Any excuse to shit on men.
but if men were better people they’d be women. duh.
Well, obviously.
I can see why trans men feel excluded and bullied to suicide by you and all that.
weird. i don’t bully trans men. but i have seen a lot of women who do on twitter and other online spaces.
almost like my comment here was alluding to them specifically, but that would be sarcasm. and that doesn’t exist on the internet.
Telling trans men that they should stay women in order to remain good people is bullying. Assuming that there are no trans men in any given space is a form of cissexism. Many trans men will not appreciate your comment, nor will they appreciate “but you don’t count as a man, so I wasn’t talking about you.”
It costs nothing to put “cis” in front of “man” if you’re trying to punch up at straight people specifically. We both know you know what that word means.
Look up Poe’s law
“It’s just a prank bro” “its just a joke bro” “its sarcasm bro”
These, to me, are merely confessions of wrongdoing combined with a middle finger.
your intentions are pure but your time and energy would be better spent elsewhere
Like yes, i want a mommy to take care of me but that and me appreciating your house is not related 💀
oof
Had nice paintings on the wall, spotless place, no clutter, clean bed all before I got married. No paintings,dirty (not gross ) tons of clutter w/wife and kids.
same. and my car used to be spotless. now it has crumbs and wrappers everywhere.
My place looks like a laboratory. I’m still on the original primer on the walls. Blow me.
I’m adding wall plates for my Ethernet any day now…
In the wall? I just have the cable strewn across the floor.
I got some cable clips and routed mine along the top of the wall 😎
Through the wall, I have plenty on the floor.
lil snippy aintcha
A real charmer here lol
Generally true though. Society robs us of all joy on purpose. Can’t have shit as a man, because that looks kind of gay.
I’m getting all the stuff society does not want me to.
What the hell are you talking about? You can’t have a rug or society will call you gay?
Yes, that is why the Dude was so annoyed when he missed his rug.
It really tied his personality together.
What robs us of joy is caring about other people’s expectations for us. We are free when we stop worrying about what people think.
Man you can stop worrying about people but that sure won’t stop them from treating you like shit
Vote with your feet.
username checks out
Tough shit. I’m getting all the “gay” shinny shit, and there is nothing you can legally do about it.
I’m getting so much useless vane shit, just to spite society.
shinny shit
It’s funny because with two n’s in that word it just turns the word “shin” into an adjective.
Is that what you’re describing? A male living space full of shitty shins?
vane shit
Okay now you’re talking about a directional spinny thing you can put up on top of your house that tells you which way the wind is blowing. And I guess it’s spewing shit or something. I dunno. You’re the one who said it.
shiny adjective ˈshī-nē
: having a smooth glossy surface
: filled with light
: lustrous
vain adjective
: having or showing undue or excessive pride in one’s appearance or achievements : conceited
vane noun
: a movable device attached to an elevated object (such as a spire) for showing the direction of the wind
Lemmy is social media not a spelling test lol
Vanes are useful though.
Like a rug?
well it really ties the room together
Nobody cares and that was always an option.
Ehem… there’s a lot of places where they can legally do something about it… sadly. Agree on the sentiment, anyway.
seems like a dumb reason to do something, but… enjoy, I guess.
Rage bait is rage bait.
i’ve had women come over to my place and do this. and then tell me it made them uncomfortable because men are not supposed to be able to cook, clean, let alone decorate.
An example of women perpetuating toxic masculinity
no, when they do that they are just ‘expressing a preference for a manly man’.
and if you tell them how problematic (and self-defeating usually) their ideas are, they tell you how you just hate all women and you have no right to criticize their ‘preferences’ and clearly you are insecure and pathetic.
this same technique is also used to justify rabid racism against non-white men all the time. It’s always amazed me how women hide behind the ‘patriarchy’ and their ‘oppression’ only to rapidly perpetuate the rapidly racist and sexist nonsense they happen to believe in. I’ve also been on some date with women of color who do this, it’s not like restricted to white women.
What I will say is the women who do do this… are typically privileged and wealthy types whose main dispute with life is they are NOT privileged and wealthy enough… and that it’s an evil and oppressive society of awful men that is preventing them form making an extra 50-100K on their already 300K salary.
You’re just describing shitty people in general.
