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Just buy reusable mesh bags and stop wasting plastic to protect your produce for a 20 minute car ride.
There’s no way I’m getting to my car when opening a bag is this hard
“Joke about the inability to open a car because the inability to open a little bag”
;-)
The joke is the same as in the picture. As in: since I’m having so much trouble opening this bag I will never get to my car because I’ll be stuck here trying to open this bag. Hope that helps!
“just put the fruit in the cart” gang represent
Right? Just gonna wash it anyway
Just dump all the loose blueberries into it.
I put them in my pockets and hope I don’t bump into anyone.
You’re a savage, go back to the forest.
The “waste” is negligible; doing some napkin math, a 20 minute car ride accounts for 300 times higher carbon footprint than a plastic produce bag (can elaborate if you want). A reused mesh bag is going to be less hygienic and less convenient, and factoring in the higher footprint of production and distribution (produce bags come in packs of thousands) you would need to get a lot of reuse out of it to even be worth it. Considering impact of disposal, as long as you live somewhere that has sane waste disposal and doesn’t empty their trash into the ocean it’s not going to be significant either.
People need to get some perspective on plastic waste. I’ve seen no end of complaints about how my 3d printing hobby is responsible for climate change… In my country, we produce >200 kg of plastic per capita. My 1kg spool of vegetable-derived plastic is not to blame for passing 3°.
I think it’s just since it is a visible thing, and because alternatives are products you can buy and be seen using, it becomes a prime target for scolding and virtue signalling.
It’s like complaining about a phone charger being left in the socket when the windows are open with the AC on.
Those produce bags weigh like 1/4 of a gram. Those produce reusable bags weigh like 30 grams. Most people lose or break, or toss the reusable produce bags before using them 120 times. It’s feel good bullshit for high consuming Whole Foods shoppers. And it’s a distraction.
To be clear, I’m all for reusable grocery bags, and generally against single use items. But the produce bags are so thin and light, they’re probably the least problematic.
It’s less about the carbon and more about the fact that it doesn’t degrade. It’s plastic pollution.
everything that helps helps
We still reuse the plastic bags around here… so, not a total waste I guess.
Not all of those bags are the same.
The produce bag rolls at most stores around me are compostable now. They are also breathable and will keep the produce fresh longer when left in the bag.
Compostable means they can be recycled, which isn’t as good as reusing, which isn’t as good as reducing.
Reduce>Reuse>Recycle
Best part is I can carry 2-3 fully loaded reusable bags vs 12 flimsy plastic ones that split and overflow.
in sweden we have paper bags that are then used for food waste recycling at home.
Produce Manager here. Place the end that opens directly between your two palms, and rub your palms together vigorously. The bag will stick to one palm or both, opening every time. Please stop licking your fingers to open these bags and then picking through our vegetables. You’re gross.
Vegetable Farmer here. That shit is already gross. Wash your veggies.
Produce Manager here. Thanks for all of the gross vegetables!
Consumer of vegetables here. Where can I find the yams?
Yam section. Can’t miss it.
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Yeah, most people are aware of the process, though it doesn’t make adding human saliva to the mix at the store level any more wholesome. There are a number of ways to open a plastic bag that don’t involve your tongue.
I knew there will be a comment like this.
A breath of hot air also makes the bag stick to your hands and easy to separate. Like you’re trying to fog a window.
All you do is put the top between the palms of your hands and rub them together like you’ve just come up with an evil plan and they pop open.
bonus points if you actually come up with an evil plan while you’re doing it
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simply use the moisture from the sprayers
I’ve touched sprayed produce before just for the grip. 🥴
The what now? I haven’t seen those since the early '90s.
They’re still in use everywhere I’ve shopped
At least the bags say “OPEN HERE”. We’d be fucked if they said “OPEN IN ZIMBABWE” or something like that.
Not sure, I might have just figured out Steven Wright’s Lemmy account.
Excuse me? That was a George Carlin joke I stole.
I’ll try for five minutes and find out it opens on the other end.
I do this with dog poop bags, it’s so frustrating!
I use ones that are explicitly labelled with a black strip. My tactic for opening them is to put them between my lips and blow, which works pretty well but got really weird during the mandatory masking periods.
The best days are when you successfully open one … and realize it wasn’t sealed at the bottom either
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My hands are too dry for this to be effective
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You must be shrooming. There’s a reason people moisten their fingers when working with stuff like this.
I can hear your username. Well done.
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I would encourage you to read and understand things before behaving like an unpleasant and haughty know-it-all
You didn’t even click my link because if you read it, then you’d have to admit that you’ve been embarrassingly wrong this entire time, starting with that eye-rolling emoji. That’s really hard for you, isn’t it – to admit that you’re wrong.
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Hey now, who said you could live on my planet?
You’d think that!
I touch the moist sprayers to wet my fingers enough and the opening of the bag is always the part that’s already detached.
Those two tips help.
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Clap the whole bag between your hands and rub them together like a scheming villain
As a person with eternally sweaty palms, this right here is my superpower. (⌐■-■)
If you listen closely you can hear him whisper words of wisdom such as: “I’ve tried both ends five times now!”, “I think this one must be defective!”, or my personal favorite “I don’t think these are the same brand they had out last week!”
Sounds like me plugging in a USB stick.
USB plugs are actually a great at-home demonstration of quantum mechanics. The USB plug exists in a quantum superposition of alignment - being simultaneously correctly aligned and not aligned until being inserted. Once insertion is attempted, the wave function collapses to a random alignment.
