Even though the roots of the word seem to stem from transphobic culture and pseudoscience, it was nice to be able to verbalize and better conceptualize the specific emotions that I had been feeling ever since I realized that my long suffering may have been caused by gender dysphoria: I could finally, for the first time in my life, feel a slight… Tingling? Infatuation? Just by imagining, envisioning, that someday I will attain a female body makes me feel lighter inside. I don’t have to hate myself, my body, my gender expressions. And, on top of all this newly found freedom, I feel sexually viable. As a potential partner to others, as somebody that people can actually desire. It’s an effect of the euphoria, of the realization that I can be something, or someone, else than what this ciscentric society has forced upon me.
Just venting thoughts and feelings that I cannot vent anywhere else. No need to reply! ☺️
Julia Serano wrote about how “autogynephilia” has a really strong connection to Ray Blanchard’s incomplete, kinda transphobic, misogynistic theory. So if you read it by its dictionary definition, using that word immediately invokes something which we have disproved. However, if you read “autogynephilia” just by it’s roots and construct its definition just from its spelling without giving a thought to Blanchard, you get something like “Female/Feminine Embodiment Fantasies” which describes real feelings that some transfem people have, and those feelings are valid!
I’m so happy for you that you are finding self-acceptence and trans joy, but what you describe has nothing to do with autogynephillia, and I would suggest not using the term to avoid confusion. The entire concept behind autogynephilia is transphobic BS, not just the word.
I’d appreciate if we had like a “did you mean” link or a redirect page on the wikis and dictionaries to help people like OP find a better word to describe their feelings without Blanchard.
Thats a good idea
That is also what the article says, but it also says that trans people have began “reclaiming it” or whatever. Which in itself is confusing. Anyway, thanks for the heads up! I don’t intend to make it part of my vocab. 👌
Regardless what that article says, no we aren’t.
maybe we should tho
nah
I don’t know if it’s worth reclaiming, I, at least, have no need for the reclaimed meaning of the word, but, very very simply, “reclaiming fascist words good”, in general.
So, if someone wants it, I think it should be accepted and supported.
I am a trans guy, not mtf, but wanted to add: “autogynephilia”, aka “finding yourself attractive as a woman”, is also experienced by cis women, at about the same rate as in trans women.
Also, finding yourself attractive is very common in general, with cis and trans men reporting feeling autoandrophilia. Not sure about levels and experiences of intersex or nonbinary people, as unfortunately studies don’t include those groups.
Here is a quick source, but there have been a number of studies on this over the years, all showing that this experience is very normal in humans: https://slatestarcodex.com/2020/02/10/autogenderphilia-is-common-and-not-especially-related-to-transgender/
This kept me in the closet for way too long and I’m fucking angry about it. Because I spent my life feeling an all-encompassing void of self-hatred having to do with the way I look, my body, my face etc. When I finally let myself experiment with presenting femme that self-hatred melted away. I didn’t suddenly get hot, i didn’t suddenly get fuckable, but I’m capable of self-care and self-love and self-respect for the first time in my life. Making someone feel like that is a perversion is a fucking disgusting thing to do.
Thanks for your comment.
yeah it always seemed weird to me that people hold up being attracted to yourself as some unforgivable perversion. why wouldnt you want to find yourself attractive? talk about a confidence boost.
since i started transitioning ive pretty much exclusively chosen clothes that i think make me look cute, and its been working out great. ive gotten more complements from strangers on one of my favorite dresses in the few months ive had it than i got in 30 years as a man. i was never able to dress well as a man because no matter what i wore i hated it, and i had to be told by others if something looked good on me.
So relatable i might as well have written it myself.
ughugughughugh yeah, transmedicalism
