the fact that there’s plenty of other autistics that will understand and accommodate each other’s needs.
This is an ableist way to see the world and my lived experience directly contradicts it.
because if you want to succeed let alone survive in life the attitude needs to change or it needs to hide.
Framing things this way is a big mistake and I don’t see why it isn’t more obvious to people that it’s a mistake. You want someone you care about to believe that there is a binary choice between a sustainable existence and resolving their emotional needs? You couldn’t make a more persuasive argument for suicidal thinking and self destructive behavior if you tried. And it isn’t even true because they are mutually dependent priorities. It took me too many years and therapy to figure this out, you should really consider approaching the issue from a different angle than this one.
social norms have reasons as well. you cant just say “because social norms exist” and expect someone to accept that answer as a reason. its basically the same as saying “because everyone says so”. so why dont you explain why the particular social norm is one in the first place. if you dont know maybe you need to find out before you try to enforce it on others.
also as an autistic person you shouldn’t be encouraging people to mask. that shit is incredibly damaging to people. i masked for most of my life and what people dont see is that i was basically just surviving that whole time. i developed an incredible amount of anxiety, to the point where i couldnt really function in society for more than a few hours at a time before i had to isolate for a day or two to recover. i wore the mask so often for so long i didnt even know who i really was anymore. i didnt start to live until a few years ago when i started making a concerted effort to take off the mask and be myself. and you know what, people fucking accepted me way more than they ever did when i was being fucking fake all the time for the sake of appearances. you might mean well telling your son and all the autists who will see your comment to mask to get by, but all youre doing is fucking hurting them and you need to stop. masking isnt for us, its for you.
Questioning social norms doesn’t necessarily makes you an asshole, it depends on how it is approached.
By not defying them we will remain stagnant, imagine the downhill slope we would end up on if no one ever questioned why a man shouldn’t love another man or a woman shouldn’t love another woman.
People shut you down because many are intolerant to change and have their values under scrutiny is seen as hostile, but that doesn’t imply compliance is productive. Of course, you don’t want to this all the time, but teaching your kid to repress their displease of social norms doesn’t sound good either.
Right lol poor kid. “Don’t question anything, just mask and shut up so nobody thinks you’re insufferable.”
Lowkey sounds like what the parent went through and views as the ‘normal’ way of dealing with being ND.
Perfectly reasonable but let’s also recognize that some social norms exist only because of tradition, and are unnecessary & uncomfortable, these social norms need to be questioned & challenged & done away with. When enough people question them and challenge them, and eventually get rid of some unnecessary oppressive social norms, we can continue to evolve as a species.
The issue isn’t people choosing to behave a certain way, it’s the expectation that everyone need to behave that way. If people want to do the same as everyone else, fine. If the standards ultimately don’t matter, then who cares?
In my experience, the people who hate me for not following them wouldn’t like me even if I tried to play along. I am often more respected when I confidently stand as myself than when I try to follow the rules as meekly as possible. If I’m gonna be freak either way, I’m better off keeping my head held high.
You’re free to act however you want to. Honestly, that’s fine with me.
But the crux of this is, if you’re acting how you want, there’s a good chance that people don’t want to be around how you’re acting, and those people shouldn’t be chastised for not bending over backwards to cater to people who’re behaving in different ways.
If you want on that ride, fine. But don’t cry about it when no one else wants to accept that kind of thing.
If people are actively excluding somebody for being themselves, especially in a workplace, that is a problem that needs addressed.
It’s one thing if you’re being yourself and not being respectful at all, such as violating somebody’s space or taking up their time excessively, it’s another to silently shun somebody because they perceivably “went their whole lives being catered to”.
That’s discrimination. You said it yourself, “But don’t cry about it when no one else wants to accept that kind of thing.”
Not accepting is discrimination. You can communicate your needs, such as a need for focus or a reduction in non-work conversation, without being a dick.
