The rule is buy the default-gendered variant. If there a special “men’s section” or “women’s section” for a certain product category it means you’ll be ripped off.
Especially women’s. In French we call it “la taxe rose” (the pink tax).
it’s called pink tax in English too
I mean unless it’s a more expensive product marketed to men, in which case it’s called an example of fragile masculinity.
I call it the Axe Tax
I think that’s brilliant
i don’t get the connection
the French have such a way with words, that’s almost as good as “le cigarette will cause le cancer”
Not sure I appreciate the irony. But you’re correct that it sounds very similar in french.
One could say: “la cigarette va causer le cancer” although that sounds very “english” and is probably what someone who learnt french knowing english would say. The more “fluent” way would be “fumer peut mener au cancer”. But both are technically correct.
Damn, I wasn’t expecting my daily French lesson yet here I am. I love this place man.
🍺 Cheers my friend.
Santé :)
Quand aux français, ils disent “fumer tue”.
plutôt ce qui est écrit sur le paquet, mais ouais.
Je pense que c’est devenue naturel au point que la phrase nous vienne naturellement à la bouche pour parler des conséquences de la cigarette. Après tout, elle tue par le cancer, pas par accident de la route ou overdose.
I am so upset that the French cigarette meme lied to me
Thanks for the lesson, friend!
Now men’s products have a “for men” or “tactical” tax where they strap fake MOLLE on something that really doesn’t need it.
Men’s socks are higher durability
It’s a lot more than socks. Went looking for a duffel coat once for work and checked both isles in stores. Mens coat - nice woven and well fulled 100 percent wool, thick quality stuff, Women’s isle, cheaper felted wool half the thickness… Same price, same basic style, same store.
Ever since whenever I go looking for stuff I check both isles. Higher quality fabrics are generally reserved for men’s items though women’s stuff is priced the same. You’d never know the difference if you only shopped one gendered option.
Off-topic comment.
I appreciate the misuse of isle instead of aisle. The mental imagery of navigating around stores compromised of isles makes me want to go shopping so I can go on an island hopping adventure looking for booty to haul back to my kingdom.
It could be highly inconvenient, since the Isle of Mann and Isla Mujeres are so far apart.
Apart from fashionistas, “standard” men’s style is far more static. Cuts, materials, colors, and patterns don’t deviate far from the baseline from year to year, so garments tend to be a bit sturdier and longer lasting.
As an example, picture a guy in a Henley, cargo shorts, and work boots. What decade is he from? Okay, now put him in straight leg jeans and a flannel shirt. Was this picture taken yesterday? In the 90s? 2005? Who knows, guys have been wearing that for ages, and will be for ages to come.
However, pre-pandemic I think high-waist flares were one of the main jeans trends for women. Five years later, it’s low-waist straight-leg, right? Or have they shifted back to skinny jeans? I think early-2010s was the last time capris were the statement look, but hell, I truly don’t know. The point is, women’s styles seem to change not only year-to-year but season-to-season. Today’s trend is tomorrow’s faux pas is next week’s retro is next month’s vintage… sure, I’m exaggerating, but women’s fashion does lend itself more to sweeping change.
The criminal part is that woman-specific options are underconstructed and overpriced compared to men’s clothing. That, and the lack of pockets. Seriously, my heart goes out to anyone who wears clothing targeted to women. I’d be fucking lost without pockets.
The criminal part is that woman-specific options are underconstructed and overpriced compared to men’s clothing. That, and the lack of pockets. Seriously, my heart goes out to anyone who wears clothing targeted to women. I’d be fucking lost without pockets.
Trans girl who sews her own clothing here: I’ve honestly stopped bothering to add pockets to my clothes, because my handbag has REALLY grown on me and takes care of most of the need. Seeing all the guys doing pocket-checks, when I just grep my handbag and have everything in it is almost getting funny at this point. 😊
That said: Fuck the fashion industry, for so many reasons, including for what they did to fashion! Like: Even if we ignored all the human-rights abuses, the trash quality that they produce, the needlessly bad impact on the environment and all of these things, and we really shouldn’t(!!), I just assume most people here have already heard about those, that industry still has no fucking idea of what personal style is and how to support it. It’s a bunch of business-assholes that decide that some thing X is “in” and then you get only that, with the difference between X and the previous X being minute details in the cut, but it still remains the same concept of short, narrow skirt for example.
