• Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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    19 hours ago

    There is no bottom.

    There’s always more barrel to scrape. And then there’s the floor. And then there’s the ground beneath the floor. And then there’s miles of bedrock.

    That’s what you’re talking about, right?

  • Kitathalla@lemy.lol
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    24 hours ago

    I mean, I bet trump is pretty lubed on a consistent basis, with his uncontrollable, oh so very wet sounds he makes. I’ll put money on him being the bottom.

  • enbyecho@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Careful kids, the thought police are out in force today. Don’t say anything that might be deemed offensive by <some group I’m not part of> at some point in history!

    • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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      22 hours ago

      I think it’s reasonable to ask why bottoming is presented as inherently degrading/submissive. (Same with giving oral - the insult “cocksucker.”) The vast majority of gay men I know are mostly verse anyway, the distinction of top and bottom to some extent seems like a carryover from heterosexual culture.

      Like yes, it’s just a meme, but it’s revealing of larger problematic attitudes. I’ve made the same kinds of jokes too, but there would be nothing worse about Trump were he to receive anal sex from Musk (as unpleasant as that image is.)

      • UndercoverUlrikHD@programming.dev
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        19 hours ago

        Just a take look at history and how it all worked back in the Antiquity/Rome, which half the Internet likes to celebrate as gay friendly. It’s fairly ingrained in European culture/history.

        • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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          18 hours ago

          The “Nazi femboy” phenomenon seems to harken back to that. Patriarchal structures aren’t undermined as long as the receptive partner is submissive/feminine.

      • enbyecho@lemmy.world
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        21 hours ago

        I think it’s reasonable to ask why bottoming is presented as inherently degrading/submissive.

        Yes, it is. But it’s up to the bottom to decide how they wish to be represented. Not for some self-appointed language police on the internet to decide for them. Among people I know there is a wide variety of attitudes about this but it’s absolutely universal that top/bottom/switch (or verse as you say) is indeed a power dynamic (that’s kinda the point for many) but only in that moment. It’s not a reflection of inferiority or weakness and it’s funny to me that people would think that. Makes me think they haven’t ever been involved in any type of BDSM activities.

        Like yes, it’s just a meme, but it’s revealing of larger problematic attitudes.

        Who gets to decide what attitudes are “problematic”?

        • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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          21 hours ago

          I spent almost a decade of my life in TPE. Please do not lecture me about BDSM.

          The acts themselves are not inherently submissive, and most kinksters I knew were uncomfortable with that suggestion.

          I am deciding to express my discomfort with the terminology - that’s a decision I can make. I am a bottom, and submissive even! But I could also present the activity as dominant - in that I am lying back and expecting someone to provide me with pleasure. I have even “topped” individuals in a submissive way.

          The meme is clearly presenting receptive anal sex as inherently degrading, which is a common narrative.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      21 hours ago

      Don’t say anything that might be deemed offensive

      Haha. Sex between men is a power dynamic. Teehee. Real intimacy is unattainable between male lovers. Giggle. Pleasure from anal sex is shameful.

      • enbyecho@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Don’t be sad. Think of it as a performance. We don’t get to clap at the end because in some communities that’s considered offensive, but I have heard there will be cake.

          • enbyecho@lemmy.world
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            23 hours ago

            No. I went full “hey, here’s why I don’t think that’s offensive” and THEY went full snowflake.

            • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
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              20 hours ago

              It’s not offensive to you, but it is offensive to others. This is a fact that, throughout this conversation, you have absolutely failed to see or accept. That’s all anyone here has wanted you to see.

              I’m happy that you aren’t offended and you’re absolutely free to speak as you will. But your words have meaning that will differ from one person to another. That’s all.

              • enbyecho@lemmy.world
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                20 hours ago

                It’s not offensive to you, but it is offensive to others.

                I acknowledge that. I may not have spelled it out but I also didn’t say it wasn’t. You just assumed. You also assume that it’s offensive to some huge swath of people. How many? Who are they? Do you know them personally? Is there a percentage of the population at which we must stop saying certain things? Do people not members of the affected group get to decide this? I’ve literally encountered situations where people have told me not to use hand gestures common in my culture because it’s offensive somewhere to someone even though those people were not there and I was not likely EVER to encounter them in my entire life. I’ve had people make a huge fuss over correcting people who misgendered me even though I never fucking asked for it or wanted it.

