One of my favourite recipes has a comment in a similar vein and it tickles me every time.
For context the recipe is for Oatmeal Cakes, which are baked in a muffin tray.
The commenter says: “I wouldn’t make these again. Although they are not called a muffin, they do look like one in the picture. They are nothing like a muffin. I only realized after I had all of the ingredients in the bowl that the recipe did not call for any flour.” (2/5 stars)
If carrots have too much sugar for you, sweety, don’t bake a fucking cake.
The weird part about these is sometimes the results are absolutely fire as long as you use a little common sense.
Its possible to bake an amazing chocolate cake by replacing the eggs and oil with mayonaise and a great Vanilla cake by replacing the milk and sugar with melted ice cream.
Replacing eggs and oil with mayonnaise?
Milk and sugar replaced with melted ice cream?
You’re just substituting two things with one thing that is made almost entirely from those two things.
Like yes, eggs and oil are a great replacement for eggs and oil.
It still sounds insane at first until you think about it. “I’m baking a chocolate cake, fetch the mayonaise” Is not normal behavior.
I kind of want to call the cops
Theres also a great chocolate cake recipe that involves a can of pickled beets I cant wait to try.
B Dylan Hollis on youtube does a lot of vintage recipes, some with seemingly insane substitutions but some of them work out really well. Theres a bunch he does that I still want to try. The disgusting ones are just entertaining.
Whenever I’m thirsty I just drink a liquefied byproduct of hydrogen and oxygen combustion instead of water
Um that’s horse thirst quencher. Plus it’s incompressible.
Sure, but the people with common sense don’t leave these kinds of comments.
I clearly missed something in the last couple weeks- what is with “rule”? Can anyone explain the sudden explosion of this usage?
It is just a meme of !onehundredninetysix@lemmy.blahaj.zone. It has only one rule, to post something before you leave. So everybody somehow puts “rule” into the title when they post.
For some reason you’re just getting more 196 posts than usually. Or you just started noticing the title more.
Note that there are actually a bunch of rules. “There’s just one rule” is itself a meme derived from it’s historical antecedents.
My mother in law.
I’ve replaced the celery in the raw celery recipe with pizza. Why am I not losing weight?
It says 10 calories per serving! What gives!?
Who the fuck substitutes mayo for heavy cream?
Morons, that don’t think at all.
Hey, they’re both thick and white. And eggs are dairy too!
Hey, they’re both thick and white
If that’s the bar, we should be glad it was mayonnaise!
It’s like that Marie Callender Pie incident lol
I didn’t know this meme until now, and this image is my favourite. Can’t stop laughing.
There’s a sub for this on the other site, called “Didn’tHaveEggs”. It’s funny as.
Thank you. It was one of my favorite subs but I couldn’t remember the name.
Damn I must’ve missed out on that one on other site
funny as what
They forgot the *.
It’s funny as <wildcard>, meaning funny as anything!
Funny as fuck. The last word is implied.
I must’ve done the fucking wrong if it’s supposed to be funny.
Different people find different things funny?
“as” is short for “as shit” it’s like “af” but instead it’s “as”
Where I’m from we say “funny as” missing off the “fuck”.
Either way we’re having a good time.
as
Carrots have way too much sugar?? To go in a cake?? Wut
What’s wrong honey? You haven’t finished your kale cake.
Kace
Kake, by KDE
Someone probably tried to install Linux on a cake
Kacke - which is coincidentally a German word that describes the look and taste of said cake very well.
In my grandparents’ region (south-east of France), there’s a traditional pie made with leafy greens: tourte de blettes, that is to say “chard pie”.
My grandmother calls it tourte d’herbes (“herb pie”), it’s very good, there’s definitely sugar in it!
One of the few things I miss on Reddit is a sub called “Ididnthaveeggs” or something like that. Basically a whole sub of the bonkers substitutions people have done. It was always a good read.
Honestly one of my favorite subs ever. Would be nice if we had that one here
Be the change you want to see in this world.
1/5 stars
I didn’t have sugar, butter, vanilla, or baking powder, and I substituted the milk with cheddar cheese. Also, I don’t have an oven, so I just used a frying pan on the stove top. It turned into an omelet! Would not recommend this cake recipe.
7/11 with rice
I tried to make fried eggs but I didn’t have eggs so I replaced them with ice cream.
0/10 hot ice cream soup isn’t fried eggs!!
How did I know about that sub! I love hearing about those idiots
How did i not know about that sub? I would love hearing those idiots
Carrots having way too much sugar is wild to me. Like what do you eat except kale?
I mean, carrots do have a lot of sugar as vegetables go, but it’s like 5% sugar by weight. If you’re cutting out stuff with that low of a ratio, you’re probably taking a low sugar diet a bit far.
I wouldn’t eat a raw carrot either unless I’m looking for a sugar shock but this is like one ingredient of a cake, a fucking CAKE!! What else did you supplement?
I wouldn’t eat a raw carrot either unless I’m looking for a sugar shock
Are you literally out of your mind? Sugar shock from A CARROT??
Are you sure you’re not confusing “a raw carrot“ with “a big bag of candy”? It’s a common mistake in some cultures, I bet 🤷
I’m not an expert on that but I’m pretty sure I was joking
Upon further consideration as well as evaluation of your supplementary information, I have concluded that you were in fact joking.