Birds of a feather, as they say.
deleted by creator
keep being you and i promise theres women out there to appreciate itfully retracted, your honor lol
the women who appreciate it are not attracted to me sexually. or they are already married. i have had plenty of female friends who admire my home and my cooking. but i’ve never been in a sexual relationship with a lady who saw it as a positive, only as a threat.
the issue with dating that people really struggle to be honest about, is most of us have limited options in potential partners, and it’s either accept what’s available, or date nobody. i know exactly who would work for me to date, but sadly none of those women find me attractive, and the one who do find me attractive, are the ones who i have absolutely nothing in common with, and who think my lifestyle choices and values make me a closeted homosexual.
and yeah i’d rather be alone than be in another relationship with someone who constantly makes jokes about how i’m secretly gay and i’m going to leave her for a man, or what a pussy I am for being human and being upset over events like the death of my parents. but that’s the type of woman who finds me attractive and wants to date me.
i have seen your comments about dating in the past and i gotta say you seem like the problem. some of the things you have said are straight up misogynist. sorry if i dont believe this is the norm
Right, it’s me that hates women, and it’s not you that’s sexist and making sexist generalizations based on a total lack of personal experience with men, which you do not regard as human beings, no doubt.
you know who also tells me I hate all women? every shitty abusive girlfriend I have rejected or stood up to.
and what’s funny, is the women i meet who weren’t that way, don’t tend to call me misogynist when I reject or refute them.
which you do not regard as human beings
What a pathetic fuckin tactic. Starting to see like you’re exaggerating and much more of the problem than you’re willing to admit.
As a man with successful and healthy relationships who has read a lot of your bullshit throughout a lot of these kinds of threads, you are 100% the problem person in your life and relationships.
Stop blaming other people for your shitty behavior. You’re the one behind the wheel.
you know nothing about me lmao but thanks for proving my point.
you know nothing about me, how is your belief about me legitimate, by your own logic then?
all you really know is i said words you don’t like. you self-reported as never dating men, so I find it kind of ironic that you seem to think you know anything about being in relationships with them.
are you sure I hate women, or is it more that you just hate men, because you don’t see them as people, as you have no personal experience in intimate relationships with them?
“Yeah I don’t get it, I just don’t get invited to anything anymore” - this person, on occasion, probably
y’all are so unbelievably triggered by an obviously lesbian woman making fun of straight men, holy shit lmfao
Cool story bro
thanks bro <3
I mean, what if they really need a mommy to take care of them because they never had one, or if they had, she was a POS?
that’s your fault. you should have made her a better mother when your were 3 years old instead of being selfish and depending on her, check your male privilege.
I think the sarcasm is being missed here
Well they don’t. They need therapy. Don’t put that on women.
Why is this being downvoted? What the fuck is wrong with you people?
This is the most misogynist thread I’ve ever seen on Lemmy
the problem comes from them expecting their partner to be their mommy and also fuck them
why is that a problem, and it not a problem for a lady to want me to be her daddy and also fuck her?
and i notice often, those are the same women who whine about men wanting them to be their mommy.
almost as if all/mostly projection, and anger at the opposite sex for not being fantasy fulfillment objects… and horror of horrors being human beings who are imperfect in almost every way.
Are you really struggling to grasp the idea that women can be just as mentally unhealthy as men?
Those are both problems. Those are both huge, glaring, red flags.
What fucking goblins are upvoting this childish misogynistic nonsense? You’re all fucking daft.
i am not talking about dommie mommies. i am talking abt the very real situation many women find themselves in with men who weaponize their incompetence and expect to be cooked for, cleaned after, and have all their emotional labor done for them.
i saw a study awhile back showing how a woman’s attraction to a man falls the more of this they have to do for them. it isnt just me being bitter, i am lucky enough to not be attracted to men at all so i dont have to worry abt this personally
I’m male. I have found myself in many real situations where women weaponize their incompetence and expect to be cooked for, cleaned after, and have all their emotional labor done for them. The same women who also claimed that they were doing these things for me, when they never did any of those things for themselves, let alone me.
My dispute wasn’t with you. I am simple pointing out how people’s descriptions of their relationships are often completely at odds with the reality of the relationship. I had a couple of gfs where the persons friends/parents tried to talk sense into the person, but they persisted in their delusional of persecution and unfairness. But emotionally, their ‘truth’ was that the one or two times they cooked for me over months/years was ‘everyday’, even though we saw each other like 3 times a week and they always spend time at my place, and yet somehow it was my fault that their place wasn’t clean or something because they were ‘cleaning’ so much at my place… when they never lifted a finger once.