Avoiding is another level of discrimination. If you don’t like someone or you are uncomfortable talking to someone, then say so instead of contributing to the culture of discrimination that they face.
Communicate your needs instead of acting like you don’t owe people basic respect because they were perceivably catered to… because they are different.
I personally see the “love of God” people feel as actually being self love that they otherwise wouldn’t be able to give themselves. That love really is the most essential to living a full life.
And as far as I know this community’s instance doesn’t do down votes, so any down votes are from your home instance. Never seen such a ratio on Lemmy before, wow.
I have an apology to make.
I’m afraid I’ve made a big mistake.
I turned my face away from you, Lord.
I was too blind to see the light.
I was too weak to feel Your might.
I closed my eyes; I couldn’t see the truth, Lord.
But then like Saul on the Damascus road,
you sent a messenger to me, and so …
Now I’ve have had the truth revealed to me.
Please forgive me all those things I said.
I’ll no longer betray you, Lord.
I will pray to you instead.
And I will say Thank you, thank you, thank you God.
Thank you, thank you, thank you God.
Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum.
I had no idea but it’s suddenly so clear now. I feel such a cynic.
How could I have been so dumb?
Thank you for displaying how praying works:
a particular prayer in a particular church.
Thank you Sam for the chance to acknowledge this omnipotent opthamologist.
Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum.
I didn’t realize that it was so simple, but you’ve shown a great example of just how it can be done.
You only need to pray in a particular spot
to a particular version of a particular god,
and if you pull that off without a hitch,
he will fix one eye of one middle-class white bitch.
I know in the past my outlook has been limited.
I couldn’t see examples of where life had been definitive.
But I can admit it when the evidence is clear,
as clear as Sam’s mum’s new cornea.
That’s extremely clear! Extremely clear!
Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum.
I have to admit that in the past I have been skeptical but Sam described this miracle and I am overcome!
How fitting that the sighting of a sight-based intervention
should open my eyes to this exciting new dimension.
It’s like someone put an eye chart up in front of me
and the top five letters say: I C G O D.
Thank you, Sam, for showing how my point of view has been so flawed.
I assumed there was no God at all but now I see that’s cynical. It’s simply that his interests aren’t particularly broad.
He’s largely undiverted by the starving masses,
or the inequality between the various classes.
He gives you strictly limited passes,
redeemable for surgery or two-for-one glasses.
I feel so shocking for historically mocking you.
Your interests are clearly confined to the ocular.
I bet given the chance, you’d eschew the divine
and start a little business selling contacts online.
Fuck me Sam, what are the odds that of history’s endless parade of gods
that the God you just happened to be taught to believe in is the actual one and he digs on healing,
but not the AIDS-ridden African nations, nor the victims of the plague or the flood-addled Asians,
but healthy, privately-insured Australians
with common and curable corneal degeneration
This story of Sam’s has but a single explanation:
a surgical God who digs on magic explanations.
No it couldn’t be mistaken attribution of causation,
born of a coincidental temporal correlation,
exacerbated by a general lack of education
vis-a-vis physics in Sam’s parish congregation.
And it couldn’t be that all these pious people are liars.
It couldn’t be an artifact of confirmation bias,
a product of groupthink,
a mass delusion,
an Emperor’s New Clothes-style fear of exclusion.
No, it’s more likely to be an all-powerful magician
than the misdiagnosis of the initial condition,
or one of many cases of spontaneous remission,
or a record-keeping glitch by the local physician.
No, the only explanation for Sam’s mum’s seeing:
they prayed to an all-knowing superbeing,
to the omnipresent master of the universe,
and he liked the sound of their muttered verse.
So for a bit of a change from his usual stunt
of being a sexist, racist, murderous cunt,
he popped down to Dandenong and just like that,
used his powers to heal the cataracts of Sam’s mum
of Sam’s mum!
Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum!
I didn’t realize that it was such a simple thing.
I feel such a dingaling, what ignorant scum!
