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Man, I don’t care where you fall on the rainbow/CIS spectrum, that’s a really tough metric to meet.
Talking to people who care about being gay is just as draining as talking to people who care about being straight
About the latter gay person in the post, its genuinely exhausting to deal with someone so opinionated. Say something that they might interpret as having the “wrong” opinion, and they’ll spend like half an hour trying to educate you.
Idk if you’ve seen the other reply to me. But yeah… I know what you mean all too well haha
Worse is when you’re talking to a gay guy and you realise he’s actually a basic 19 year old white girl from Oakland who just happens to be a grown-ass man.
I wish all gays were the absolute caricatures and stereotypes that homophobes act like they are. Life would be so much more fun.
I wish that I was good at art, and writing, and theater, because that would mean that I have talent.
I wish for a gajillion dollars.
I’m proud that my screenshot has been circulating around but… why is astrids head chopped off?? 😭😭
edit: found my post https://sh.itjust.works/post/38777574
cuz she a queen✨️🇫🇷
idk, I found it like this ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ooo that’s interesting, where did you find it?
idk, reddit probably
that’s probably the first instance of reddit taking a meme from Lemmy and not the other way around 😂
I’ll make sure to make more memes then so I too can see my own meme on reddit
I apologize I’m halfway between these two
Ugh yeah this is the worst. It’s the actual normal person, where you are exposed and got it, but moved on because it wait wasn’t a huge deal.
I always wonder if it’s that maybe I just need to find my people and haven’t done it yet.
I’m more the opposite, I can hang with both because I can be the weirdo in normal circles and the one who’s not that into that scene type
Like I can jam with a fandom but I need breaks from it and too long without more content leaves me less invested unless it’s something that has a strong emotional history for me.
I do have to step away when a space gets too bpd though, but that’s because ptsd
Well, stay off Instagram and BlueSky then
I fucking hate Bluesky. There were like 5 people on that site that were funny, all were trans. I think that says quite a bit about their demographics. Too many people named Cheryl in their mid 40s.
and real life too, apparently
Too many of y’all are just straight people that have gay sex.
Unpack your cis/heteronormativity!
Read up on Queer Theory!
Show up for (the whole) community!
to be gay one must first train for 100 years in the depths of the grand lgbtcanyon, and read 100 local lesbian literatures.
to be trans one must first buy 100 pronouns and have 100 blahaj plushies, then play 100 hours of celeste at the queer slopes of flowery doom
I hate feeling pressured into stereotypes just to prove my gayness.
If this whole thing is about living genuinely why should I have to read books that define who I am to me? Why can’t I just be me the way I like to be?
I’ve always felt trapped, like I’m too straight for the gay kids but too gay for the straight kids.
The two main reasons it took me decades to come out were homophobic neighbors and feeling like I wasn’t gay enough because I wasn’t interested in all the stereotypical gay hobbies/interests.
Side note. I didn’t think you were pressuring me or being negative. Your line “read up on queer theory” reminded me of some of the toxic interactions I had so I felt the need to vent.
Yeah it reeks of being told in the 2010s “check your privilege”. While it’s not entirely wrong, it’s not entirely right, either, and is incredibly hostile. Everybody’s right.
I saw a video on TT the other day of a guy parodying Randy Newman with a made up song “hurt people hurt people”. It was surprisingly good, both funny and good, but surprisingly deep and true and wise and all that.
As I get older, I think I’m starting to decipher who to listen to, and I think it largely comes down to malice. Like, if the concept of tone policing were to be taken seriously, it would need to meet those with different views and experiences where they’re at.
I, like you, grew up very closeted. While not exactly hostile to queer people, my guilt of unintentionally hurting people stays with me as a scar, as wisdom. I don’t think much in this world is totally concrete, but let me tell you and anybody who reads this: regardless of what you think logic implies or how logic dictates, emotions are real and are often separate and stand very much on their own (not always, but often). Coming at somebody who is simply ignorant who hurts you with malice isn’t okay. But also, as I get older, willful ignorance is starting to become an unforgivable sin. Maybe even one of the only few real ones.