But you know what they did do everyday, for me? Complain about how I wasn’t doing enough for them, how hard their life was, and how they shouldn’t have to work, or clean, or cook, at all ever.
Maybe grow the fuck up.
Edit: This is coming from someone with a piece of shit, abusive, negligent mom. Seriously, grow the fuck up, it’s a shitty excuse. Take accountability for yourselves, you fucking crybabies.
Oof, sorry to learn on what you went through. I hope you’re in a better situation now.
I would have imagined part of “growing the fuck up” is forming a support network like a “found family”. In this case, taking accountability of yourself means not outsourcing your emotional regulation to other people, but I don’t see why having someone’s shoulder to cry on is a bad thing if the moment calls for it.
And I do think it’s reasonable for anyone to wish they have a positive parental figure in their life. From what I was reading in support groups of people with abusive childhood backgrounds, they tend to grieve on parents they wish they had (but never got), and it helped them move forward that they have a substitute parent figure to help them stand up on their own.
Getting back to the original image, the OP seemed to assume by default the straight dude is pathetic because of how he reacted to her house’s interior. For all we know, she might have assumed wrong and the dude just likes those things because it jives with his preference.
If you have to write a thesis to attempt to justify your arrested development and mommy issues as a normal and acceptable trait then that’s a good sign that you need to grow the fuck up. You are nobody’s responsibility but your own, learn to wipe your own ass.
Dude, you’re using the most aggressive language towards others in this whole thread. You’re not exactly making a convincing argument that things are as simple as ‘growing the fuck up’ given how you’re refusing to engage in sensitive meaningful conversation.
Women aren’t your mommy, grow the fuck up.
I cannot imagine anyone jumping to that conclusion, this has to be a joke. Like, when I first saw the house of my now husband, the front door opened to a big empty room and my first words were "oh, this is wonderful, it’s so empty it looks like a ballroom, you could have a big party here!'. Like, sure, he cannot decorate and defers to me on home renovations now because he always likes what I design (I design, he has veto power) but how is that dysfunctional? He was just fine with the open space, it worked and a house is for the people who live there. And a big empty space is such a flex in a way, like look - I have more house than I need. Guys aren’t waiting around hoping someone comes and fills that up, they are enjoying the space, right?
If someone compliments your home, I just can’t see getting mad about it.
no it’s legit. i’m male and i’ve had women do this to me when they come over to my place. more than once.
a lot of people have awful expectations/low opinions of the other sex and get super angry at you if you don’t live up to their low expectations of them
you think the home thing is bad? try being a dude who is emotionally open and honest. every lady says she wants that, but the vast majority of them are totally repulsed by it. i even had a couple of girlfriends who were so convinced men are all therapy needing emotionally student idiots, that when i was try to communicate they would just ignore everything i said and then tell me how i really felt. because my words didn’t register as legitimate to them, they were women, and they knew the truth about how all men can’t really properly express their feelings and clearly what I was doing was fake/false/wrong or something. it was utterly insane.
people are really really really wedded to their beliefs about gender roles and gender behaviors, to the point of total delusion that when someone doesn’t live up to their sexist expectations, they just reject the evidence in front of their face and make up a fake story to maintain the preexisting belief.
tl;dr: all men are emotional student idiots. if there is a man who isn’t, he’s not really a man, he’s secretly gay. because gay men aren’t men either, or something? i dunno.
I struggled with this for a while. A woman saying she wants emotional honesty does not mean she swears to still find you attractive regardless of what you reveal. She just has a feeling of unease and wants that to go away. So, reassure while maintaining sophistication and intrigue.
There is nothing to ‘struggle with’. It’s hypocrisy, plain and simple.
Racists also hide behind their ‘feelings of unease they want to go away’. that doesn’t make them not racists, it’s actually what defines them as racist, because the difference of race is what causes the feeling of unease.
What you want to do, is just perpetuate sexist hypocritical bullshit. Because it ‘feels good’.
what if there was something more important than someone’s feelings of attraction? or their feelings of attraction were rooted in sexist racist bullshit?
all you have to do is flip this around. if a woman opened up to me about her feelings, and i found that unattractive, would that be acceptable for me to reject her for it and call her names or tell her she is not ‘really a woman’? or would it make me a horrible person?
I purposefully keep my spaces open because I like the feeling. I like not having every inch of my house not need something in it.