You are looking for a ankle-length circle-skirt (=flat lying skirt, very wide)? Tough luck, sew it yourself, nobody offers that! You want a long dress with long sleeves? Yeah, that doesn’t exist! (Unless you sew it yourself, like I have, which gave me the most comfortable piece of nightwear I’ve ever owned that I’m even somewhat comfortable to wear in public if I add a visual seperation with some form of belt.) I could go on…
In short: The fashion industry has sold people on the insane idea that jeans with a slightly different cut are a different clothing-style. They are not!
I suppose that assumes a woman cares about fashion and that fast fashion is something every woman wants to buy into. A lot of women I know shop vintage because they want items they can wear reliably for years and modern items do not offer that level of quality. If you want to buy out of the fast fashion assumption of “need” it seems like you have to literally go back in time because if you buy fast fashion it is literally trash in a year. Nobody will thrift it worn because it will be worn out. It doesn’t seem like brands have options for women that lie outside of this system in addition to those junky options or offer those junk items at a lower cost. If all you can buy new is junk then stepping outside of the system requires you to avoid the ease of simply buying new off the rack. It requires work and luck. If you grew up inside that system that’s your established normal.
We can say that mens fashion is static… But why can’t both gendered fashion silos have more static options or at least price fast fashion at a different price point to reflect those cheaper materials? It seems like saying one sex has inherent requirements for fubgibillity which seems honestly kinda sexist. There’s a lot of men who want more interesting fad like stuff and women who want staples that will last a decade.
Oh, I full-on agree, hence that final paragraph. I’m one of those idgaf-about-fads types, but I know plenty of folks who do care and who get hosed by the system as it currently exists. Fashion as a whole is pretty much a racket as far as I’m concerned. But what isn’t these days?
The reason they won’t price fast fashion bs lower is because they don’t have to. Trendy things sell at inherently predatory price points, then they declare a new “what’s hot” before the sales drop off. Capitalism is a mfer, and folks are exploited at every rung of the fashion ladder.
I guess that would change if enough people stopped buying in, but do either of us see that happening any time soon? I don’t, and as frustrating as it is, I think you don’t, either. So garments marketed primarily to women remain pocketless and flimsy, and those marketed primarily to my-tastes-don’t-change men continue to trend towards work-wearish looks that are at least marginally sturdier at roughly equivalent cost.
Except for those goddamn fishing shirts. Who decided that was a thing? They’re terrible.
From my experience all of mens clothes have higher durability. I could just be buying shitty clothes, but ill have ripped stitches and fallen buttons a week after purchase while my husband is still sporting the same 15 year old wardrobe with minimal damage. My shirts are so thin i can see clear through them and would need to layer 3 to match my husband’s shirts. I dont purchase them off amazon/temu/etc, but it feels like that’s where they came from most of time.
I just want to smell like something other than tree, cold tree, or beach episode tree.
I’d prefer not to have any smell, but that is apparently really hard to do.
And why do all products for men have to look like I’m cosplaying a sci-fi tactical commando?
I assume having no smell is really hard to do and to cover up the slight chemical smell they put a stronger smell over it. That being said I am definitely not a deodorant taste tester so 🤷♀️
… this makes me slightly suspicious that you are, in fact, a deodorant taste tester.
Mmm push pops
Same reason “gamer” PC peripherals all look like Gigatron’s nut sack.
I have persistent skin issues (psoriasis) and most specialized products are unscented.