Now I understand how prayer can work:
a particular prayer in a particular church
in a particular style with a particular stuff
and a particular book for particular problems
that aren’t particularly tough,
and for particular people, preferably white,
for particular senses, preferably sight,
a particular prayer in a particular spot,
to a particular version of a particular god.
And if you get that right, He just might take a break from giving babies malaria and pop down to your local area to fix the cataracts of your mum!
By masochistically sacrificing Himself, to Himself, to pay a price He chose to charge of His own free will, in order to cleanse us of the “taint” of actions He considers sins.
For the sake of argument let’s assume what you believe happened happened and that your god is real. The problem with omnipotence is that you can’t blaim anyone else for the system you set up. The crucifixion didn’t need to happen to “free us from sin”, God wanted to incarnate into a mortal form and be tortured to death. Why? I cannot say, but He could have chosen some other way. He could choose to not threaten us with eternal torture simply for not loving Him. That isn’t love.
God is a fair judge, and he cant just let people off UNLESS someone else takes the punishment
Why not? Seriously. He set up the system. Why require punishment in that system? Jesus and God are the same person (hence “triune” ), so He essentially had us torture and kill Himself to appease His own vengeance.
He could have forgiven us without preconditions. He chose to require punishment. Then He chose to be tortured and killed . Now He demands that we thank him for it or He’ll punish us for eternity. That’s psychopath behavior.
You’re right. Brahma, the one true god, did all this for us.
I didn’t know he got rhe romans to kill that imposter on the cross but you learn something new every day.
Hinduism is false as it commits multiple fallacies in itself, it is a mess of thousands of contradicting books with no unity.
many modern hindus claim its a “philosophy/way of life not a religion”.
Hinduism is also slowly dying, and the only reason it has a “billion people” is that the Indian government assumes that everyone is a Hindu at birth, and they made hinduism the “default” religion in their databases
I kinda feel bad about it because I think they were genuinely trying to be supportive. They’re far more supportive than the person telling ND people to shut up and mask.
This meme screams of someone like my 16 year old son with Asperger’s so I’ll answer it with the same response I would give him.
Because there are things called social norms and whether you like or agree with them or not they exist and if you don’t learn to adopt them you will isolate yourself.
The attitude as represented in the meme is destructive when you understand that humans are social creatures and people are not going to want to hang around an insufferable asshole for long periods of time. As such, you need to learn to mask, adapt, or whatever you can do because if you want to succeed let alone survive in life the attitude needs to change or it needs to hide.
Now for all the people who don’t like this let me ask you this question. Would you rather someone who loves you and cares for you to tell you this harsh reality and help you work through it to be the best you or would you rather learn when the world shuts you out and you end up exceedingly unloved and alone?
And before someone says “what if I want that?/I want that/I would love that/don’t threaten me with a good time”. Everyone requires some level of human interaction. You need to understand that even those who are your blood will start ghosting you if you are nothing but an insufferable asshole who is miserable to be around.
When you tell your autistic child to mask you’re encouraging them to make their mental health worse: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/13623613251353358
“If you don’t learn to adopt them you will isolate yourself” might be true if there was 1 neurodivergent person. We are a community and personally I’m not interested in being more than acquaintances if I have to mask around you all the time. That’s not a mutually beneficial relationship.
Autistics are constantly told this lie and it completely ignores the fact that there’s plenty of other autistics that will understand and accommodate each other’s needs.
This is an ableist way to see the world and my lived experience directly contradicts it.
Framing things this way is a big mistake and I don’t see why it isn’t more obvious to people that it’s a mistake. You want someone you care about to believe that there is a binary choice between a sustainable existence and resolving their emotional needs? You couldn’t make a more persuasive argument for suicidal thinking and self destructive behavior if you tried. And it isn’t even true because they are mutually dependent priorities. It took me too many years and therapy to figure this out, you should really consider approaching the issue from a different angle than this one.