I like to think of it like goldfish. A goldfish will grow to be the size of the tank you put it in, and that’s good for a goldfish, but I don’t want to be a goldfish - I don’t need to jam stuff into every corner of the house just because a corner happens to be kind of empty.
Technically that’s not good for the goldfish 🥴 they grow to the size of smaller tanks then it stresses their bodies to not be able to keep going to their natural size. I’d have to look it up what the recommended tank size is but hope folks look it up before getting one!
cool. I find people who live that way to be really offputting and their spaces off putting. it feels like they live in a hotel. it’s creepy af.
i like people who have stuff and their home looks like people actually live there instead of it being staged for sale.
Someone who jumped to this conclusion was probably looking for a conclusion to their preconceived theory.
That or they are making a joke to dunk on people who do that
Maybe the dude was just… you know.
Poor.
Came from an environment that was usually a mess, chaotic, disordered, and he was genuienly impressed by how simple things, in order, can give a significant sense of safety and stability.
Maybe he’d never seen that before, maybe he had no model of a tidy and peaceful living space.
The same scenario could happen with anyone, of any sex or gender.
Man, broad societal levels of narcissism are just off the fucking charts these days… its the literal opposite of solidarity, of empathy.
Oh hey!
It’s that user.
The user who types.
They type like this.
I don’t really know why.
But they loves single sentence paragraphs.
It’s not a problem.
I just don’t get why they do it.
Maybe they’re trying to build suspense?
Idk it’s just so…
…mysterious…
God forbid someone on Lemmy trying to make their comments easier to read
You’re welcome
Or maybe he was just being nice? I can’t imagine being invited to friend’s new house and not giving compliments unless im like worried about them moving into an unsafe situation.
Sure, maybe he was being performatively praising when he didn’t actually care that much at all about the home’s decor itself, but wanted to affirm the resident’s decor choice regardless.
Aka ‘being nice’.
Maybe a million different possible things.
Why do you imagine its a new house, like the resident just moved there?
You could just… be going to someone’s home for the first time. Maybe they’ve lived there for years, maybe they just moved in, who knows?
My point here is that there’s a lot of additional context required for your interpretation. Your interpretation also manufactures and then ascribes an intent.
My interpretation only requires that men who were raised poor exist, and does not manufacture or ascribe an intent.
What a bunch of argumentative bullshit. Have fun being contrarian. 🙄
Its analysis, not an argument.
With which the author agrees.
Oh, you brought a shovel? That tracks.
Okay so maybe it wasn’t a new home, but it was their first time seeing it. What difference does it make?
But no, you’re right imagining someone’s traumatic upbringing is a much smaller stretch.
Don’t feed the trolls, neighbor. 🙏🏽
Growing up my house was always trashed. Parents with depression and full time jobs don’t leave much time and energy for cleaning up, and there’s only so much children without guidance can do.
So once I had my own defined space, it was basically minimalist to expedite cleaning. I didn’t start getting more stuff, even clothes, until my partner moved in.
Me growing up, it wasn’t quite that bad for myself, but some of my neighbors were from… way more fucked up families.
They had basically this exact same ‘Wow.’ moment, just… coming over, and seeing that… order was possible, things could be put basically back in place after use, etc.
They had no previous concept of it.
I remember going over to one of their houses once and literally stepping in dogshit, inside.
They just… forgot to let the dog out, I guess. Regularly enough that this was annoying but basically normal.
Depression is a bitch, and that makes you not want to clean. Then the grossness makes you more depressed.
Never ending loop.
I know.
I’ve been there.
I did eventually get better… but… it really really sucks.
if he was poor then he’s an asshole for having been poor.
people don’t have empathy for people who are poor. just malice.
I live an upper middle class lifestyle in my 40s. i haven’t been poor for 20+ years, and yet for some people, it’s considered something you can never live down, it’s an original sin from which you can’t ever be washed clean. you would be amazed at how openly hostile and violent people are towards those who are not as economically fortune as they are. rich and privileged people do not regard the poor and middle-class as human beings.
Art on the wall? Rugs? I’m from Eastern Europe, best I can do is rugs on the wall
When the carpet are the drapes
Wall rugs are art
They can really tie a room together.
Mind if I take a look?
Noooo!
Rugs on the wall, art on the floor?
Now just cover some shelving with curtains and you’ve got yourself an episode of Decorating Cents.
I’m Kurt Wenner, best I can do is paintings on the floor