This may be the singular upside to this situation ^^`
You are not alone. I have bad eczema and my wife has psoriasis as well and all of our care products are mostly scent free. At this point I think I’d rather not smell like sandalteakvanilla beach wood lol
I found that out when I had an allergy skin patch test and found out one of the things I’m sensitive too is fragrance. The most important thing was finding a hair dye that I’m not allergic too but after 10 years, I’m starting to get a little itchy when I get my hair done.
I also prefer to have no smell, speed stick makes a unscented deodorant and I have a scentless body wash, havent found a good shampoo yet though. Just using head and shoulders.
How about tree chopped into firewood?
Sawdust, yes.
Idle firewood loitering, no.
Burning tree bones, yes.
Vanilla cookies, fuck yes.I don’t like wanting to eat myself constantly
Well hello there!
Building furniture out of oak, being in and around that much white oak sawdust and shavings, made me smell like an empty bourbon bottle.
My old job also made me smell like an empty whiskey bottle, but it was an office.
What about sea salt & gunpowder? Someone might question your masculinity and sexual orientation otherwise!
Hear me out, gunpowder and ozone so you smell like what astronaut say space smells like.
Ahh, you are a manly man and ready for Duke Cannon Naval Supremacy bar soap or perhaps Victory! is more for you.
***Google Duke Cannon for an amusing marketing strategy of men’s products. Who doesn’t want a Big Ass Bar of Soap?
One day I plan to enter the cologne phase of life but it hasn’t happened yet. I like smells but I don’t like mall shopping.
Me frequently accidentally buying women’s t-shirts cause I like those designs better.
I hope you still rock em
As long as you buy the right size it shouldn’t be an issue, most clothing in standardized sizes aren’t much different between the genders besides the number being different (a men’s size S will be a women’s size M) so as long as you get the size right it’ll be fine.
Edit: Size comparison flipped the wrong way, fixed it.
I think you might have flipped your size comparison, but the concept holds.
Yeah I just realized my mistake of getting them backwards, I just fixed it. Glad I was still able to make the point even though I made an embarrassing mistake 😅
Jokes on you, the buttons will be on the wrong side! Ahahahahaha
Edit: yes I know t-shirts don’t have buttons. Bad attempt at humour. Not deleting because I stand behind my mistakes.
Me frequently accidentally finding myself in the men isles after finally finding a top with a high neckline.
I have a nice Pikachu hoodie which said it’s for women on the site I ordered it from but I didn’t care because it’s cute and I liked it. The only thing that’s mildly annoying is having to think about the sizing difference (which I guess is kind of the point of the separate sizing numbers, just to be that extra bit of annoying for people who want it anyway).
Products for women also smells better
Says you. I, personally, really enjoy the smell of teak.
All my men’s products have completely artificial smells like “Cool Rush”.
One of these is real: “Jungle Road”, “Arctic Blast”, “Alpine Machete”, “Lost at Sea”, “Mayday Mayday”, “Why is nobody reading these and calling for help”
My vote goes to Arctic Blast
I think I have that last one as a body wash.
It depends, I find that many of the Men’s products can smell more “normal” and less rich.
But then there’s old spice – which I use daily but I don’t think is as pleasant as women’s deodorant scents (but generally work better in antiperspirant imo so it’s not worth thinking too much about.)
Next time you have the opportunity give Old Spice’s Wolfthorn scent a try and tell me it’s not just orange Starburst.
I hate overly perfumed stuff so I avoid those.
Me buying women’s vitamins because they’re the only ones with iron at the local dollar store.
I do this. You’d be shocked at the number of womens supplements that don’t have iron either.
There’s actually a really good reason for that. The body doesn’t have a good way to get rid of excess iron except by bleeding, so it’s fairly easy for someone without a period to get iron poisoning from vitamins with iron in them. Women’s vitamins assume the person taking them loses a significant quantity of blood every month. Not only should men not take them, women whose birth control eliminates their period completely shouldn’t take them either.
This isnt entirely related, but your comment made me think about the time I went into CVS to buy multivitamins and noticed all of the “men’s” included a picture of an orange while the “women’s” did not. All the other fruit pictured were the same between the two, but not oranges.
Yarr, that be because lads be worryin’ more about scurvy than lasses, matey!