Thank you. I’m glad some people realise that telling autistic people to adapt or die is an awful inhumane thing to do.
Because for people like me, that is what you are asking us to do.
social norms have reasons as well. you cant just say “because social norms exist” and expect someone to accept that answer as a reason. its basically the same as saying “because everyone says so”. so why dont you explain why the particular social norm is one in the first place. if you dont know maybe you need to find out before you try to enforce it on others.
also as an autistic person you shouldn’t be encouraging people to mask. that shit is incredibly damaging to people. i masked for most of my life and what people dont see is that i was basically just surviving that whole time. i developed an incredible amount of anxiety, to the point where i couldnt really function in society for more than a few hours at a time before i had to isolate for a day or two to recover. i wore the mask so often for so long i didnt even know who i really was anymore. i didnt start to live until a few years ago when i started making a concerted effort to take off the mask and be myself. and you know what, people fucking accepted me way more than they ever did when i was being fucking fake all the time for the sake of appearances. you might mean well telling your son and all the autists who will see your comment to mask to get by, but all youre doing is fucking hurting them and you need to stop. masking isnt for us, its for you.
Questioning social norms doesn’t necessarily makes you an asshole, it depends on how it is approached.
By not defying them we will remain stagnant, imagine the downhill slope we would end up on if no one ever questioned why a man shouldn’t love another man or a woman shouldn’t love another woman.
People shut you down because many are intolerant to change and have their values under scrutiny is seen as hostile, but that doesn’t imply compliance is productive. Of course, you don’t want to this all the time, but teaching your kid to repress their displease of social norms doesn’t sound good either.
“you are insufferable for asking why”
“you need to mask, to adapt”
😬
Right lol poor kid. “Don’t question anything, just mask and shut up so nobody thinks you’re insufferable.” Lowkey sounds like what the parent went through and views as the ‘normal’ way of dealing with being ND.
Perfectly reasonable but let’s also recognize that some social norms exist only because of tradition, and are unnecessary & uncomfortable, these social norms need to be questioned & challenged & done away with. When enough people question them and challenge them, and eventually get rid of some unnecessary oppressive social norms, we can continue to evolve as a species.
They’re still social norms because people are fine with them.
Just because a group of people online are against things, doesn’t mean that everyone else isn’t fine with it.
The issue isn’t people choosing to behave a certain way, it’s the expectation that everyone need to behave that way. If people want to do the same as everyone else, fine. If the standards ultimately don’t matter, then who cares?
In my experience, the people who hate me for not following them wouldn’t like me even if I tried to play along. I am often more respected when I confidently stand as myself than when I try to follow the rules as meekly as possible. If I’m gonna be freak either way, I’m better off keeping my head held high.
You’re free to act however you want to. Honestly, that’s fine with me.
But the crux of this is, if you’re acting how you want, there’s a good chance that people don’t want to be around how you’re acting, and those people shouldn’t be chastised for not bending over backwards to cater to people who’re behaving in different ways.
If you want on that ride, fine. But don’t cry about it when no one else wants to accept that kind of thing.
It’s fine so long as we can coexist and work together without issue. I would dislike spending time with you more than you would with me
If people are actively excluding somebody for being themselves, especially in a workplace, that is a problem that needs addressed.
It’s one thing if you’re being yourself and not being respectful at all, such as violating somebody’s space or taking up their time excessively, it’s another to silently shun somebody because they perceivably “went their whole lives being catered to”.
That’s discrimination. You said it yourself, “But don’t cry about it when no one else wants to accept that kind of thing.”
Not accepting is discrimination. You can communicate your needs, such as a need for focus or a reduction in non-work conversation, without being a dick.
Someone avoiding a person is not discrimination. People are not entitled to other peoples’ time or patience. That’s what I’m trying to say here.
Avoiding is another level of discrimination. If you don’t like someone or you are uncomfortable talking to someone, then say so instead of contributing to the culture of discrimination that they face.