Damn… I thought I was the only one that noticed they switched the plastic bag brand.
They usually have the good green ones, but then sometimes they have the clear ones that are harder to open
All of them are clear ones here, you just notice these new ones are harder to open, and then you start reading the fine print at the lower end of the bag… yep, not the same ones as last week 😂.
I go to the broccolis and touch the usually wet crate first.
Highlight of my life was shortly after I broke my arm, someone saw me struggling with one of these one-handed and opened it for me like the damn lockpicking lawyer. I’ve considered taking my sling with me shopping ever since, in case I need another good Samaritan to open one of these godforsaken bags again
Breath on your fingers like you’re trying to fog up glass. Immediately open by running your fingers in opposite directions along the edge, using the additional friction you created.
Please don’t breathe your germs onto my vegetables
Well I hope you’re going to wash them anyway. There’s already a bunch more worse shit than a bit of breath condensation from a guy standing a few feet away breathing onto his hands.
No need to add to it, you have to pick them up and I’d rather not have more germs on them from some troglodyte putting their saliva on them
🤓 just wash your vegetables. Seems easier than relying on hundreds of people
🤓 no shit wash your vegetables, you still don’t need to put your fucking saliva on them
If you’re that concerned about every “troglodyte” out there doing anything that may remotely spread a couple of germs, I advise you wear a hazmat suit when you go out. And when you’re inside. Just, always. Life’s filthy, take precautions before you put something in your body (wash it, cook it, etc) but past that, man… good luck.
Asking for a modicum of sanitary practices isn’t an absurd request.
A “modicum” of sanitary practices doesn’t include something as innocuous as using some breath condensation to open a bag lol. Say that to the parents not watching as their kid snots all over the place. If you wanna call someone a troglodyte, maybe reserve it for the guy who sneezes without covering. The level of harm someone does by selecting their produce, tearing off a bag, and God forbid breathing on their hands is actually nil.
You can call it “innocuous” all you want, it’s still an unnecessarily unsanitary thing to do. Just because there’s worse examples of gross people doesn’t mean getting your saliva on produce in the store isn’t also gross.
Keep my vegetables out your fucking mouth.
Instructions unclear, bag is stuck in my glasses
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Just lick your fingers first! The grocery store sells food products, it and its patrons have to be hygienic …
/s
It takes three times longer to open a dog poop bag when you are out in the cold and can’t even feel your damn finger tips.
I make my dog help since he’s a habitual licker
I just tap the tips of my finger and thumb to my tongue for a bit of moisture and then they open right up.
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Or just ask anybody to lick your fingers.
But at that point I’ve already wandered the whole store and have touched any number of things that could have been manhandled by all the other finger-licking, unmasked hand-sneezing, butt-scratching, non-hand-washing straw men in the grocery store. One of those dudes is a septic tank cleaner, and he doesn’t wear gloves because he says he’s allergic! And soap burns when it gets into all the oozing sores on his hands.
There’s no way I’m licking my fingers until I’ve washed them or at least forgotten about my pus-leaking, poop-handed caricature!
Do you really think that way or are you just making a joke? Seems we humans went from making fun of Semmelweis to absolute germaphobes. Does no one get biology education anymore? Or is it more a failure to examine risk realistically? Freaks me out how fearful people are now days.
Always washed my hands regularly. Even as a toddler, I remember getting sticky ice cream on my hands and hating it. But I’m not manic about it, don’t give a shit worrying about bacteria/viruses/fungi/prions/whatever. (Unless I’ve been into something obviously rotten. Ask me about the fungus I found at camp today. Not touching that with a 10’ frog.)
Only time I really think about what I’m doing is after shooting or gunsmithing. Lots of nasty shit, above and beyond lead, you don’t want to ingest. Because heavy metals are for life. Bacteria? I’ll quote the retards from the pandemic, “i HaVe aN IMMunE sYsteM!”
LOVE your writing BTW! I should trawl your comments. (NM, just did. You’re smart and express yourself perfectly. We should be friends. Your damned skin cancer post got me thinking about the tiny spot under my pec. Not sure it’s healing, but at least it’s smaller and not blackish any longer.)
I am, in the parlance of our time, a silly goose. Sometimes I just like to take the opportunity to throw words together in novel ways.
It is true that the finger lick thing is not my preferred approach, but my actual reasoning is boring - I don’t like physical sensation of licking my fingers.
This is what I always did before covid but now I don’t anymore.
Me too! Back when we thought COVID could spread easily from surface contact, I found myself at the grocery trying to decide WTF I was going to do.
“Uh, dare I stick my fingers under the mask, or, what?”
Yep, works like a charm 👍. Not really hygenic, especially of you’re doing the shopping right after work, but hey, if it works, I’ll take it 🤷.
Should probably mention I pick up the fruits and veggies with the bag like picking up dog doo, so I’m not licking my fingers and then touching food on the shelf. It shouldn’t be an issue of licking dirty hands after work; you can wash them in a bathroom either coming into the store or before leaving your jobsite.
Meeh, doesn’t really matter IMO, they get peeled anyway. Not one of those “oh, I’m not touching that” kind of people. They’re gonna get peeled, you’re not gonna use them as sex toys… or are you 🤔.
Do you peel your tomatoes?
In some cases, yes, for some dishes I mean. But in general, no. Still, you wash them really good with water, so no problem there.