Earlier this year a doctor advised us (male and female) to take prenatal vitamins, and yesterday a nutritionist told us the same. They really just have everything anybody needs, apparently.
I did that with buying “one-a-day” vitamins for seniors because they were a quarter the price of standard men’s vitamins. I checked the stats and ingredients, they were about identical and from the same brand.
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They absolutely break down and lose potency, depending on storage conditions.
And by higher quality they mean jammed full of things that don’t actually enhance the product but just act as fillers to make it seem fancy
And the nature of which has to change every 3 months so that a new and improved version can come out.
still smell better than anything men’s deoderants put out.
Want to have a musk like a spiced up skunk in a damp forest? Then right this way, gents!
Me at the grocery store yesterday: “These cookies look delicious! And they’re 90% off!”
Wife: “Those are lactation cookies…”
Me: “I didn’t know that was a thing… They still look good though…”
Lactation cookies ??? What is that ???
Cookies that came from tits ???Food that contains nutrition, galactagogues, and folk-remedy ingredients to help with (human) milk production. Arguably, they’re just food.
Oh that term is such wasted potential! I thought it was going to be about radical public breastfeeding as a form of protest!
why did they have to take that name for a milk boosting plant and not the name of an elete squad of cyber astronauts or something :/
Because the word for galaxy comes from milk haha
Yeah “milky way galaxy” is a redundant phrase.
I thought it’d be a synagogue for Galactus.
I call bullshit on this kind of product! This just reminds me too much of the phytoestrogens that ruthless scammers sell on places like Amazon to trick uninformed trans girls into giving them money and believing they receive some medication, when it does nothing whatsoever for them.
The only “phytoestrogens” that actually do something are “phytoestrogens” sold by trusted homebrewers that are labeled that way to avoid seizure at the border.
In order to achieve medical effects, you need proper medication, in this case probably Prolactin. (I’d have to check to make sure, but there are plenty of reports of trans women who succesfully induced lactation medically to feed their kids and had no problem whatsoever after that point.)
Ohh…i see
Sad thing it’s not cookies that came from tits (or breast milk)
But at least with that miracle cookies i can make the real lactation cookies
Just your daily reminder that “Goodenough” is a real last name
It’s naturally meant for someone who is breastfeeding and contains nutrients which would be helpful in that process, though ultimately they are just food, for someone who isn’t breastfeeding the extra ingredients don’t have any effect (it’s not like they’ll cause lactation in males if that’s what you’re wondering).
Imagine being able to shoot cookies out your nips. That’d be fuckin’ useful.
/s
Damn, Silver Tongue is pissed… Actually, that’s probably par for the course.
I love this meme and usually snortle every time I see it, but the text on this one has me full on giggling. Thanks for cheering me up 🥰
But did they taste good?
So many companies are dumb and only advertise to women on products that can be used for everyone.
They’re not dumb, marketing towards woman is just more effective
Just saying as a guy in my 20s I never thought I could use all those products till I got married. Never thought of it
I judge my body wash on the basis of if it can clean my antiperspirant off by the end of the day. (Shower at night before bed). Many men’s body wash require you to do a lot to get it to clean… Tried a seasonal pomegranate something one aimed at women one time and it smelled great and I hardly had to do anything more than just apply it. Win win. Then I never found it again. Dove products are cheap usually near me, some are terrible, some are amazing. I’m sure if I was smarter I’d read the ingredients and figure out what works best and verify it was in the new product, but maybe I’ll leave that for next year.
Just use regular non-antiperspirant deodorant. Anti-perspirant is bad for you and for your skin. It just forces your body to try even harder to sweat through it on top of the questionable chemistry. If you have a particular issue with the stank, just keep some with you or keep it at work to re-up. Not only will your armpits thank you, but so will your shirts. You can do that or keep using harsh chemicals for your armpits, harsh chemicals to get their residue off, and go through clothing like it’s toilet paper—or give your body the chance it hasn’t had since puberty to maybe cool off a bit. Give it a whirl.
