Nice username

It makes me wonder what changed, though. Like the boomers still subscribed to this mindset as shown by the prevalence of “I hate my wife and she hates me” humour. But then it started changing to the point now where even dating seems to be down.

At one point, being alone was considered failure or at least sad. But I’ve got the mindset of “I’d rather be alone than with a partner that doesn’t meet my standards” and I don’t seem to be alone in that (heh).

I have married friends who haven’t had sex for over a year. They are still best friends.

Fucking your best friend for tax benefits.

Because marrying for love is a very recent development when it comes to the institution of marriage.

Marriage was created for the primary purpose of passing down family wealth, and ensuring that it stayed within the family. Marriage was a tool to secure political and economic relationships first and foremost. For most of history, consent between the couple to be didn’t even matter.

This fundamental reason behind marriage predates most religions, who later co opted it.

As time goes by, the actual reason behind traditions gets lost and forgotten, so most people just have some nebulous obligation to marry ingrained within them, e.g. my grandparents got married without even knowing each other, so people should be satisfied with anything better than that.

This extremely problematic history behind marriage is also why some progressives perceive marriage as an oppressive institution that is impossible to reform, and seek to abolish it entirely.

Ten key moments in the history of marriage - BBC News - https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-17351133

Be old/conservative, want to have sex at 18 because hormones, you can’t unless you’re married, get hitched for life to the first attractive person who shows up, wake up in 10 years and realize you married a stranger and you don’t really get along.

I’ve been with my wife for sixteen years next month. I’m still madly in love with her and I genuinely like being around her. I kinda hope she feels the same way about me.

Tbf, I do feel spouses have a duty to hold eachother to a higher standard than friends do. For mutual improvement, growth, etc… And shared ownership/finances is huge. And often raising kids. Marriage is a lot more than just friendship, though that is a massively important part.

it’s revealing right? there’s so much they genuinely do not understand or misinterpret it’s amazing they can get through the day without having yet another crisis about how someone they don’t like gets human rights or does something they think their god doesn’t approve of.

So I grew up homeschooled with a conservative Christian mother. A lot of people I knew got married from the same small group of families, right after high school, and started having kids right after. (I know 2 sisters from one family that married 2 brothers from another). It’s what everyone did. Nobody gave themselves any time to meet new people, just married someone their age and the opposite sex they’d grown up with. Also, nobody had sex or lived with one another prior to getting married so you don’t really know who you’re marrying. But when you’re taught from an early age that people of the “world” are misguided and will never understand you, that’s what you get. I didn’t fall into this, but my brother did.

Ever heard of shotgun marriages?

I wouldn’t say it’s normal, I think that’s just cope from people who’re scared of being alone or can’t afford to live separate.

I don’t think it’s all that complicated to consider platonic and romantic relationships different

It’s easy and common for the sparks to die down after 15, 20 years and you’re left basically living with someone who feels like an acquaintance. It’s a trope for a reason.

BTW there’s nothing wrong with that. Most people are mature enough by then to make it work.

I learned at my local humane society that when it was established it was for looking after unwanted children because children were considered chattel. I think marriage was a business transaction, at least in western cultures.

Marriage was the sale of goods in trade for goods or a further trading relationship.

The goods were a woman and a dowry, the trade was two families having a long term business relationship or if it was royalty then a short or long term peace treaty between countries or fiefdoms.

Likely the discussion of children in case of rich families and royalty back in the day, was how many wet nurses and maids were needed to take care of the children so they could be not seen and not heard until they were adults.

I doubt this is true. They probably had more to do with binding households together than any consideration of the well being of anyone involved. Our modern concept of raising children past the age of 6 isn’t even that old.

Yes, people should not get together at all, we should be territorial, like lions.

Not sarcastic or satiric.

Mmm yes 👅💦sexy fill 🪣💦me with dat💯💶 1040 😩🥵de IWS is gonna go aftew🕵️🥷🏿me ooo myaaah fill up that A💥3️⃣8️⃣ daddy 🫦🥵🥺she taxin on my 冰淇凌🍦til i whip out my gock 🍆🌊 an dey bussy🍑 snap, it till i wack wack and we smash ouw🍒 tidddies togeddew 👅👅me luv MAWWIAGE😤 only CHWISTIAN ALLOWED ✝️;;; ouw chwilden will PWAY 🙏🧎 to de OWNLY TWUE BANNER🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️⚧️WHICH WE STAND FOW… aww gay wives mattew 😹💪

I got married and it doesn’t come with any tax benefits 😭

Also aces who go falling in love without wanting sex.

This is me I think. My most long lasting relationship was basically me and my best friend hanging out, living together, and having sex. I loved her a lot but looking back I don’t think it was ever quite in the way she wanted me to. We talked about marriage but it never really sat right with me. It’s been hard to accept that I might be aro. When I think about it too much I just feel sad because I’m afraid the kind of relationship I really want is impossible. Best friends who bang. I don’t want the exclusivity, expectations, or implicit sense of ownership of a romantic relationship. I value my autonomy way too much for that to feel anything but suffocating. I want to just choose to be with my besties every day and oops 30 years have gone by and we’re still together vibing and fucking.

tbf, I’d rather be good friends with a business partner too. Even if we ended up falling out, at least I’d understand them well and be better able to understand their decisions.

Committing doesn’t overrule consent, nor does it inhibit your choice to change your mind. I agree marriage doesn’t give either partner a “right” to sex but neither does it give a “right” to a partnership.

I’m being a pedant, i assume you meant to use “committing” in two different senses there: agreeing while maintaining agency vs. agreeing and foregoing agency. The earlier comments could be interpreted using either sense to get a different meaning, and i think the former was intended.