With that knowledge of judgement, then, you and I and anybody else, who may have grown up our privileges and lifestyles very much do have a duty to at least intellectually investigate if somebody says we are hurting them. To do otherwise is… quite exceptional, if realistically and unfortunately quite the opposite when it comes to most people.
That knowledge of morality and responsibility of ethics ethics is a code, though. Codes don’t always need to be followed, as willful negligence can sometimes be strategically good, like “putting your mask on, first”. But, be wary of slipping into willful ignorance, as that is a very dangerous line to court.
I’m sorry for the toxic interactions you’ve had. I’m absolutely not talking about stereotypes and appearances, and those that made you feel not gay enough are included in those needing to show up for their community.
Sorry I was in shit post mode instead of essay mode :3
I’m talking to the gays who eat at Chick-fil-A
I’m talking to the lesbian who told the bi girl to choose a side
I’m talking to the bi girl who calls herself a f*g hag while hitting on a trans girl
I’m talking to the trans people who fell into transmedicalism
And much more, but hopefully I’ve explained myself better.
I gotcha. No need to be sorry, no offense was taken
Can one have a love/hate relationship with knowledge?
Like, I hate that I have to know all these things, but I love who I am in knowing things-in-general and these things you’ve said, as I know they make the world a better place for us all.
As I approach 40 and the world changes more and more underneath our feet and before our very eyes, I find myself burdened with knowledge. Knowledge that hurts to have. Knowledge that I’m different, knowledge of how the world works, knowledge of human behavior, and the knowledge of my and all of our limitations. Knowledge that hurts to have.
That’s really homophobic actually. Like I’m a bit of a freak, but I have friends through our shared queerness that absolutely aren’t. My friend who just wants a stable life to raise kids in a monogamous relationship with her wife in the suburbs still suffers from homophobia, she doesn’t judge me for being a poly leather weirdo, she just treats me as a cherished friend and fellow lesbian, and it would be wrong for me to treat her any differently.
Edit: saw your explanation and yeah, I’m leaving my message because it was a gut response that isn’t wrong to what I and others interpreted, but your explanation is absolutely correct and ironically this same friend is exactly what you mean people should be like. Her wife is bi and she’s never hesitated to stand up for us freakier queers
Hey, so, just because someone isn’t a musical theatre major with cotton candy colored hair doesn’t mean that they’re not being authentic to their true selves. Let queer people be “boring”. Let me make this clear, I’m a lot closer to the person in the picture than what you think of as boring, I just hate the idea of forcing anyone to be a stereotype.
Hi
As a straight person, what are you trying to imply with the “read up on queer theory?”
It sounds like you’re saying that if you’re gay you should also have some of the “neighboring” qualities in the posted image.
That feels weird? Like you’re pressuring someone who’s gay to also identify with other things that they may not identify with. If they don’t identify with those things they might feel broken, or unaccepted.
Is it that wrong to be someone who presents themselves as largely straight but isn’t?
The difference is that I expect more from my community members to not perpetuate bigotry from within the community, to learn our histories, to not uphold or enforce stereotypes on each other.
I don’t expect anything from you, because I don’t expect straight people to have experience with LGBT people with the majority of the noise being propaganda.
But I do request that when asking community members a question that we are listened to, and to remember that our experiences and existence are not an argument or debate.
Yeah, what I got hung up on was: “Too many of y’all are just straight people that have gay sex.”
Which kinda feels contradictory to: “… not uphold or enforce stereotypes on each other.”
It just feels like there’s a gay stereotype and you’re pushing those who aren’t a part of that stereotype to embrace it.
But looking at your other posts I can also see it as “don’t be afraid to be your true self, you don’t need to hide and present yourself as straight.”
I think that straight people who are allies should learn a bit more about lgbtq issues. Justice for all, perpetuated by all and whatnot.
Maybe you havent talked to them for long enough, it takes a very long time before im comfortable just being myself around others irl.
I would imagine that most of our brains, interests, communication styles and socialized behaviors are immensely multifaceted where it would require a reasonably nuanced stimulus to trigger a response within the realm of their expectation. I don’t expect many people to appreciate my niche hyperfixations and, frankly, some of them aren’t even popularized in a way that I can easily articulate. I struggle to imagine a situation where it would slip out during everyday conversation.