Yeah nah, i think I’ll stick to my antiperspirants. Having to spray periodically seems inconvenient
I don’t know what anti perspirants you’ve been using, but Rituals ones don’t stain or leave residue on any of my clothes.
I just assume that if it cleans off harder to remove substances like antiperspirant, it also would remove the oils and what not easier that get on me elsewhere. Grease, whatever. Need to remove oils from ivy, id rather it comes off easy and not have to find out a missed a spot. Convenience is a lazy man’s paradise.
Mens boots, cargo shorts, overalls, and hats are a god damn vibe. Just the sheer fucking quality.
WHY CANT I HAVE THE LUXURY OF AQUIRING GOOD CARGO SHORTS!! WHYYYY
My boots’ gender is work. I’m the lady in steel toe work boots regardless of where I am because it’s both an aesthetic and because they’re broken in
As a man I wish I had more options. the JCP Pennys near has like two and a half floors of womens clothes and small mens section that takes up the last half.
I’m a woman who buys my tshirts in the men’s section because all women’s shirts have become crop tops, or are too low cut to wear to work, or too tight fitting to be comfortable. It looks like we have a lot of options, but I think it’s more like we have a lot of non utilitarian options. Like a bunch of clothes you can’t do anything in. Like go hiking, or bend over to pick up something you dropped without exposing yourself.
I can get a men’s tshirt at target that fits exactly how I want it to(not too short, my boobs aren’t hanging out, not too baggy either) for about $8-$10. A women’s ‘tshirt’ will cost $15 plus and have all the issues I mentioned before.
But then again I guess the grass is always greener right?
Womens clothes so often suck in terms of quality compared to men’s. My partner is nb, but fits women’s clothes best… They can’t find suits of anything like the kind of quality you can for men’s. Certainly not in more than a couple of styles.
If I buy a shirt and it disintegrates in a year I’ll never buy from that company again.
That’s every company though
Not every one, and some brands specifically sell thicker cotton.
Me and my 2 Litre, $3 “Jug-O-Body-Wash” feel called out.
Shampoo, body wash, laundry detergent, engine degreaser, drain cleaner, ant poison and steak sauce.
“𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓕𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻 𝓦𝓪𝓼𝓱™︎ 𝓲𝓼 𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓲𝓰𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓯𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓾𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓮𝓯𝓽 𝓮𝔂𝓮𝓫𝓻𝓸𝔀.”
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Cheaper? My ass.
Men’s depilatory cream costs around 30% more here, and it’s the same product, except with a slightly different fragrance.
Most of the time I buy women’s products because they are both cheaper and of higher quality.
This, in my case, is true for everything except razor blades.
I know a guy that used a women’s hygiene product once by mistake. Now he’s a she and doesn’t have a penis anymore. Make sure your family knows the dangers involved of using the incorrect gendered hygiene product. It’s like plugging a 120v appliance into the 240v outlet.
Poor guy shaved his penis off 😔 My condolences and best wishes
All my appliances are rated 120/240v. Does that mean I’m bi?
Probably more Non-binary my dude. Bi is more about what type of appliance voltage you’re attracted to rather than what you got in your house.
Believe it or not, straight to jail
So that is how school transgender surgeries work.
I knew there had to be some kind of a catch.
Oh well, still worth it. :)
Doesn’t happen to everyone, I should know, I’ve done it plenty of times and I’m still not a girl.
I’m gonna just keep trying. One dice roll I’ll eventually reach critical success!
Well the question is, do you want to be a girl or want to be trans? Generally that’s usually enough to mean it is so already.
Good point, razor blades for thicker hair makes a discernable difference. Luckily, double edged safety razor and a steel handle make this category practically free
nowI have very course facial hair and switching to women’s razors pretty much solved my post-shave irritation problem. In order of quality for my face it goes: men’s disposable razor << safty razor < women’s disposable razor.