                That’s the extreme we are at now.

                What this boils down to is people like yourself needing to control what other people are allowed to say and yes, even think. And I absolutely don’t mind putting effort in to respecting people’s wishes with regard to language when it’s asked for or it’s so obviously required. But that’s not the case here - the language police are always self-appointed. Look at this whole discussion. Did I miss all the gay men saying how offended they were by this meme? Did all my friends just lie to me when they’ve made jokes like this? Again, what percentage are we going by here?

                You say oh I’m “absolutely free to speak” as I will but that’s not really what you mean. You mean to say “oh you are free to be an asshole by our sole definition and decree and never mind what you think”.

                What gives you that power?

        • StarlightDust@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          1 day ago

          I remember when calling someone a Karen was a word with a meaning, specifically calling out bigoted white women - those who would punch down. This is the opposite; someone calling out bigotry.

        • maniclucky@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Assuming good faith question: The (false) dichotomy of top/bottom implies a power dynamic in which the bottom is subservient to the top. In reality, it’s often a simple preference and bottoms can domineer just as well as tops. Some prefer it that way. And there’s more than top and bottom. Versatile is the obvious third option (no or changing preference for position) as well as side (prefers non-penetrative sex).

          There’s this stereotype (may not be the right word) that extends from the above in that tops are more masculine or powerful by virtue of topping, due to the tie with being dominant. Thus bottoms are more feminine and subservient. All of that is false and represents the gay community in a pretty bad, oversimplified, sexist-somewhere-along-the-line way.

          The dom/sub axis is not the same as the top/bottom axis (not really an axis).

          • Trying2KnowMyself@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            1 day ago

            It’s not just the top/bottom part that’s problematic, it’s the entire post. The punchline is “Trump and Elon are gay for each other, isn’t that funny?” which centers the idea that it would be bad or wrong for them to be gay for each other, perpetuating the conservative stereotype that there’s something wrong with being gay.

            • enbyecho@lemmy.world
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              1 day ago

              Oh FFS.

              We (gay people) have been pointing out the hypocrisy of homophobes with this sort of joke for ages and will continue to do it because it’s fucking hilarious. We are, in doing so, celebrating that it’s wonderful to be gay and sad that they don’t see that or see there at times in-the-closet-like behavior.

              The last thing thing I need is a bunch of word police telling me what I can and cannot say.

              You know who IS making it seem like there’s something wrong with being gay? People like you.

                • enbyecho@lemmy.world
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                  1 day ago

                  Are you gay?

                  Are you not ok with being gay if you are? Are you not and experiencing latent homophobia?

                  Because that’s the only way you can possible conclude that it’s derogatory to call someone gay.

              • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works
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                1 day ago

                Nobody’s telling you what you can and can’t say. They’re telling you that what you said is in bad taste, and youre telling them to stop saying that.

                • enbyecho@lemmy.world
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                  1 day ago

                  LOL. I’m pretty sure saying “that is just homophobia, by the way” is exactly trying to tell people what they can and can’t say.

          • UraniumBlazer@lemm.ee
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            1 day ago

            Sure, but the joke here is turning the dumb jokes of the homophobes against them, right? Calling a homophobe “haha u’r gay n a bottom” is kinda using their homophobia against them, no?

            Also, I’m gay myself. If someone said “haha, u like taking it up the ass”, I would be like, “sure I do!”. Say this to a homophobe n they would be incredibly offended. So ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

            But sure, I get why the morals of this aren’t so straightforward.

            • maniclucky@lemmy.world
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              1 day ago

              You aren’t wrong. It’s rather philosophical at that point. There’s the “don’t say it because it’s shitty angle” (quasi-mine, though mine was more a explanation vs a held belief) vs the “take it back from them” angle. Both have pros/cons and I’m not going to pretend I have the ‘perfect’ answer. The truth is probably that whichever is more effective/least damaging probably varies by context.

