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Jaromil@fed.dyne.org to Programmer Humor@lemmy.ml · 11 个月前

Off by one solitude

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Off by one solitude

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Jaromil@fed.dyne.org to Programmer Humor@lemmy.ml · 11 个月前
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  • lefixxx@lemmy.world
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    11 个月前

    She is right, using 0 index for physical stuff is stupid.

    • jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de
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      11 个月前

      Your rulers start at 1? That sounds annoying.

      • Godnroc@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        I’ve seen a lot of rulers that actually don’t have a mark at 0 and instead go right to the edge as 0. Typically they are worn down, being made of wood, so the accuracy of the first inch is dubious. To ensure the distance is correct, sliding the ruler down one unit is a good idea. So, my ruler starts at 0 but my measurements start at 1.

        • jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de
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          11 个月前

          That’s why decent rulers have a 0 and a margin:

          plastic ruler starting at 0 cm

          • xthexder@l.sw0.com
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            11 个月前

            It really depends on what you’re measuring. Good luck measuring the distance from a corner if you can’t get 0 to touch the end.

            Tape measures are almost always designed with this in mind, so you can hook the end over an edge, or butt it up against something and the measurement will be accurate both ways, since the metal end can slide in or out by just the right amount.

            • Juniper (she/her) 🫐@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              11 个月前

              since the metal end can slide in or out by just the right amount.

              OMG! I genuinely thought all the tape measures I have handled were a little broken.

            • kurwa@lemmy.world
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              11 个月前

              Just shave down the rulers margin!

      • NateNate60@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        Rulers measure cardinal quantities and not ordinal ones. There is no cardinal numbering scheme that starts at 1, all of them “start” at 0. For ordinal numbering schemes, the symbols are arbitrary anyway and you can start with whatever you want. It’s equally valid to start with 1, 0, -1, A, or “aardvark”. The only benefit to picking 1 as the start is to make it easier to count with your fingers while picking 0 lets you easily convert an ordinal quantity to a cardinal one.

      • gallopingsnail@lemmy.sdf.org
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        11 个月前

        Your job is to move apples from one bin to another. You pick up the first one and set it in the other bin, and say “zero.”?

        • spikespaz@programming.dev
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          11 个月前

          There’s another way to think about it which I actually use. Look in the empty bin and say “zero”, then move an apple and say “one”.

        • absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz
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          11 个月前

          When playing games with the kids, we start at 0 being the position you are currently in, then count from there.

          e.g. in snakes and ladders, if you are on spot 30 and roll a 5, tap spot 30 and say “zero”, then spot 31 is “one” etc… till you are at spot 35 saying “five”.

          Teaches the kids about zero and avoids miss counts from the younger ones counting their current position as “one”

      • lefixxx@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        Touchè

        • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world
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          11 个月前

          é

          • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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            11 个月前

            ë

            • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world
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              11 个月前

              No, it’s still touché.

    • Barbarian@sh.itjust.works
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      11 个月前

      Works for floors!

      • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        Not on this side of the pond. We typically don’t have a ground floor, that’s just the first floor.

      • affiliate@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        i wish the people making buildings around here knew that. some start at floor 3, others at 5. some start at 0. others at 2. every building has its own story. you need to understand the building before you can understand your position in it.

        • LousyCornMuffins@lemmy.world
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          11 个月前

          if a building is built into a hillside in the uk and has exits on floors 2 and 5, which would be the ground floor?

          • affiliate@lemmy.world
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            11 个月前

            it’s floor 5 from monday to wednesday, and floor 2 from thursday to sunday

          • Juniper (she/her) 🫐@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            11 个月前

            My intuition would be floor 2, as it is the lowest floor to the ground that isn’t underground

    • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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      11 个月前

      Why? It seems exactly as valid to me, and more valid if you like positional numberings of your physical stuff.

      You just count the number of times you departed from an item in order, rather than the times you arrived.

    • psud@aussie.zone
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      11 个月前

      Blame the restaurant for having a table identified as zero

    • ulterno@lemmy.kde.social
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      11 个月前

      Guy is wrong. Went to 0th table. She asked for 1st table.

  • drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world
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    11 个月前

    And then he texts back ‘where are you?’ And then she texts back ‘the first table’ and he replies ‘umm I’m here too. But I don’t see you’ confused she asks him ’ table 0p?’ And then ‘01*?’ He says ‘no, 00.’ Releaved she says ‘lol I am at table 01’ he chuckles ‘I am at 00, I’ll go find you’

    Later they get married and have kids. But relationship collapses and it ruins both of them and they cannot find the heart to love anyone again. Their children grow up broken and struggle through life. Some get arrested end up in prison, all of them repeatedly fall into a series of toxic relationships for the rest of their lives.

    • where_am_i@sh.itjust.works
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      11 个月前

      username checks out

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      11 个月前

      Or… or… hear me out… one of them turns around on their chair, and says “hey there”.

      • drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        They were at the corner

  • pelya@lemmy.world
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    11 个月前

    In the UK it’s called a ground table.

    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      So it was a spelling mistake? They’re actually The Knights of The Ground Table!

      • Klear@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        They dance whenever they’re gable?

    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

    • affiliate@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      do you also have minced tables there?

    • undergroundoverground@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      When you get off an airplane, do you say

      “Its great to be back on solid first floor of the earth.”

      ?

      • pelya@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        If the walkway goes inside the building, then yes. And the walkway usually leads directly to the second floor, because the airplane door is 3 metres above the ground.