Oh interesting! I’ll have to check it out, thanks 🧔♀️ some women’s razors I’ve used in the past had a rather unpleasant glide strip that feels really slimy to me, but that may be a technological advantage haha
Fun fact:
The same ingredient is cheaper in monostat (for womens bits) than it is in tenactin/etc (for men’s feeet/bits)
They’re different, Monistat is miconazole and Tinactin is tolnaftate. Plus, tolnaftate should never be used vaginally, just as an aside.
Miconozole is also used for athletes foot and jock itch. (Maybe its not tinactin I’m thinking of, but, it’s cheaper to get the monostat vs the men’s athletes foot/jock itch stuff)
Micatin.
Is using an old picture of Elliot Page — and referencing women — considererd poor form? Honest question, I really don’t know the etiquette.
The meme isn’t really referencing the actor, but rather the character. Eliot might not be a woman, but the character is. When cis guys play female characters, we still refer to the character as female. I don’t see why it should be any different when a trans guy plays a female character.
Actually the character is canonically a trans man named Victor… This is from Umbrella Academy but before the character came out. You are correct in general respects just this example particularly is both of two men both canonically and non canonically so its actually kind of not super cool to use this particular image for this gag but largely forgivable if someone honestly was completely unaware of that context when making this meme which if you peaced out before the next season would be a very understandable mistake.
Oh, I didn’t even realize it was from umbrella academy, or that that show had any trans characters. Yeah, that context definitely changes things.
It was actually super cool, when Elliot came out he went to the showrunners to let them know they had nothing to fear, he wouldn’t change his appearance or anything because he was signed on for the show length.
And the show runners in an industry first established a new gold standard by telling him “Nah, how about we just make Vanya into Victor and make it canonical.” So they worked with Page giving him a lot of creative control over the character’s personal journey and showed probably the best depiction of early transition on tv.
Vanya did transition to Victor in the show.
It’s a meme from a movie. Should they ban this movie now and destroy all copies?
TV show, not movie, but no, definitely not saying we should ban anything.
Given that the series handled his transition fairly head on, pretty sure no one wants to destroy the older seasons.
My only question was that this meme is directly referring to the top character as a woman. Most times I see this meme it doesn’t have any references to gender (“morning shift going to work at 6am / night shift coming home at 6am,” or something like that).
The photo is of a woman because at the time of taking it the character (and the actor) was a woman. Transition shouldn’t retroactively change reality.
Trans etiquette wise you aren’t correct. If someone transitions you apply current identity to all photos taken beforehand because the person is the same person. In the same way a picture of a pilot taken before they got their pilots licence is still a picture of a pilot your current understanding of a person updates to current and is retroactively applied.
Saying " this is so and so back when they were a woman" is considered rude since people generally look at their pre transition selves as not having a gender that aligns with their birth sex but rather a stage where they and other people around them did not know their current needs. People will generally not check you on it though if they think that your understanding is very basic. Proper nuance would say “Back when they identified as a woman” because then the implication is that the person didn’t nessisarily change, but the general understanding and social category did… but functionally speaking it’s close enough for someone who isn’t up on best practice.
I don’t think I follow that logic. If I was shown a photo of a baby (that eventually grows up to become a pilot) and asked if it was a photo of a pilot, I would say “no, it’s a photo of a baby, babies can’t be pilots”. Sure, it’s a photo of a baby that will become a pilot, but at that point, it’s just a baby, even though they are the same person.
“Back when they identified as a woman” is the same thing as “back when they were a woman”, because being a woman is merely an act of identifying as one, consciously or otherwise. There’s no universal truth for “being a woman”, gender is a human construct and therefore subjective, which means identifying as a woman is being a woman and vice-versa.
I mean you can get it or not it’s not a debate. Trans etiquette is something that a concensus of trans people request of other people and we set the standards based on how gender makes us feel, not how cis or even isolated trans individuals understand gender. This isn’t an exercise of strict logic. This is dealing with a culture of people dealing with a problem you don’t have and telling you where their pain points are. You don’t have to listen just like you don’t have to obey another culture’s etiquette when you are abroad… but expect to be treated as out to lunch or annoying to deal with. If I took you to meet other people in my community and you did that to one of their past photos I would be embarrassed on your behalf. If you did that to me I would probably not bring it up but internally wince because unless you were a friend I would treat you as a temporary inconvenience.