            • maniclucky@lemmy.world
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              1 day ago

              It’s a dissection of why some people in the LGBT community may be offended. If you’re unwilling to try to see the perspective of others and choose to instead reject empathy, that’s a problem for you and the people around you. This internet stranger will continue to have a good day.

              Also, clout? On Lemmy? Oh good, I’ve got the support of all 12 of us…

              • enbyecho@lemmy.world
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                1 day ago

                It’s a dissection of why some people in the LGBT community may be offended. If you’re unwilling to try to see the perspective of others

                I don’t think you see the hypocrisy in your own comments.

                Empathy would be you not trying to tell people what to think and say and being willing to see their perspective.

                Also, clout? On Lemmy? Oh good, I’ve got the support of all 12 of us…

                Hey maybe that’s meaningful to you. It certainly seems to be to many.

                • maniclucky@lemmy.world
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                  1 day ago

                  I don’t think you see the hypocrisy in your own comments.

                  I never misunderstood that you’re close minded. I’ll even grant that it can be frustrating to feel like you need a formal course on such things and that it changes entirely too fast and that sometimes it all feels like bullshit (ask me about using the term demisexual wrong* on the internet one time). But the world is made better when we work to understand others, which you’ve demonstrated that as being a non-priority for you.

                  It certainly seems to be to many.

                  Then why are you here?

          • enbyecho@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            you really can’t see how using sexuality to mock someone you hate is homophobic?

            It’s not using sexuality to mock someone. It’s using hypocrisy to mock someone.

            You know what’s the same thing? When gay men call each other fags or lesbians dykes. It’s taking what was intended as derogatory and flipping it around to celebrate it. It’s the ideal response to bullying assholes of any kind.

            • noodlejetski@lemm.ee
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              1 day ago

              It’s not using sexuality to mock someone. It’s using hypocrisy to mock someone.

              I guess it would make it okay to call a black right-winger an N-word and talk about how he can’t swim and only eats chicken and watermelon, then?

              When gay men call each other fags or lesbians dykes

              and I’m sure you know that not everyone is comfortable doing that because of their lived experiences. it’s awesome that homophobic jokes don’t affect you, but not everyone can distance themselves from them.

              • enbyecho@lemmy.world
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                1 day ago

                I guess it would make it okay to call a black right-winger an N-word and talk about how he can’t swim and only eats chicken and watermelon, then?

                If you are black, yes, it would be ok. And many black people do. It’s the exact same defense mechanism.

                and I’m sure you know that not everyone is comfortable doing that because of their lived experiences.

                Then let them not be comfortable with it and let me and my people alone. Do not try to police my language just because perceive someone somewhere to have experienced some mild discomfort… and why? WHY DO I SAY THIS?

                Because honey, they need to arm themselves against that discomfort. You need to have a shield and that shield is OWNING the words. If you let people who use derogatory words own them you have lost power.

          • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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            1 day ago

            … you could just explain your logic you know.

            It isn’t the general consensus.

          • Trying2KnowMyself@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            1 day ago

            calls out a post for being homophobia topped with an extra serving of homophobia

            less upvotes than someone who thinks “haha gay” isn’t homophobic

            😒

            Thanks for trying.

      • enbyecho@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        This is just homophobia, by the way

        Tell us you are not a gay man without telling us you are not a gay man.

        Edit: Probably 85% of my social circle is some delicious flavor of queer. Kinda comes with being queer I guess. We make these jokes in part to normalize this sexuality and to make fun of hypocrites and bullies. It’s the same thing as when the kid in school says “that’s so gay” and you reply “oh really? You wanna get together later?”. This has come up a few times - the sensitivity of some groups to these kinds of jokes - and the conclusion is basically that people who object to them are generally either not queer or insecure about being queer and want to exert control over the conversation either to get cred with the community or to assuage their fears.

        • StupidBrotherInLaw@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          and the conclusion is basically that people who object to them are generally either not queer or insecure about being queer and want to exert control over the conversation either to get cred with the community or to assuage their fears.