I have furthermore decided that your joke was funny and that I’m a bit of a doofus for going all in on my “they’re super serial” hypothesis.
Have a lovely day 😁
serial like serial killer or dr. house?
Serial like Al Gore about manbearpig.
Traditionally carrots were used as the main sweetener in carrot cake. Something developed during lean times when honey, fruits and sugar weren’t available. So assuming this person was looking for a “low sugar cake” recipe, they may have found a carrot cake recipe that only used carrots for sweetening.
… and then they removed the carrots to reduce the sugar content further. So yah it’s going to be an awful cake if there is zero sweetness in it. Like, just make a savory baked good at that point.
Carrots as sweetner is sad…
More kale
They’re making a cake, you don’t want sugar in cake!
Red kale is actually kinda sweet
I’m guilty of this. For my pesto recipe I replaced pine nuts with peanuts, olive oil with sunflower oil, basil with spinach, cheese with nooch, but kept the salt, pepper, garlic and citric acid. It’s not exactly pesto anymore at that point, but for a struggle meal it could be a lot worse.
It still probably tastes more like pesto than what you get in a jar from the supermarket
Unrelated but if anyone wants to try pesto 2.0, sub the basil for wild garlic and half the pine nuts for cashews, it’s a delightful taste sensation.
What in the poverty is “nooch”? Also, peanuts have too much flavor and spinach too little compared to their counterparts. I can’t even imagine what that tasted likeWhat in the poverty is “nooch”? Along with the rest that just sounds like sour garlic peanut butter. No thank you.
It’s not a poverty thing, it’s a vegan thing. It’s Nutritional Yeast, which tastes kind of cheesy
Well those ingredients are way more similar to eachother than “eggs and mashed banana”
Only if you replaced the peanuts with raisins, the basil with pine needles and the olive oil with teriyaki sauce would you have a case for being guilt to this degree.
Actually banana for eggs can work if you know what you’re doing. In many baking recipes, the egg is used as a binder. Pectin (found in fruit) can work as well, but you need to alter the recipe in very specific ways to make it work.
Tell me you’re vegan without telling me you’re vegan ;-)
The hard part is not having every cake taste like banana bread. But I can confirm that it works if you know what to do.
Yep! Got it in one :)
Technically what you made very well could still be “Pesto”, since the word refers to how it’s prepared not what’s in it (shares the same root as Pestle). The basil, pine nut, olive oil, and cheese recipe you were following would be Pesto alla Genovese
For sure. I make pesto sometimes with dandelion leaves, olive oil, and walnuts. Any oil you like the flavour of, any bitter green, any nut. Garlic, however, is mandatory.
Well that’s explains why supermarket “Pesto” is allowed to be completely devoid if olive oil. I hate it so much, it tastes wildly different with sunflower oil than with olive oil.
Oh, I’d use olive oil if my wallet allowed it. But I did quit coffee not too long ago, maybe I should make olive oil my new luxury item.
Ah, but did you then complain that the recipe was bad?
Seeing as I was frankensteining the recipe from several sources, I wouldn’t even know where to complain if I had wanted to, so no.
I wouldn’t even know where to complain if I had wanted to
gold
Like it’s definitely a different thing, but it’s the same general concept, gonna have a wildly different flavor but fill the same kind of culinary niche.
Replacing carrot with kale in a freaking carrot cake is like replacing basil with potatoes.
There are worse ways to riff on a recipe, I don’t know what nooch is but the rest at least sounds like possible replacements. You’re right it wouldn’t be pesto, but I don’t think I’d hate it.
Nooch is nutritional yeast. It’s probably the most expensive ingredient in the recipe hah, but it goes a long way. Even though I’m not vegan, I’ve dabbled with vegan substitutions and nutritional yeast was probably the best part of that journey.
As someone in IT people do the same thing. Specifically as a favor I managed to get a crappy Samsung on a up to date version of LineageOS (through a GSI). For some reason it had a very specific problem that you cant do recovery though the OS so I installed teamwin. I tell this person “ok this phone isnt secure, dont put info on it. Also dont reset through LineageOS”. Well guess what, he did that anway and I ofc fixed it.
Oh my god, GSIs. I used a phone with a GSI for a month. More than that would just make me kill myself.
The person needed it working quickly unti he can get a new one
So in cooking, I tend to do this sort of thing all the time, but not in a dumb way - for example, when I roast a chicken, if I want a more Asian spin on it, I’d sub out my usual herbs de Provence + fresh parsley/sage/rosemary/thyme for chili crisp, ginger, sambal olek, minced Thai basil, and a bit of cilantro, or something like that.
But in baking, there’s actual chemistry involved with almost everything, so you do not want to fuck with that unless you actually know what you’re doing…
when I roast a chicken, if I want a more Asian spin on it, I’d sub out my usual herbs de Provence + fresh parsley/sage/rosemary/thyme for chili crisp, ginger, sambal olek, minced Thai basil, and a bit of cilantro, or something like that.
Where pepper?
Anyway; cooking is art, baking is science.
Also I’m so shy to ask the author from explanation when I change a little thing. I know I’m not an expert so maybe for this recipe preheating my oven was actually very important…
But at the same time there’s a difference between making an informed/educated guess on a valid swap vs what these people are doing, which is one short step from “I didn’t have cinnamon sticks so I got some sticks from the tree outside my house”