Communicate your needs instead of acting like you don’t owe people basic respect because they were perceivably catered to… because they are different.
No it’s not. Lol.
Not every person deserves an answer for every action around them. I’m sorry, but that’s just not realistic.
you are never unloved
You are always loved by God
any love of man is incomparable to the love of God
I personally see the “love of God” people feel as actually being self love that they otherwise wouldn’t be able to give themselves. That love really is the most essential to living a full life.
the complete absence of upvotes on this lmfao
Also the complete absence of ability to read the room.
And as far as I know this community’s instance doesn’t do down votes, so any down votes are from your home instance. Never seen such a ratio on Lemmy before, wow.
it still has zero upvotes except their own
Which one? I’m vetting them to see who has the better dental plan. There’s just so many to choose from, it’s tough to decide.
whatever you do don’t fucking deal with the fae, they’ll get you to sell your own teeth for a pittence
Jokes on them, I’m all out of pittances.
if “god” “loves” me then why does its book say it hates me (im queer)
when have there ever been signs of a real god
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zi8HT6Ux8FM (invidious: https://redirect.invidious.io/watch?v=zi8HT6Ux8FM )
(long) transcript of that song:
I have an apology to make. I’m afraid I’ve made a big mistake. I turned my face away from you, Lord.
I was too blind to see the light. I was too weak to feel Your might. I closed my eyes; I couldn’t see the truth, Lord.
But then like Saul on the Damascus road, you sent a messenger to me, and so …
Now I’ve have had the truth revealed to me. Please forgive me all those things I said. I’ll no longer betray you, Lord. I will pray to you instead.
And I will say Thank you, thank you, thank you God. Thank you, thank you, thank you God.
Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum.
I had no idea but it’s suddenly so clear now. I feel such a cynic. How could I have been so dumb?
Thank you for displaying how praying works: a particular prayer in a particular church. Thank you Sam for the chance to acknowledge this omnipotent opthamologist.
Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum. I didn’t realize that it was so simple, but you’ve shown a great example of just how it can be done.
You only need to pray in a particular spot to a particular version of a particular god, and if you pull that off without a hitch, he will fix one eye of one middle-class white bitch.
I know in the past my outlook has been limited. I couldn’t see examples of where life had been definitive. But I can admit it when the evidence is clear, as clear as Sam’s mum’s new cornea.
That’s extremely clear! Extremely clear!
Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum. I have to admit that in the past I have been skeptical but Sam described this miracle and I am overcome!
How fitting that the sighting of a sight-based intervention should open my eyes to this exciting new dimension. It’s like someone put an eye chart up in front of me and the top five letters say: I C G O D.
Thank you, Sam, for showing how my point of view has been so flawed. I assumed there was no God at all but now I see that’s cynical. It’s simply that his interests aren’t particularly broad.
He’s largely undiverted by the starving masses, or the inequality between the various classes. He gives you strictly limited passes, redeemable for surgery or two-for-one glasses.
I feel so shocking for historically mocking you. Your interests are clearly confined to the ocular. I bet given the chance, you’d eschew the divine and start a little business selling contacts online.
Fuck me Sam, what are the odds that of history’s endless parade of gods that the God you just happened to be taught to believe in is the actual one and he digs on healing, but not the AIDS-ridden African nations, nor the victims of the plague or the flood-addled Asians, but healthy, privately-insured Australians with common and curable corneal degeneration
This story of Sam’s has but a single explanation: a surgical God who digs on magic explanations. No it couldn’t be mistaken attribution of causation, born of a coincidental temporal correlation, exacerbated by a general lack of education vis-a-vis physics in Sam’s parish congregation. And it couldn’t be that all these pious people are liars. It couldn’t be an artifact of confirmation bias, a product of groupthink, a mass delusion, an Emperor’s New Clothes-style fear of exclusion.