          You have some pretty intense coping mechanisms. What’s wild is I’d wager it’s much more effort to make up these stories than to actually understand the point being made, yet here you are.

          • enbyecho@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            You have some pretty intense coping mechanisms.

            Talk to any queer person who lived through the 80s and 90s and you will find that desire to own the language of being queer was kind of a priority. I’ve been beaten, escaped rape, disowned by my family. So yeah figuring out how to cope was something we did.

            You on the other hand?

            What’s wild is I’d wager it’s much more effort to make up these stories than to actually understand the point being made, yet here you are.

            Go FYS. No seriously. I paid for this with blood. You can fuck ALL they way off. You make NO effort yourself to understand why I say the things I say and why it’s so incredibly offensive to me to have someone try to police my language.

            • StupidBrotherInLaw@lemmy.world
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              1 day ago

              At some point, some people lose the ability (or never had it) to understand or care about the perspectives of others. Instead you get this knee jerk “anyone who is offended by what I say is the thought police and didn’t live my life, blah blah blah”. They never stop to realize that they didn’t live the other person’s life and they might have different, equally valid reasons for finding something offensive.

              But no, it’s you being persecuted as you’re more entitled to say whatever you’d like and anyone who is offended should just shut the fuck up and deal with it. This sounds familiar… It’s what your lot’s MAGAs blather on about! Great job, you’re no smarter than a red hat. LOL

              • enbyecho@lemmy.world
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                1 day ago

                I’ll just leave this here:

                They never stop to realize that they didn’t live the other person’s life and they might have different, equally valid reasons for finding something offensive.

        • Gladaed@feddit.org
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          1 day ago

          Just because you are gay does not mean you are not homophobic.

          They likely meant that it’s a joke about power dynamics implying sexual preference. That is homophobic, but funny, but also homophobic.

          In short, just cause you like it up your arse doesn’t mean you are a spineless idiot with no power. Instead Let people enjoy things and try to stop the spread of these stereotypes even in jokes. You never know who hears them and what social climate you might propagate into the heads of others and youth. If you are aware of these caveats you are allowed to make the most offensive jokes.

    • TehBamski@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 days ago

      Are they though? I feel like they just make those that found Trump and Elon to be really weird and rotten, have a laugh. I don’t know anyone conservative, that has commented on these kinds of memes, to me or others I know.

      Or did you mean effective in pulling some political stance BBJ reversal moves?

      • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        It’s effective in driving a rift between Musk and Trump, as many news outlets are reporting that they’ve been contacted by the Trump PR Team to clarify that Trump is in charge after the “President Musk” taunting began. Trump’s superiority complex and vanity is absolute, so being upstaged by a positionless goon will make him very unhappy.

        Although, I concede that we don’t know what actual longterm effect if any this will truly have.

        • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          they’ve been contacted by the Trump PR Team to clarify that Trump is in charge after the “President Musk” taunting began.

          Ugh, the childish insecurities are not befitting of someone in charge of anything, let alone a country. Dude is seriously a loser. Despite all that money and power, at the core, he’s just an insecure loser.

        • TehBamski@lemmy.worldOP
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          2 days ago

          Oh I see. That’s a solid take on the situation IMO. Haha yeah. Time will tell what comes of this shit show being put on by goons, and loons, set on the verge of collapse, USA. Let dumpster fires light their way.

          • maniclucky@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            With those two divas fighting, it’s gonna be several dumpsters full of illegal fireworks. The inept president of the us vs the comparably inept richest man in the world riling up the same cult against each other. Do you think they realized they were in a highlander situation before they got in bed together?

    • isaaclw@lemmy.world
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      21 hours ago

      Think about how effecrive they could have been before the election.

      Instead the Dems played patty cakes with the republican party.

        • isaaclw@lemmy.world
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          21 hours ago

          Maybe. I dont think the memes are really that effective promoting any kind of material change.

          We’re already past the election, and Trump is riding high as a “very popular” politician.

          Anything the Left says is basically ignored.

  • FMT99@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Hey we got our first illegal immigrant president, if that ain’t woke I don’t know what is.