        • undergroundoverground@lemmy.world
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          11 个月前

          OK but what about going onto the ground?

          Like, in your garden, is that the first floor of the planet?

          • pelya@lemmy.world
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            11 个月前

            Inside the building it’s the first floor, even if it’s exactly at the sea level altitude. Outside the building it’s the ground. Basement levels start at minus one, there is no zeroth floor.

            • undergroundoverground@lemmy.world
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              11 个月前

              Exactly, the idea that you go up a floor because there’s a roof over your head is very silly.

  • aluminium@lemmy.world
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    11 个月前

    She was a lua girl, he was every other programming language guy. It was not ment to happen.

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      11 个月前

      She liked embeddded apps
      And he liked desktop displays
      What more can I say?

    • bob_lemon@feddit.org
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      11 个月前

      Hey, don’t forget the Matlab people

      • TyrantTW@lemmy.ml
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        11 个月前

        And R!

        • szczuroarturo@programming.dev
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          11 个月前

          And abap

          • gerryflap@feddit.nl
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            11 个月前

            And Julia!

  • netvor@lemmy.world
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    11 个月前

    Don’t wanna state the obvious, but it looks like they still ended up staring at each other for the rest of the evening.

    They have shown that they still love each other, so hope they can work with their one irreconcilable difference.

    • 👍Maximum Derek👍@discuss.tchncs.de
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      11 个月前

      I love the idea that they’re at two adjacent tables, each one staring at the other wondering why they hate them.

      • KellysNokia@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        They hate each other because they are intolerant to one another’s index choices

  • lustyargonian@lemm.ee
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    11 个月前

    If you love me meet me at first floor

    Americans 😢 British 🤷‍♂️

    • TriflingToad@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      explanation

      • SLVRDRGN@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        Exactly what this reminded me of. Thanks.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      The Major: “Fighting retreat at first light”

      Me alone in the trench the morning after next, woken by German voices: “Oh no!”

  • ddh@lemmy.sdf.org
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    11 个月前

    It’s for the best

  • yonder@sh.itjust.works
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    11 个月前

    That is why my restaurant will number tables by UUID.

    • OneCardboardBox@lemmy.sdf.org
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      11 个月前

      A much better idea than when I tried to organize my restaurant with hashtables.

      It was too much for the waitstaff, who had to reindex the floor plan every time they added or removed a plate.

      On the plus side, delivering the right food was always O(1).

  • Avicenna@lemmy.world
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    11 个月前

    they were never meant to be together, they would confuse the hell out of each other. Imagine they have two kids and she says pick kid[1] from the school, then what?

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      11 个月前
      Child Overflow Error
      

      Edit: oh wait you said two kids, nvm

      • Andrew@mander.xyz
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        11 个月前

        Hol’ up!

    • TechieDamien@lemmy.ml
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      11 个月前

      I think children go in dictionaries so you can look them to via name (key).

    • BluesF@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      One kid’s getting garbage collected either way

  • yesman@lemmy.world
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    11 个月前

    The real punch line is that in a cafe run by programmers, esoteric rules are in full force, but tables 0 and 1 are no where near each other.

  • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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    11 个月前

    🙅 zeroth, first, second, third
    👉 Zerost, onest, twost, threest

    • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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      11 个月前

      I’m the twost two that’s ever twoed.

    • psud@aussie.zone
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      11 个月前

      Good luck standardizing English

      • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca
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        11 个月前

        Englist*

        • Tlaloc_Temporal@lemmy.ca
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          11 个月前

          Northern England just got a new nickname.

  • Anna@lemmy.ml
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    11 个月前

    Hey, if she thinks 1 is 1st index then you dogged dodged a bullet and deserve better.

    Happy now all you English majors.

    • MadBob@feddit.nl
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      11 个月前

      you dogged a bullet

      😳

    • MobileDecay@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      🐕🐕🐕

  • sasquash@sopuli.xyz
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    11 个月前

    maybe she’s a lua developer

  • sgibson5150@slrpnk.net
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    Wouldn’t it be nice if documentation used the words index and offset consistently?

    • dohpaz42@lemmy.world
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      11 个月前

      The problem is that they both are contextual and can mean any position in a list/array. The starting index or starting offset is generally zero, but could be one, depending on the language used.

      • affiliate@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        i wonder why people haven’t made a language that starts indexing at 2 yet. maybe some day

        • jaybone@lemmy.world
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          11 个月前

          Maybe this could be a feature in brainfuck or COBOL.

          • affiliate@lemmy.world
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            11 个月前

            god i hope so

        • Vorthas@lemmy.ml
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          11 个月前

          Dreamberd starts array indexing at -1 instead of 0 or 1.

          https://github.com/TodePond/DreamBerd

          • affiliate@lemmy.world
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            11 个月前

            what a beautiful language

    • Zagorath@aussie.zone
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      Aren’t those two the same thing? At least in C-style arrays, which might not be how they’re handled under the hood, but is at least how most languages present it to the programmer.

      • lefixxx@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        Yes they are presented in the programmer wrong. The first thing in memory should have offset 0 and index 1

      • ReversalHatchery@beehaw.org
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        11 个月前

        in my understanding offset is technically the “relative index”, or how much you have to go further

  • LillyPip@lemmy.ca
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    11 个月前

    DROP TABLE 01;

    • LousyCornMuffins@lemmy.world
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      • KellysNokia@lemmy.world
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        11 个月前

        Dangit Bobby!

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