No, it’s more likely to be an all-powerful magician than the misdiagnosis of the initial condition, or one of many cases of spontaneous remission, or a record-keeping glitch by the local physician.
No, the only explanation for Sam’s mum’s seeing: they prayed to an all-knowing superbeing, to the omnipresent master of the universe, and he liked the sound of their muttered verse.
So for a bit of a change from his usual stunt of being a sexist, racist, murderous cunt, he popped down to Dandenong and just like that, used his powers to heal the cataracts of Sam’s mum of Sam’s mum!
Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sam’s mum! I didn’t realize that it was such a simple thing. I feel such a dingaling, what ignorant scum!
Now I understand how prayer can work: a particular prayer in a particular church in a particular style with a particular stuff and a particular book for particular problems that aren’t particularly tough, and for particular people, preferably white, for particular senses, preferably sight, a particular prayer in a particular spot, to a particular version of a particular god.
And if you get that right, He just might take a break from giving babies malaria and pop down to your local area to fix the cataracts of your mum!
“a god that loves you unconditionally, but only under certain conditions” type shit XD
the Bible never says God hates queer people
and there have been multiple miracles proving God
There are a lot of gods, so which one? Also, i never saw a god showing love to me, did i got left behind? Damn it
The one triune God
and you being born, being alive, having food, having a machine to comment this are all examples of hs Love for you
and he expressed the ultimate love to us on the Cross
WAIT SO MY MOM HAD AN AFFAIR WITH GOD?!
No need to slap it again in my face TwT
He never paid a dime duh
I am sure that i have this phone because some chinese kid manufactured this, unless…THE KID IS GOD??
This is a lot to process…
no, God ensured the circumstances for your birth
He provided the food, without him, there would be no wheat for the bread you enjoy
By masochistically sacrificing Himself, to Himself, to pay a price He chose to charge of His own free will, in order to cleanse us of the “taint” of actions He considers sins.
For the sake of argument let’s assume what you believe happened happened and that your god is real. The problem with omnipotence is that you can’t blaim anyone else for the system you set up. The crucifixion didn’t need to happen to “free us from sin”, God wanted to incarnate into a mortal form and be tortured to death. Why? I cannot say, but He could have chosen some other way. He could choose to not threaten us with eternal torture simply for not loving Him. That isn’t love.
It is not God who rejects us, it is us that reject God
and the concept of hell is basically a place without God
you didnt want God your entire life, so yeah, you wont be with God, you have free will
but ohhh you want the privileges that come with creation and God himself but not put in any spiritual effort yourself?
God is a fair judge, and he cant just let people off UNLESS someone else takes the punishment
Jesus took the punishment
Why not? Seriously. He set up the system. Why require punishment in that system? Jesus and God are the same person (hence “triune” ), so He essentially had us torture and kill Himself to appease His own vengeance.
He could have forgiven us without preconditions. He chose to require punishment. Then He chose to be tortured and killed . Now He demands that we thank him for it or He’ll punish us for eternity. That’s psychopath behavior.
because there are consequences for your actions?
and the trinity is comprised of three different persons and one God
We know very little about hell currently, and dantes inferno isnt canon
You’re right. Brahma, the one true god, did all this for us.
I didn’t know he got rhe romans to kill that imposter on the cross but you learn something new every day.
Hinduism is false as it commits multiple fallacies in itself, it is a mess of thousands of contradicting books with no unity.
many modern hindus claim its a “philosophy/way of life not a religion”.
Hinduism is also slowly dying, and the only reason it has a “billion people” is that the Indian government assumes that everyone is a Hindu at birth, and they made hinduism the “default” religion in their databases
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?
Martin Luther is a heretic
The one universal church (the Catholic Church) is true
the 1 upvote to 29 downvotes is so funny to me
I kinda feel bad about it because I think they were genuinely trying to be supportive. They’re far more supportive than the person telling ND people to shut up and mask.