When someone says “I used to be a woman” my reaction is largely that is just incorrect. I never was a woman there was simply a stage of my life where I was afraid to be a man or unaware that other options were possible. In short - I was coerced. Other people identified me as a woman based on the sex characteristics I had and I identified as a woman because I did so out of fear of social reprisal or because I was kept in ignorance by dint of a society refusing to treat that knowledge as something I was allowed to have. Saying I “was a woman” would imply that I chose to do so freely, which I did not. Quite frankly when they look at a picture of me and read my past self as a woman it’s a reminder that to a lot of people that presentation and body type is all that they need to misgender me in a round about way. They are referring to a time when I was a prisoner to a system and identifying based on what they think I should be coded, not how I code myself. You think it’s fine to say I changed from woman to man because of social category and that it’s a construct - but to be honest that’s a pretty cis take. I react negatively to my SEX characteristics and use gender performance to stop people from bringing up my assumed sex characteristics into conversation. Language is a mirror through which we catch glimpses of ourselves. The mirror does me damage, I don’t linger in front of physical ones and I ask people not to use linguistic ones. When you call me “she” even in past tense you are referring to aspects of my body that I do not have the capacity to feel neutrally about.
I know a fair number of other trans folks who wish to expunge every pretransition photo from existence in part because they invite people to comment on this sort of temporal understanding of gender. If we could have you forget we were ever our birth sex we would. Instead most compromise by asking for a retroactive update.
Frankly, I don’t understand most of what you said, I must be lacking some context. But I do want to clarify one point, which will help me understand a lot of things better. You said:
Saying I “was a woman” would imply that I chose to do so freely, which I did not.
How does one actually identify if they are a “man” or a “woman”? What list of criteria makes one of a certain gender?
In the same way a picture of a pilot taken before they got their pilots licence is still a picture of a pilot
Except you don’t do that unless you’re talking about the person in the present context and comparing to the old one. Getting a pilots license or some other certification doesn’t make you always have had been that. A picture of a three year old playing with blocks is not a picture of a pilot, even if twenty years later they would get a pilot’s license. But it might be a picture of Bob, who later on would become a pilot.
QED the pilot thing was probably a bad example I won’t use again.
How about this, if someone changed their name and you saw a picture of them from before that update… Maybe a baby pic let’s say, what name would you use when identifying the person in the picture?
trans people are trans from birth. he was always trans, he just didn’t know it at that point. transitioning does not retroactively change reality, reality was always like that we just didn’t know. I think they handled his transition amazingly in the show, but your take is bad.
I think this depends how you perceive your pre-transition self. That advice is a good default though.
Personally I find myself switching between both perceptions of my past self, which is even more fucky since I’m closeted.
Gender is a fuck.
Except they were never a woman, they just weren’t out
Identified* as a woman
That’s what being a woman means, no?
Sure, but I think the clarity is important, especially when others see dishonesty without it
So general flow chart here starts with context. When an actor plays a character that character’s gender is considered before the actor.
In this case this picture is from Umbrella Academy but before the character comes out as a trans man. The role was specifically altered for Page by the show runners to make the role more comfortable for the actor (he offered to delay transition goals for the production but the production being incredibly awesome decided that this was something they could flex) so this meme is referencing one of the most recognizable trans actors in the world in a part where the character’s coming out was basically happening during Page’s transition.
Since the character is trans but this pic is before the transition it follows real world etiquette where pre transition photos should use current preferences of identity.
So the answer is from the trans community standpoint is that unless you jumped out of the series before that reveal and were fully unaware then yeah, making this meme with this pic with this specific context is pretty gauche but an easy mistake.
Or: “Men buying women’s hygiene products, because they exist.”
It’s really hard for me to find some stuff at all.
Me with just a bar of soap for my whole body.
